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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 12:49AM

This story comes from my Mom. I would love to say that she lost her testimony while at the temple, but such is not the case. This is another story about the usual pettiness that members seem to adore. My Mom related this recent experience at her local temple and she actually found it funny so I tried not to interrupt her as she shared her latest agony of defeat in mormonism.

So in case you don't know, men and women wear silly and ridiculous looking clothing in their holy temple. Every piece of clothing must be white, not almond or off-white, but white. She attends a temple in the golden state and it's a bring your own temple clothing in your little suitcase. She's there as part of her ward's temple night so she's sitting with her peers.

About halfway through the endowment session, one of the temple matriarch's pushed her way through the seating to tap my Mom on the shoulder. They stopped the film and she was told to follow her to the side. Everyone is watching.

So the temple worker told her that she is dressed inappropriately for the session. My Mom is bewildered. She was told to raise her temple robe (which droops onto the floor) and there's the violation!

"You're wearing tan pantyhose. They have to be white."

I think my Mom nearly let out a laugh. She told the sisters (now a second one has arrived) "Well nobody can tell"

One of the workers realized that my Mom isn't easily scared. "You may have to exit the session. This is a very serious violation. The Lord is displeased when we don't do things his way."

Yet another worker arrived, and she was younger than the two older biddies. "Is this your first time? You can buy white nylons at the dollar store. There's one down the street from here" [as if my Mom who carpooled was going to drive someone else's car or walk down the street to buy a pair of white stockings]

After a top meeting of the old biddies with the marvelous priesthood, they waltz back to my Mom. A good 10 minutes or more have transpired. A lot of men are coughing as a signal to get the film turned on.

"After serious prayer and thought. The Lord says you are permitted to proceed. But always remember to dress appropriately from head to foot."

She finished, but her temple buddy-pals were rather quiet on the way back. They must have thought of her as a heathen.

I add from my experiences at the temple that I don't remember being to able to see women's feet or shoes because their temple gowns were so close to the ground if not dragging on the floor. Are they wearing shorter dresses/gowns in the temple now?

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 01:08AM

1) Take the pantyhose off.
2) Tear it (them?) apart into two leggings.
3) Tie one legging firmly around mouth of Temple Worker #1.
4) Tie other legging firmly around mouth of Temple worker #2.
5) Leave session.
6) Leave temple
7) Leave CoJCoLdS.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 05:20AM


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Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 05:52AM

Bwaahahahahaha!

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 09:08AM

I have not archived in along time. This is a perfect example of how rules based instead of compassion based this organization is structured. The fact that she still wants to attend demonstrates the intensity of the indoctrination.

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Posted by: memikeyounot ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 10:11AM

Best answer of the day.....;

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Posted by: YouMikeMeGnot ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 12:47PM

I've only had one cup.

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Posted by: subeamnotlogedin ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 07:40AM

+1

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Posted by: heartbroken ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 01:13AM

Your poor mom. She bothers to go to the temple and sit through a boring session only to be chastised for wearing the wrong color of nylons. Like God gives a crap what color of nylons she is wearing.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 01:22AM

Temple workers must be aware of just how anal ghawd really is.

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Posted by: Levi ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 01:32AM

The mormon church is closer to the Pharisees than they'd like to admit.

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Posted by: Bamboozled ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 08:42AM

I think they've actually out-Phariseed the Pharisees.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 01:40AM

All-too-typical for ChurchCo members, but this one is tough to top;

Thanks for posting!!!

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Posted by: lurking in ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 03:12AM

Wrong.

Elohim, Jehovah and Michael can tell.

And, by extension (through modern optics technology), X-ray-vision-glasses-wearing temple matrons.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 03:24AM

lurking in Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wrong.
>
> (through modern optics
> technology), X-ray-vision-glasses-wearing

What--they really work?

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Posted by: lurking in ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 03:38AM


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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 05:30AM

I wouldn’t be caught dead in that outfit.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 08:05AM

"After serious prayer and thought. The Lord says you are permitted to proceed.”

