What are some good churches, etc? I am a Christian, but I grew up in strict fundie churches and just don't feel comfortable with them. Episcopalians seem too watered down to me. I don't really know which church would be right. I would want something liberal and non judgmental. Idk. Any suggestions?

The things you guys have said have kind of scared me. If someone said something to me about my piercing, I would put him/her in their place for sure. Our church has seemed pretty relaxed, with a lot of tattoos and stuff, but I'm in the south with mostly converts.

There's a Lutheran church here in IA that seems pretty liberal. My mother-in-law attends a Methodist church that she also enjoys. She's a democrat too.

I think you just have to try them on for yourself. Like clothes.

What did we say that scared you?

When I left the LDS church, I found a temporary home with the Methodists and they were everything you describe. I've also heard many positive reviews of Unitarian congregations as well. Stop in on a few, see which one speaks to your needs.

For example, I have been in several Baptist churches and they run the gamut from extremely conservative to fairly liberal. My wife and I currently attend a Methodist church that is fairly middle-of-the-road but I know of other Methodist churches that are quite conservative.

I am suggesting that you visit various churches and talk to the folks and the pastor and you might find a place you would be comfortable. Don't be depressed if your first choice turns out to be a dud in the long range.

To me, one thing that is important is the music. Do they concentrate on 17th century hymns? Do they have modern gospel? Do they have a song leader (especially one who can sing)?

Join if you want but if a church pressures you to join before you are ready, get out fast! You might want to remain in "visitor" status indefinitely and that should be OK. Especially true in some Southern Baptist and similar churches where they baptise new members even if they have been dipped before. Some of those ministers take great personal pride in how many they baptise in a year and turn the screws on new folks to boost their numbers.

BUT you should shop for a minister that suits you.

There are several flavors of Lutheran. Missouri Synod, in my opinion, is wrapped way too tight. I don't have personal experience with other Lutheran brands. My present church is Disciples of Christ. The head minister of the whole denomination is a woman. In my congregation about half the elders and deacons are women (adults, not kids). There is at least one gay deacon. I suppose that would make us liberal. There is a wide range of opinions and interpretations within the congregation. Anybody who shows up can share in communion; you don't have to be a member. This is not typical of most Christian churches, I think. Nobody in the congregation that I know of thinks "we are right and everybody else is wrong." My wife is a Hindu, and the pastor is quite knowledgeable in Hinduism and makes no attempt to convert in his conversions with her.

Some of my favourite thoughts about Religion.....

Religion [...] is the opiate of the masses

Prayer is just a sophisticated method of pleading with thunderstorms

Faith means not wanting to know what is true.

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

If God has made us in his image, we have returned him the favour.

Religion is an illusion and it derives its strength from the fact that it falls in with our instinctual desires.



[and one from me]........ Mormonism made me an atheist

Yes I know what you mean. I'm not sure if Mormonism made me athiest or just brought out what I instinctively suspected all along while searching religion and eventually even trying to gain an LDS testimony.

I couldn't gain a testimony ignoring the facts. How could I gain a testimony when I knew the Book Of Mormon was made up BS and could see right through alot of it it while I read it? Even worse when I discovered how effectively Power,Money and Sex became a major part for Smith's Cr*p?

The end result for me? I came across The God Delusion, read it and gained a testimony of it at once. Richard Dawkins was right all along! lol

I think it's fair to say that athiests just don't accept the versions of God/Truth etc that have been presented to us so far, especially since science and reason has shown them to be ridiculous for the most part.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2010 05:44PM by zeezrom.

I think the best thing is that you simply "shop around." It seems like you've gone to a few Mormon church meetings, and now you can try out a lot of other denominations and see which feels right for you.

That's the best part about NOT being a Mormon. You get to try so many different things until you find what's right for you.

I don't like church, any church. I like to stay home and work on projects on Sunday or just be lazy, or read a good book. That's what spirituality means to me now.

You'll probably find something that suits you just fine with some searching. Most of us just don't want to see you trapped because that's what Mormonism was for us. A big unhappy trap.

In addition to shopping around and visiting different churches, do some homework. Find out what they believe and see if you agree. In many churches, you aren't required to believe in everything, but it helps if you can agree on major points.Another point is that even within a certain denomination there can be a wide variety.

I am an atheist thanks to mormonism. However being an atheist I still agree that folks need a certain amount of socialization. Religious groups are the easiest due to being the most prevalent. There may be some non religious groups to hook up with that will fill your social needs. Can't hurt to check, right?

As long as you find a church that you are completely comfortable with and "does no harm at all of any kind" and if you write a check to them you know exactly where it goes via transparent financial statements provided to you personally if you but ask, then your good to go.

Have fun and enjoy the folks you meet.

Unity Churches (not Unitarian) are very positive and uplifting. If you attend for awhile and then decide to move on to another religion, they'll throw a party for you!

members just want to share and live around a simple faith based on Jesus of the Bible.

I wish in a way that I too could believe in it like I once did.

