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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 07:55PM

I decided to look at the stats since it has been awhile. The site had not been updated other than the activity on the bulletin boards.

Requests per day Week of Aug 5th, 2019

Mon 161693
Wed 144506
Thu 145886

At our high a few years ago, we averaged around 210,000 to 220,000 per day with occasional forays of 300,000+ on a major Mormon news item.

Yes activity is down, but it is significant with all the other alternatives out there. Lots of folks leaving and recovering from Mormonism.

I have mostly moved on with my music and retirement with a little engineering consulting as well, so I have not updated the main site and perhaps Concrete Zipper will at some point. Great folks here that I hope continue as I leave in the near future.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 08:01PM

I'm hoping that when the glad tidings are made more public, things will pick up! This can be a great place to flex our exmormonosity!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 08:04PM

Or in your case, your exmormonmonstrosity!

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 08:10PM

Now you're being ’flippant’, like Elder Berry!

I would expect better from a lady!!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 09:28PM

There's a difference between a woman and a lady.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 09:31PM

Even in the dark?

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 09:45PM

:O

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 08:44PM

I sense a profound flexing going on here... maybe its the

fresh air brought about by the door opening and closing?

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Posted by: tbrown9163 ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 09:01PM

Hi Eric:

I've been on the site from time to time since 1997. It is interesting what has changed from those early days, not just the 'competition' but also the Internet overall has transitioned how people get information. But I would say that overall, the interest in religion generally is also down from those days....not promoting any secularism here but its likely a fact.

I was on a Mediterranean island for a family wedding earlier this summer, and then in eastern Europe (on the same swing of the trip) and as always I try to look for where the local LDS establishment is (if its still there) and if it has changed etc.

I see that from 20 years ago, nothing much has changed. The locations are still about the same size (but have big signs out front) and a few people I know there know people who have become members and then how it took their money and sent them off the deep end.

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 09:47PM

I often feel guilty that I'm not on here much anymore. I have recovered a lot from Mormonism, but it is also because I'm doing a major house renovation, and have so little time that I don't even check my E-mail much. I miss a lot of the people, too. I sometimes read, but don't participate.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 09:59PM

I'd like to speak for the thousands. Thank you, Eric. What a guy!

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 10:24PM

Yes Cheryl... we all owe him such a debt of gratitude for his

unselfish desire to aide all of us in our leaving mormonism.

I was so grateful for this place when I was contemplating

leaving the church. It was a major help for me and many many

others. Thank you Eric K.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 11:10PM

RfM was a trend setter for a group like this when it first started.

There were not many specialized major social media places like there are today (at least that I knew about). (Dial-up AOL chat anyone?)

Now I think people spend more time on places like Twitter, Farcebook, etc.

Plus, it isn't so novel that people found a place to openly discuss religion anymore. More and more people don't find religion worth bothering with one way or the other. More Mormons are catching on that their history doesn't matter, just like other religions. Why should they leave if they like the punch and cookies?

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: August 09, 2019 11:20PM

> More and more
> people don't find religion worth bothering with
> one way or the other. More Mormons are catching on
> that their history doesn't matter, just like other
> religions. Why should they leave if they like the
> punch and cookies?

I don't agree fully with the punch and cookies statement, but I do think attitudes among young Mormons have changed. When they leave, they just walk away. They are a generation that grew up essentially without doctrine, so they don't have to dismantle as much as older generations do.

For many it is so simple that they have no need for emotional and intellectual discussion; and there are so many young ex-Mos that they don't need to go to the internet to find a new community. From the church's perspective, they really are a "lost generation.'

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Posted by: Dr. No ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 08:44PM

". . . They are a generation that grew up essentially without doctrine, . . ." (Lot's Wife)
=====================================================

This is interesting, so dig a little and find

https://kutv.com/news/local/losing-their-religion-millennials-including-utahns-leaving-church

Fascinating.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 08:56PM

The article said that Pew figures mormon retention of Millennials at 64%...

But of the 64% who don't walk away/resign, how many are paying a full tithe? I don't believe that you can assume a one to one relationship between 'not resigning' and being a practicing mormon.

How many 'ministers' are properly ministering?