I thought that only Russ could speak for the lord.

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Posted by: yorkie ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 09:28AM

Ridiculous isn't it, you would think that god had more important things to deal with than the colour of a lady's nylons....

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Posted by: LJ12 ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 10:57AM

I don’t know whether to be disgusted or to laugh out loud. Im pretty sure I wore skin coloured tights to the temple. Like who ever wears white stockings? Unless you’re 5 years old and doing ballet. They should sell these with the overly priced temple costume if that’s a rule, as I’m pretty sure these are not sold anywhere. I literally have never seen any woman wearing white tights unless they were on stage.
If it had been me, I’d have just taken them off and sat back down. You prefer my bare legs then? Or do you have some white stockings I can put on? Let’s just get on with the comedy show.
On another note - how did I ever sit through that temple ceremony even once? It’s completely bonkers in itself, but the costume made us look crazy. No wonder it’s ‘sacred’ (secret). I’m glad she told you about it. Sounds like she has a sense of humour, something I can only laugh about years after the fact.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 11:25AM

Temple worker: What about those tan panty hose you have on?
(Mom draws her toga up to reveal a tan pair of pantyhose.)
Mom: They are an emblem of my power and Priesthoods.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 12:13PM

They work in pairs. There was not one time I went to the temple that the old ladies didn't find something I did wrong.

I tied my sash wrong once. It wasn't perfectly a bow. I had my robe on inside out once and those who have been through the temple know how that robe is.

They were badgering about my wedding dress sleeves. I bought it at ZCMI and asked the women what needed to be lined and they said the sleeves didn't need to be as there was a cap sleeve over the long sleeves. They were really giving me a rough time until my mom showed up. My quiet socially awkward mother and just the fact a person their age showed up and they stopped badgering me.

I have a girl cut my hair who is the daughter of our good friends from the singles' ward we met in. This girl works in the temple one night a week. I was talking to her about that and she said, "We've been TOLD not to bother people about anything unless it is something very important." She said they have a lot of complaints about the old temple workers nit picking people to death.

Deenie had a few good stories about this, too.

If I were your mother, I'd never go back.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 12:51PM

Somehow the matron became aware of this situation, I doubt it was by spiritual means...

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Posted by: LJ12 ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 12:53PM

They were examining women’s legs during the most sacred ceremony on earth. I would have asked them about that. Do you like my legs? You seem overly interested. My legs are naturally quite white, shall I take these off, and do you want to watch?

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 01:04PM

"Thanks for coming to the temple today. How about if we reward you with some unrighteous dominion?"

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: August 07, 2019 08:21PM

Yes... TOTALLY!

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Posted by: Anon... ( )
Date: July 18, 2019 05:34PM

1. Fart a Gordon B. Stinky, and then just keep farting.

2. Take off your temple slipper and start talking to it.

3. If a man, sit over in the lady's section during the endowment. Put your arm around the sister next to you. Ask her if she's ever frenched kiss during an endowment ceremony.

4. If a woman, sit over in the man's section. Grab the man next to you by his Johnson, and start singing, "Hold to the rod, the iron rod" and then start laughing.

5. Pull out a bag of popcorn and start munching.

6. When the ceremony says, "What is wanted?" Say loudly, "I would like a drink of water, I am very thirsty...what time is it...I have to poopy."

7. Underarm fart the tune, "I am a Child of God"

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 02:08AM

how many ppl have told you that you're PURE EVIL?

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 02:13AM

Cackling!

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Posted by: doyle18 ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 12:08PM

It's a good thing I wasn't drinking my coffee at this point. LMAO!!

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 01:55AM

Yes, I would also have taken off the stockings, on the spot. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know tinted stockings were not allowed. Here ya go. Please throw them away for me."

Some dorm friends and I had to cross the campus, while walking home from shopping. It was snowing. We decided to stop and see the campus movie, and the ticket sellers said that pants were not allowed in the movie. I made them repeat that, for clarity. Then, we went into the bathroom, and I said, "Girls--no pants in the campus movie", and we all took off our pants and stuffed them into our shopping bags. We all had coats on, that came to the knee and below, and we looked silly with bare legs and snow boots, but they let us in.