The LDS church is a lying deceptive and potentially destructive church irrespective of how they try to reason or justify their prosletising methods. The end result is simply to recruit and maintain whatever the costs and tragedy to the individual concerned.

I had a missionary. She was 35 when she came on her mission, baptised at 20 (under pressure). She told me she liked coming to church and only got baptised because she thought she might get chucked out, she admitted to me she didn't know if she was baptising for herself/belief etc or because the missionaries and church members wanted her to?

It took a further two years before she started finding out about Polygamy. Milk before Meat! She did her Temple Endowment (Plageurised Masonic Initiation RItual) at age 28 I think. It took that long to 'condition' her ready for the Secret Handshakes and swear allegiance to the cult and its leaders.

When I told her about Joseph Smith putting his face in a hat with a garden stone to 'translate' which came to be called the Urim and Thummim, she didn't believe me at first.

After a few more facts I presented to her to explain why I was struggling with it, eventually she said " If the church isn't true then my life is destroyed".

That summed it up for me what ordinary sincere members face when they realise they have been duped, deceived and misled. It's not nice and the LDS church should be held to account at every opportunity for it.

I'm now effectively shunned but when I showed interest in Mormonism as an Investigator I was the most amazing person in the world and a privilage to know and her purpose for the mission.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2010 06:01PM by zeezrom.

You can spend your "church" time doing important and enjoyable stuff. Most museums, zoological parks, nature preserves, botanical gardens and such have Docent (volunteer teacher) programs that can be most rewarding. They even train you. Just bring your talents and skills, no matter what level, and they'll show you how to have fun with your bad self. Or you can do the traditional soup kitchen, nursing home or hospital thangs which are equally satisfying.

Mentoring can be a real blast. There's all kinds of cool stuff you can do and make a difference doing so. What you got in this life? Maybe 90 years, tops? ... God can wait!

Timothy



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2010 06:06PM by Timothy.

I also recommend visiting different churches, and one denomination that I found that is very accepting is the United Church of Christ, as one I went to had a lesbian running the service. I've also heard great things about the UU church, so that might also be one to check out. My local UU church is about a mile down the street from the local Mormon chapel.

The thing that I like about visiting other churches is that they don't send people to your home and pressure you to join like the Mormon church does. As I mentioned in another thread, other churches require potential members to take at least a year's worth of classes and make sure that one is joining only because they want to, and not because of pressure from others.

For the most part, I prefer to spend my Sundays doing other things than sitting in any church, especially if it's a nice sunny day. I also have some nice farmer's markets and a monthly flea market that are only held on Sundays. I especially love to read the Sunday paper or a good book while drinking coffee,

The current area you're in might seem relaxed but what happens if you move and are in different ward boundaries? There might not be as many laid back converts or you might get stuck with a rigid bishop. Plus, once you're not a new convert anymore people EXPECT you to know what the rules are and how you should look and behave. I'm just saying, that's how it is.

As far as churches, nothing says you have to "join" one. You can just go as you like, visit various churches and see how you feel overall about them. Really you shouldn't have to do anything to attend a church besides show up and see if you like it.

If you want a really liberal and relaxed church try the Unitarian Universalist church. I have been going there since leaving Mormonism and I love it. The people are friendly, you can wear whatever you want (piercings, flip flops, tank tops, jeans, dresses, etc) and they are very accepting of all people (gay, straight, bi, minorities, liberals). If you want more of a strong Christian church then just scout them out locally and see what you like.

We are only trying to be honest with you so you don't have any regrets. Most of us converts on here wish we had someone tell us what to really expect when "joining" the LDS church. You deserve more disclosure than what you are getting from the missionaries.

If you don't join...you will have time to read between the lines in the New Testament and to ponder the quotes (ostensibly) from Jesus. You will notice there's a theme to them and then, suddenly here and there, a jarring quote quite out of context that your gut says, "mmmm, that doesn't sound like him."

If you don't join...you will have time to read and meditate deeply, time to process your issues and learn to read your own magnetic bs dial. You can develop faith in your own intuition to replace the faith in the priesthood. You can read books on critical thinking so you are better able to guide your own life instead of relying on brethren doing the thinking for you.

The need to join something may be a holdover from the hive mentality. I agree with those who suggest you give it a rest. Go on the spirituality diet before trying on churches to see which one fits. Find out more about yourself--and that takes time. For socialization, join the Y and get in shape while taking interesting classes that have nothing to do with the Plan of Salvation. Exercise helps keep you in the NOW.

And you can learn how to eat healthy so you feel better and have more energy. With that energy you can volunteer in the community and meet normal people doing the same thing who don't want to talk about all-things-religion-24-7. You'll meet people with balanced lives without Mormonism ruddering everything and you will get ideas that way. I volunteer at a thrift store that benefits developmentally disabled and I love it. The volunteers are now my friends and they hire the disabled and treat them like they are valuable--and to see how proud they are of "my job"--it's just the antidote for the negative view of Babylon (the "worldly") and other religions (all no good) that you've been fed.