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 09:12PM

This board was a lifesaver to me when I came here. It helped me realize who I should be angry with rather than gays. It helped me come to terms with my marriage and my husband and I are now good friends and share the house together. I never could have predicted that all those years ago. It really did save me and I'll be forever grateful.

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 09:36PM

Girl, you had a LOT of people to be justly angry with! You have handled things much better than most, including me, could have :)

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 10:44PM

Yes, RFM has been a life saver! I don't think any other forum could have helped me so much. Over the years, my problems have been varied and extreme, and no matter where circumstances have put me and my children, RFM has helped.
"Gospel" questions answered! Some questions, I had been asking all of my TBM BIC life! Thank you for The Truth! The scriptures, church history, JS and BY history, the various scams in the formation of the cult and also ongoing by the cult today

Next, RFM helped me with my prolonged "anger" stage of loss. I vented my anger here. I learned that anger was very common and normal, when Mormons discover they have been lied to their whole life--and by their own parents and other adults they had been brainwashed into trusting and respecting.

I desperately wanted to "un-brainwash" myself, and RFM has helped with that by dispelling Mormon myths and Mormon claims of authority from God. I learned that the male priesthood authority was bogus, and that the Mormons actually did disrespect women and their rights. (Previously, I though I was just one of those "uppity wimmin" trying to live a man's life as the sole head of household and breadwinner. I was told that I was arrogant and delusional, if I thought I could raise my children alone. RFM gave me courage, and hope. Other ex-Mormon women were doing the same thing, and we all I proved the Mormons wrong!

RFM helped me deal with my PTSD and the church-triggered flashbacks.

You people helped me deal with abuse and abusers, and STOP the Mormons from abusing my children. You gave me instructions on how to get my family out of the cycle of abuse, and out into a free and happy life! How can I possibly thank anyone enough for this.

I'm glad that I could remain anonymous, because my abusive ex-husband, and a few of his Mormon family members, have been stalking and harassing me all these years. When the kids and I resigned, and were no longer potential temple-sealed "possessions", the worst of the stalking ended.

In the end, believe it or not, it was RFM that helped teach me love and REAL "forgiveness--not the Mormon versions of love and forgiveness, but the true unconditional love that even extends to your self, in the form of self-esteem, confidence, having value--no longer wanting to give up, or to commit suicide, or to accept abuse.

Posters like Cl2, Susie Q, Summer, (I hate to name names, because I am leaving most of you out) have guided me in coping with the remaining Mormons in our life, that family and neighborhood forces me to deal with almost every day. Some of you people are still happily married to Mormons, and include yourselves in your Mormon children's lives, and still are friendly and kind to your Mormon neighbors, and have moved on from past abuse--I have such respect for you!

RFM has enhanced our lives!

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: August 11, 2019 06:01PM

Thank you, Eric!

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: August 11, 2019 06:48PM

I'm thinking that at least 100K of those requests must be mine. :o)

It looks like the site still has very good traffic. It's probably like it always was where there are a huge number of people who just read/lurk. Hopefully more of those people will feel comfortable enough to dive in and post.

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Posted by: conscious ( )
Date: August 14, 2019 11:59AM

I have been visiting this site (mostly reading) since the early 2000s. This site has helped me recover and become at peace with my experiences with the church. Thank you Erik for creating this site!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: August 15, 2019 11:19AM

Eric K Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> so I have not updated the main site and
> perhaps Concrete Zipper will at some point.
> Great folks here that I hope continue as I leave
> in the near future.

You did a great job at a crucial time. Whatever happens it will based upon a good foundation. You've provided a forum for so much struggle with the painted delusions of a corrupt corporation that you will never be able to conceive of how many lives you've touched for the better with your efforts.

If there is a butterfly effect then RfM has been a beautiful beating of the wings of freedom from the chains of the religious oppression of so many.

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Posted by: Pathos (nli) ( )
Date: August 15, 2019 12:03PM

This board proved vital for me in the 2011-2015 range. I can never thank everyone enough for providing me a place to vent and process.