This kind of stuff makes perfect sense to BYU people....

It's OK for old ladies to touch your boobs and hairy place, if it's part of a temple ritual, and it's OK for a strange man to feel your 5 points through a veil and temple clothes.

It's OK to sleep through a temple session, but not OK to get up to go to the bathroom, and come back. It's not OK to sit by the door, either. You sit where you are lined up to sit, and you can not get out of line, for any reason. I used to tell RS people that I couldn't go to Ward Temple Night, because I had a bladder infection, LOL.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 04:34AM

exminion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, I would also have taken off the stockings, on
> the spot. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know tinted
> stockings were not allowed. Here ya go. Please
> throw them away for me."
>
> Some dorm friends and I had to cross the campus,
> while walking home from shopping. It was snowing.
> We decided to stop and see the campus movie, and
> the ticket sellers said that pants were not
> allowed in the movie. I made them repeat that,
> for clarity. Then, we went into the bathroom, and
> I said, "Girls--no pants in the campus movie", and
> we all took off our pants and stuffed them into
> our shopping bags. We all had coats on, that came
> to the knee and below, and we looked silly with
> bare legs and snow boots, but they let us in.
>
> This kind of stuff makes perfect sense to BYU
> people....
>
> It's OK for old ladies to touch your boobs and
> hairy place, if it's part of a temple ritual, and
> it's OK for a strange man to feel your 5 points
> through a veil and temple clothes.
>
> It's OK to sleep through a temple session, but not
> OK to get up to go to the bathroom, and come back.
> It's not OK to sit by the door, either. You sit
> where you are lined up to sit, and you can not get
> out of line, for any reason. I used to tell RS
> people that I couldn't go to Ward Temple Night,
> because I had a bladder infection, LOL.

Thanks for reminding me about additional bologna. I remember waiting in the small chapel room prior to the session. I had to make one last dash to the restroom. I was only away for 2-3 minutes and when I returned, both men and women were already being marched towards the endowment room. I had been sitting next to my Dad so I attempted to pass two brothers from the rear to resume my "spot". A hand fell on my shoulder and grabbed my shirt. I stopped and he told me to stop. He said that I would be last because that was my spot. When it came to be lined into the row of seats my Dad then stopped and gestured for two brothers to walk by, a temple worker yelled "Stop". Everyone stopped and the prick walked over and told my Dad to proceed. We were not allowed to switch places to sit together. Unbelievable!

I also had to leave a session to use the restroom. They stopped the film and walked me to the back. They would neither wait for me nor allow me to rejoin the session. I was forced to agree with them that I was voluntarily leaving the session and that I might face serious eternal repercussions for "withdrawing" to take a dump. Looking back I should have forsaken my dignity and took a crap in my temple pants for all of them to relish.

It just bugs me how shoddy members are treated, but only a handful of members speak up so such behavior is tolerated, perhaps encouraged.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: August 07, 2019 08:25PM