What I'm saying is that you might find it helpful to detox from your brainwashing before stepping into another form of "pay me and I'll lead you" situation. Whatever you decide church-wise, you will at least be choosing freely and not from a sense of loss or a void left from pervasive Mormonism.

Best of luck to you and if you like these recovery ideas and want more, or if you have a question, feel free to contact me at anagrammy at gmail.

I wouldn't rush into joining and I would see it as a red flag if you start getting pressured. Most mainline churches won't pressure you. In fact they will require that you take classes before joining. I would take my time, shop around, study and be selective. You need to figure out what is right for you and that could take some time.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/28/2010 09:28PM by Timothy.

Catholic and Episcopal. Catholics make you attend for almost a year. I assume other churches do too.

I have a friend who was raised in Bill Gothard's church (It's the minister that the Duggars follow). A really HARDCORE environment. When she got out of that, she searched around a lot and really liked the Unitarian Universalist church, even though she still identifies as a christian. Sometimes she goes to the Lutheran church and likes that, too. Unfortunately for her, her upbringing left a bad taste in her mouth when it comes to christians as a group (not followers of christ), so she prefers the openness and spirituality of the UUA church.

My sister was married by a United Methodist minister, and he was very nice. Very open and come-as-you-are. In fact, she met him because he was the minister at a wedding she had attended, a gay wedding. I have heard good things about United Methodist, though I really don't know much about them. You might want to check that out.

Finally, I have a friend who is a pastor at a "community church" and it's one of those worship team, music ministries types of things. I don't know the technical term for the denomination, maybe someone else here knows the term. Anyway, even though he's the head of the church, he has shaggy hair, a goatee, tattoos, he dresses more like a musician than a minister. He's a cool guy with some really cool views of the world and religion. He's deeply christian, but very philosophical about spirituality.

I don't have any first-hand experience to share about post-mo church preferences, as I am deeply atheist. However, maybe if you tell us where you are, someone can weigh in on the religious climate at various churches in your area (or region if you prefer).

My Methodist pastor has a wife and daughters with tatoos that are visible. I would call that liberal. He is a cool pastor. Many mainstream Protestant religions are more liberal than you would think. My pastor doesn't push one political thing on us. He lets us use our own mind. I would investigate several and go at least 4 times to each. Any pastor can have an off day or be on vacation or some trip for the congregation. You need to hear them preach a few times. they do not pressure you in joining. It is so different than Mormons who hound you. Good luck.

Ultimately, the best religion, church or even lack there of is the one that best reflect your core beliefs. There is nothing that says you have to decide right away, so take your time investigate lots of options, even those that you were not born into.

If you look at faiths and belief systems you were not born into then eventually decide to stay Christian, at least you would know it was based on some investigation and that you were not just accepting what you were raised with.

the place to go.

out

You want a church, so maybe shopping around would be a good choice. I think people spend more time shopping for clothes, cars, homes than they do the church in which they plan to spend our whole lives. I did.


I am at a point where I personally do not like religion of any brand, so even the generic church won't do for me--but if I were ever to want to go to one, I'd be shopping around.

Is that in any church you look at, check to see what kinds of services they have. Many churches have both a "traditional" and a "contemporary" service. The biggest difference is probably in the music.

Depending on the church, the traditional service will have organ music, 100-300 year old hymns, and a lot of rituals in the way things are done. Probably a few people wearing suits and dresses, but not a necessity, and you wouldn't be looked down on if you didn't. The contemporary would have a praise band (guitars, keyboard, drums, etc.) playing music you would typically hear on KLOVE (national radio station). Dress will be mostly casual.

The message [sermon] by the pastor would be the same at both, the difference is in what happens around it. Entire service will be about an hour (about 20 minute message) so that other 40 minutes of the type of music, etc. needs to be what fits your preference.

So in any church you look at, make sure to ask if they have different kinds of services, and attend the one that is for you.

I'd suggest trying out several churches, like many of the churches suggested above, and find one that works for you. Don't just settle with the first one you try. Also make sure you do your research to make sure it's not cult like.

Personally, I'm an atheist, but I like the Universal Unitarian churches. They emphasize all the good qualities from every world philosophy without the guilt. It's much more of a community meeting to find ways to better yourself and the community. Of course, each congregation is different though.

Best of luck to you.

Turn off your mind, relax
and float down stream
It is not dying
It is not dying

Lay down all thought
Surrender to the void
It is shining
It is shining

That you may see
The meaning of within
It is being
It is being

That love is all
And love is everyone
It is knowing
It is knowing

That ignorance and hate
May mourn the dead
It is believing
It is believing

But listen to the
color of your dreams
It is not living
It is not living

Or play the game
existence to the end
Of the beginning
Of the beginning
Of the beginning
Of the beginning
Of the beginning
Of the beginning

Lennon/McCartney

You can worship however you see fit. You can go to most churches, not mormon, and accept the things you like and leave the things you don't.

How about Scientology?......They seem pretty normal.