... when ward members were describing child birth today. How great it is.

I couldn't help think about the lady in front of me, past child bearing age. She was probably hoping the discussion moved on ASAP, but it dragged on and on. People bragging about the birth of their children, and grandchildren.

That is all.

yes this is an unpleasant experience that is traumatizing to listen to in church. In mormondom the way you get validation is through having a family. Those that don't, are considered less valiant and only good to be slaves, to adore married people. Sort of the like the Eternal Alice from the Brady Bunch. Mormonism takes this to a whole new level of horribleness that is even bad for Christianity.

I would say that being single is the biggest factor in why they are losing members. But of course the GA's don't recognize or understand that, instead they bleat on pleading for inactives to return to the table, to stop sinning (getting tattoos or drinking coka-cola or whatever). Because mormondom is just so great and has such tender mercies.

I remember before I had my children it was painful to be a single Mormon woman in TSCC, as a college undergrad in the Morridor. Regardless of whether I was in a singles ward, or in a family ward, it was immaterial.

But when in a family ward surrounded by couples with young children it was more poignant, because I really longed to be a mother.

It was also a stigma to be a single mother following a divorce in TSCC. Either way, they cut much slack to childless women or couples, or to single people with children, especially divorcees. Married women feel especially threatened by single women in the cult, like we're there to steal their husbands.

I would hear women telling me their husbands saying things like I had nice legs or I looked really pretty when I wasn't wearing my glasses, and stuff like that, when I was a young single mother. No wonder they may have felt threatened; they were overweight, older frumpy housewives when I went to their ward. I wasn't a threat, but that's now how they perceived me. Mostly petty gossipy chatter like that back and forth.

But childless men and women? Yeah, they would be subjected to more harsh treatment I would think. Enough that would drive them into inactivity if they aren't overly zealous.

And it was probably annoying to those who are childless by choice.

olderelder Wrote:
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> And it was probably annoying to those who are
> childless by choice.

I've known several LDS couples who had trouble conceiving, some of whom have used IVF etc. Others who cannot get pregnant since it would kill them.

One of my cousins wasn't able to have children because she was a hemophiliac. She was a RM, temple married, and I'm pretty sure it deeply disturbed her she never was able to conceive or it would have killed her to try and carry a child to term.

She passed away in 2017 at the age of 59 from the disorder she'd lived with all her life.

She would've loved to have had children. That had to have caused her great sorrow. She became a schoolteacher until she had to retire early due to disability.