messygoop Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> exminion Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Yes, I would also have taken off the stockings,
> on
> > the spot. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know tinted
> > stockings were not allowed. Here ya go.
> Please
> > throw them away for me."
> >
> > Some dorm friends and I had to cross the
> campus,
> > while walking home from shopping. It was
> snowing.
> > We decided to stop and see the campus movie,
> and
> > the ticket sellers said that pants were not
> > allowed in the movie. I made them repeat that,
> > for clarity. Then, we went into the bathroom,
> and
> > I said, "Girls--no pants in the campus movie",
> and
> > we all took off our pants and stuffed them into
> > our shopping bags. We all had coats on, that
> came
> > to the knee and below, and we looked silly with
> > bare legs and snow boots, but they let us in.
> >
> > This kind of stuff makes perfect sense to BYU
> > people....
> >
> > It's OK for old ladies to touch your boobs and
> > hairy place, if it's part of a temple ritual,
> and
> > it's OK for a strange man to feel your 5 points
> > through a veil and temple clothes.
> >
> > It's OK to sleep through a temple session, but
> not
> > OK to get up to go to the bathroom, and come
> back.
> > It's not OK to sit by the door, either. You
> sit
> > where you are lined up to sit, and you can not
> get
> > out of line, for any reason. I used to tell RS
> > people that I couldn't go to Ward Temple Night,
> > because I had a bladder infection, LOL.
>
> Thanks for reminding me about additional bologna.
> I remember waiting in the small chapel room prior
> to the session. I had to make one last dash to the
> restroom. I was only away for 2-3 minutes and when
> I returned, both men and women were already being
> marched towards the endowment room. I had been
> sitting next to my Dad so I attempted to pass two
> brothers from the rear to resume my "spot". A hand
> fell on my shoulder and grabbed my shirt. I
> stopped and he told me to stop. He said that I
> would be last because that was my spot. When it
> came to be lined into the row of seats my Dad then
> stopped and gestured for two brothers to walk by,
> a temple worker yelled "Stop". Everyone stopped
> and the prick walked over and told my Dad to
> proceed. We were not allowed to switch places to
> sit together. Unbelievable!
>
> I also had to leave a session to use the restroom.
> They stopped the film and walked me to the back.
> They would neither wait for me nor allow me to
> rejoin the session. I was forced to agree with
> them that I was voluntarily leaving the session
> and that I might face serious eternal
> repercussions for "withdrawing" to take a dump.
> Looking back I should have forsaken my dignity and
> took a crap in my temple pants for all of them to
> relish.
>
> It just bugs me how shoddy members are treated,
> but only a handful of members speak up so such
> behavior is tolerated, perhaps encouraged.

Funny (both)

Mormonism shuts people Down
People SHOULD speak Up

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: August 08, 2019 02:05PM

spiritual experience. They sure do set the tone, don't they!

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Posted by: subeamnotlogedin ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 07:45AM

exminion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yes, I would also have taken off the stockings, on
> the spot. "Oh, sorry, I didn't know tinted
> stockings were not allowed. Here ya go. Please
> throw them away for me."
>

That would have been great!

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Posted by: Becca ( )
Date: August 04, 2019 05:07AM

Yep!
How about if a woman in that situation would just hoist up all her skirts and starts to take off the hose?.. And doing it in such a manner that all the brethren in the room get a glorious view of her underpants and even her bum as she bends down (with the skirts and robes hoisted around her waist... to take the hose off of her feet...

Now THAT would be entertainment..

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: August 07, 2019 08:26PM

SORELY 'Needed' "entertainment"

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 02:11AM

I hope EVERYONE in that session knew how silly this was;

some will agree, others will snicker.

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 02:21AM

On my wedding day, the temple biddy decided I needed to do up more buttons on the front of my dress. It was already two inches above the garment line AND the pearl buttons were decorative not functional. She fussed at me for a while and then gave up.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: July 20, 2019 03:11AM

c/would loosing a few dozen rodents in the temple be considered 'without trying'?

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: August 07, 2019 08:27PM

GNPE Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> c/would loosing a few dozen rodents in the temple
> be considered 'without trying'?


Well, MAYBE...
But why stop there?

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Posted by: allegro ( )
Date: July 21, 2019 04:04PM

This reminds me of a story that someone told me. I have used this and it is effective:
A rancher had just finished his chores and decided to go to a nearby church. He walked in with his dirty clothes and the deacon walked up and told him he was dressed inappropriately and next time wear better clothing. The next Sunday came and the rancher walked in with jeans and a cleaner shirt. The deacon stated again he needed to dress for the Lord. The deacon told him to go home and pray and ask the Lord what he should wear. The next Sunday the man came back in the same clothing. The deacon asks, "Well did you pray about what to wear?" The rancher answered, "Yes, I asked him what I should wear to this church." The deacon asked,"Well what did he say?" The rancher replied,"He said he didn't know, he had never been to this church before."

