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Posted by: LJ12 ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 08:28AM

It was August 2009. I only just realised! How time flies. Ten years ago I emailed my resignation letter to my bishop and stake president. Four months later I received confirmation that my daughter’s and my name had been removed from church records; this was after several emails and me threatening legal action. It wasn’t as painful as I’d expected though. Everyone, including family and friends, also ignored the contents of my letter; no surprises there. I didn’t care. I had stood up for myself and for what was right. We escaped. I am so thankful.

Not wanting to celebrate alone, as a slight side note, here is a playlist of songs which have become meaningful to me over time, the theme is celebrating freedom, just for any music lovers out there, and perhaps for anyone transitioning out of it too.

To comply with site rules, there is bound to be explicit language somewhere in the music.

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6n0Npsat_ZKEDpZ1BRWrzkc6QmE2a_S8

Please share any favourite songs you have related to freedom after escaping our former ‘religion’.

I don’t have any ex-mormon friends, just never-mormon and about 3 mormon friends. I will therefore be celebrating my freedom later with a glass or two of red wine with the music blaring.
It was a relief to leave LDS, inc. but, notwithstanding some heartache still caused by my TBM brother and SIL, i have to say: I am SO much happier today than I was ten years ago.

Please share what you did to celebrate your freedom (now and then)?

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 09:33AM

For me, it was more of a lifestyle change, which perhaps is a celebration. I took up fly fishing, starting coaching a girls soccer team that stayed together for 7 years, got back to playing the saxophone and clarinet, which I gave up when I joined the cult, etc. There was never time for those things when one is an active member. Occasionally, when playing at a gig late on a Saturday night, I am grateful I can sleep in on Sunday. Life is so much better.

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Posted by: LJ12 ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 10:42AM

That’s a very positive story. I was amazed at the amount of extra time I had. And once I got past the toxic shame that had been imposed on me for so long, my ability to enjoy things was out of this world by comparison.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 09:54AM

Yes, I celebrate my resignation, too. I moved out of my very mormon neighborhood where I'd lived for 27 years and as soon as I was settled, mailed in the letter. I had no idea who my bishop was and didn't care. I got a letter from him after he was notified of my intentions. He said he would "allow" me to resign. Oh, that made me laugh out loud. He had no idea who I was, yet was acting all "judge in Israel" What a stupid rule.

My two anthems: "Movin On" by Rascal Flatts and "Already Gone" by the Eagles.....this line especially...."so oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we never even know we have the key."

We are free!!!!

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Posted by: LJ12 ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 10:39AM

Thank you, this is awesome. Yes, they are so ‘up’ themselves it’s funny. My stake president delayed the process as a power trip I think much more than him hoping I’d change my mind. Pretty sure my brother had something to do with that too, because they’re friends. Two of my favourite people in the world who don’t understand a thing about me. So sad, but I let it all go anyway.
Like the Eagles song!

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 11:59AM

I know I've heard others over the years, but that one really hit me.

I was inactive for a long time before I resigned. I can't remember how long it has been since I resigned. It was in January and I was trying to make a point with my TBM daughter. The bishop was a friend who I have lived by for over 30 years so I knew he would be someone I could resign with and he'd be good about it.

He showed up on my doorstep on the anniversary of my father's death. He gave me a cinnamon roll (he and his wife are excellent cooks) and told me he wouldn't try to talk me out of it as he had seen some of what I had been through. And that was it. He told me he wouldn't tell anyone and he hasn't. I've had to inform the current bishop that I resigned. I'd say it has probably been less than 10 years. I went inactive when my kids were 8. They are almost 34.

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Posted by: eminion ( )
Date: August 10, 2019 11:17PM

Eagle's "Already Gone" was my theme song, too, though it was already an oldie when I resigned. I've been out for about 10 years, and have forgotten the date on purpose, like I forget the dates of my parents' deaths, or my divorces.

I do celebrate being free, almost every day, though!

Another song I liked was "Go Ask Alice", which describes the new way I saw Mormonism, once I learned the Truth.

All classical music is the sound of freedom to me. I was the ward organist, when the edict came in from SLC, that only Mormon-written music was to be played in church. That was the day music died. After I resigned, music once again became a huge part of my life, but I cringe when I hear Mormon music--brrrrr.

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Posted by: LJ12 ( )
Date: August 11, 2019 06:01AM

It was the similar for me with music. I was the ward music conductor (or whatever it’s called) as well as primary music leader when they found out I was ‘musical’. I didn’t acknowledge it to myself at the time but I really hated it (actually now I think about it, I hated all my callings..no...everything about church) probably because I love so much other music. I can’t live without music and it’s like I felt half dead with all the stuff I wasn’t ‘allowed’ to listen to.

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