I have largely left this board (lurk once every 3-4 months) because it seemed that a few folks with severe emotional problems began to start and/or dominate every thread. I don't mean to demean anyone, but that's by far the reason I don't frequent as much. I know others felt the same way.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 15, 2019 08:02PM

I'm trying to reel myself in...

And it's okay if you name names. I don't mind. It's useful, in the long run.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: August 16, 2019 12:12PM

I blame your parent's parent's parents? How far back does the blame go? I cant' remember.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: August 17, 2019 12:14PM

So help me understand, Pathos (NLI)..you think this forum is now full of people with severe emotional problems, bullies, etc.

So WHY ARE YOU HERE? Why did you even get on the site to make this comment? Why? Why? Why? I just don't understand why you would even bother.

And then you say, after suggestion that there are many that have "severe emotional problems" and many "bullies", but you don't mean to demean...lol..bwahahaha...then what do you mean to do? What do you mean? Why are you here? Your comments are an insult to Eric and his team.

So move on brother Pathos. You're good to go man..don't look back. Right? You're being kind of a bully here, with your veiled insults preceded by a fake apology. Go on with yourself.

This is troll behavior.

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Posted by: Pumpkins ( )
Date: August 16, 2019 09:11PM

I'm not here anymore because you were here when I needed you and I have moved on, but am so grateful to have found a community that pointed me toward freedom and away from the tyranny of LDS, Inc.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 16, 2019 11:11PM

"It's Pumpkins all the way down!"

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: August 16, 2019 11:16PM

> Requests per day Week of
> Aug 5th, 2019

> Mon 161693
> Wed 144506
> Thu 145886

> At our high a few years ago,
> we averaged around 210,000
> to 220,000 per day with
> occasional forays of 300,000+
> on a major Mormon news item.


I request a count of those same three days, next week. I'm working on a theory and I need the data so that I can manipulate it to serve my needs and thus make founded or unfounded claims, depending on the outcome. For behold, I have already determined the conclusion... That's how things are done in the real world!

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Posted by: Bishop Linsey ( )
Date: August 17, 2019 11:33AM

Too many people here that have more problems than just being exMormon, oppressive moderation, and bullies being allow to operate. There didn't seem to be a place for sanity in the forum.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: August 17, 2019 12:08PM

Oh man, sorry Bishop Linsey, you mean the forum is like a microcosm of life, where people have multiple problems they deal with. I am sorry the forum wasn't for you and did not help you in any way.

I guess maybe you'll have to go on to another forum where people are (hate to say) "perfect" - maybe try a Mormon forum since you're already a Mormon bishop because those people think they're perfect and you would probably fit in better there. Again, sorry this wasn't your cup of tea (pun intended), so perhaps this can be your last post? I would sure appreciate if you take your negativity and superiority complex elsewhere. It's like I told another poster who was bad-mouthing America if you don't like it "get out"...if you don't like the forum move on. It's a no brainer. Stop getting on the site, stop reading, stop commenting - it's so simple. Move on. Otherwise, it makes me think you have emotional problems too...you see what I am saying?

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: August 17, 2019 12:38PM

Well aren't you the cranky one. Your complaints about other people's complaints are about 4 times longer than the complaint you are responding to. Jeez, chill already. Eat more fiber.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: August 17, 2019 12:43PM

Ok, I will if you will.

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Posted by: Dr. No ( )
Date: August 17, 2019 12:49PM

Bishop Linsey Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Too many people here that have more problems than
> just being exMormon, . . .
============================
Literally laughed out loud at this one . . . exmo is problematic, eh
okay get right on it ;-D

Actually, and in all sincerity:
Life is genuinely improved since excising that cancerous tumour of a corporation.
Many others are finding the same.

It's good to be alive.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: August 17, 2019 11:53AM

I echo what others have said above about this forum being a "lifesaver" for myself, and some of my relatives who left the cult with me. We would read the experiences of others, found solace in the fact that others had other similar life experiences. The dynamics and the totality of the forum helped us all a great deal to adjust, shed fear and guilt, and start living for the first time. Mormonism is not living a fulfilled and enjoyable life. I also like the fact that Eric often shares his own enjoyments, hobbies, and interests to us - because it shows what life can be like for a normal person the church. Eric, you are a good man, and I for one really appreciate all that you've done.

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