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: August 07, 2019 08:33PM

And "He" said he couldn't read the name on the sign - or the fine print on the website, or pamphlets (or even tract down an curious or investigating missionary or two [when they have grown a foot or two]lol) - and had never even heard of Joseph's Myth.

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Posted by: Afraid of the Boogie Brethren ( )
Date: July 22, 2019 12:06AM

I was a convert in the 70's, my parents finally allowed me to get baptized when I was 16. I was raised in a normal Lutheran left-wing family! Oh, I never confessed any sins to the bishop at my baptism interview. So of course I felt like a piece of shit when I was baptized and spent most of my time in tSCC feeling like a piece of shit. I never fasted and never read the bom...so then I hated myself for lack of spiritual desire, if that makes sense.

So some friends and I (all converts) drove to slc for a few days and were going to the temple to do baptisms, for the first time. Because we were not going to be there on a weekend, I didn't even think about the temple and didn't bring a dress. Of course at the temple rec interview, I again neglected to confess my sins, so I felt like a piece of crap going into the temple.

When my friends and I got to the check in desk at the temple, this old bag screamed out "DUNGAREEEEEEES" at the top of her lungs and was pointing at me. When I came to (after fainting from humiliation- jk)) someone apparently made a decision that I could still come in, but was glared at the entire time like I was the devil. So I felt even more unworthy.

Did the whole naked under this jumpsuit thing, baptisms, etc. I felt absolutely nothing and was horrified at myself that I didnt. Naturally I don't feel anything because I'm a piece of crap.

Go out to dinner afterwards with my friends and fellow attendees and they are going on and on about how it was the most wonderful experience of their lives, OH how they felt the prophets there, blah blah wee wee. So naturally I feel like a pile of crap again because I didn't feel that. It must be me, who is sooo horrible that they cant' feel the spirit.....

Looking back after being out for 39 years, I have to blame tscc for many challenges I have had i.e. self worth, fear of outer darkness, feeling extremely unworthy.

Well, phooey on them all!!!

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Posted by: catholicrebel ( )
Date: August 03, 2019 10:22PM

I had to close my eyes a minute right after getting to the part of her pantyhose being the wrong color.

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: August 04, 2019 06:14AM

If a person was not wearing any panty hose, what violative color(s) might their legs end up being?????

STUPID DAMN MORmONS !!!!

Perhaps temple attendees should be spray painted white too???

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: August 04, 2019 06:24AM

the Idaho Falls temple president Devere Harris tried similar BS with me back in 1982 as I took my convert to the temple AGAINST my wishes. Devere was upset that I was not wearing a white shirt and tie to attend his temple, I told him that I really did not want to come that day but my convert had insisted. Begging the question would he be happier IF I just did not come at all. Well I have an answer to that question for me !!! I am much happier NOT going to the stupid ass MORmON temple. and so is my convert, In fact neither will ever taint the interior of any Hell hole POS MORmON temple with our presence again. and we wont be paying any tithing either. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, MORmONS ??????? then they have to make TV and internet video ads telling people how welcoming and congenial that MORmONS are. PISS ON THE MORmON church !!!!

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Posted by: Dr. No ( )
Date: August 06, 2019 12:51PM

". . . "You may have to exit the session. This is a very serious violation. The Lord is displeased when we don't do things his way." . . . "After serious prayer and thought. The Lord says you are permitted to proceed. But always remember to dress appropriately from head to foot."
===================================

This account just totally cracks me up! Thanks.

(Man, if you didn't know it was true before . . .)

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Posted by: Eric3 ( )
Date: August 08, 2019 01:33PM

Wow. The Lord is displeased by your not completely white pantyhose. Seriously?

As J. B. Phillips would put it: Your God is Too Small.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: August 08, 2019 08:19PM

Amazing how people will laugh but only occasionally think, or say anything.

Won't somebody PLEASE
JUST Say Something!

Act up. Ask questions.
Cuss. Become naked.
Anything!

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Posted by: celeste ( )
Date: August 08, 2019 11:09PM

Did anyone else just want to stand up and scream this is ridiculous bs and March out? Just me?

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