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Posted by: memikeyounot ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 01:45PM

....whose cousin died this week.

My daughter was married and is now divorced from an odd guy whose whole family of 4 brothers and his parents are odd. One of the brothers had 3 kids from his current wife, plus a few from the first. They had a 9 year old son who had some type of seizure disease and they found him dead when they went to wake him up for school on Monday.

My daughter has 2 kids, a 10year old boy and a 7year old girl and they were friends with the boy who died because they lived in the same area, and they liked playing with him and his little sister.

I want to send my grandkids an email or a sympathy card just for them. I don’t want to make it religious-y since they are only sort of church related currently. I googled the subject and everything I found was based on sympathy for the parents of the young man but not for cousins that died, especially young ones.

Any ideas?

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 02:03PM

Why not skip the pre-fabricated cards and just go with an email or a personal note in a generic card. Just say exactly what you feel: you know they were close to the cousin and that his death must be very painful. The child was fortunate to have them as relatives/friends as they were to have him. As painful as this is, they will always have and cherish what they shared with him and you admire their generosity, love and strength.

I think your heartfelt sympathy would be much more meaningful than anything like a Hallmark card.

LW

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Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 02:11PM

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why not skip the pre-fabricated cards and just go
> with an email or a personal note in a generic
> card. Just say exactly what you feel: you know
> they were close to the cousin and that his death
> must be very painful. The child was fortunate to
> have them as relatives/friends as they were to
> have him. As painful as this is, they will always
> have and cherish what they shared with him and you
> admire their generosity, love and strength.
>
> I think your heartfelt sympathy would be much more
> meaningful than anything like a Hallmark card.


These are my feelings as well.

Your sincerely empathetic words will be deeply important to your grandkids.

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Posted by: nonmo_1 ( )
Date: November 09, 2019 08:58AM

"Your sincerely empathetic words will be deeply important to your grandkids."

I agree completely. I would call them on the phone.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 03:21PM

Yes. I have a bank of blank cards with beautiful images on them and write my own message. They are much nicer than a Hallmark as they are more personal.

Remember when you are at a loss for words, that opening a card and knowing you care is worth everything no matter what you write.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 05:05PM

I do that, too.

Ironically, I was once studying in a foreign country where they manufactured Hallmark cards. The company hired intelligent young Americans to come up with the messages that were printed inside. But when a few of us thought up really nice things, we were asked to tone it down. Apparently the printed statements are supposed to be banal so they don't detract from what the customers write.

In any case, I never buy those things now. Like you, I have stacks of blank cards with paintings by Vermeer, Sargent, Hopper, Asian artists, etc. I love writing my own thoughts and sending those to people. In a day when no one uses pen and paper anymore, those personalized notes make an impression. And there is the joy that comes with sharing art with others!

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 08:22PM

What a cool idea! I especially love Vermeer.

Where do you find cards like this?? I don't shop much, any more, but would love browsing in a store where they had cool cards.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 09:17PM

Oh man, you've got me going!

When I travel for business, I always build in a day or so for theater, music, and museums. The great museums all have bookshops with superb quality notecards. One of the best, in my opinion, is the Boston Museum of Fine Art; another is the Metropolitan in NYC. You can't go wrong with their offerings. But even Amazon has a great selection.

Thus. . .

https://www.mfashop.org/notecards3.html

https://store.metmuseum.org/stationery-art-supplies/all-stationery-art-supplies?product_type_met=1062

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=museum+note+cards&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_oP0xIbc5QIVDtVkCh3grAwXEAAYAiAAEgJeF_D_BwE&hvadid=174267634502&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9031915&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=e&hvrand=7636032874613831617&hvtargid=kwd-19316335637&hydadcr=24658_9648989&tag=googhydr-20&ref=pd_sl_3b1abe9mod_e

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Posted by: memikeyounot ( )
Date: November 08, 2019 04:03PM

Thanks for the suggestions. I just wrote a short paragraph and showed it to their mama, and she said it would be fine. The 10 year old has a tablet and his mom texts to him regularly so we used that!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2019 04:04PM by memikeyounot.

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: November 09, 2019 02:14AM

Good ideas. How thoughtful to consider the boy's cousins. This will mean a lot to your grandkids.

I use the blank cards, too.

I never have a problem with sympathy/funeral cards, because there is always a lot to say about the deceased, and a few good memories to share, and some of them can be humorous. A card can be filled with love.

I have never felt a need to mention the hereafter or any religious myths, at all. I concentrate on the person's life.

There is comfort in remembering a cherished friend or relative. I always found it upsetting to visualize those souls waiting in line for permission to enter various kingdoms, being judged that nasty polygamist JS, being herded around like minions in a cult. Heaven is so much more than that--but whatever people believe, they just don't know. Gag, the latest website comment I read was for my recently deceased sister-in-law, and the person wrote, "She will be reunited with her husband, and they will be missionary companions again, in the hereafter."

Mention life and love, and Mormonism has absolutely nothing to do with either.

How tragic for the boy's family! I think you are doing all you can do to help.

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