Date: December 02, 2019 07:40PM
There are four (?) temple ceremonies:
1. baptisms for the dead.
Those souls who died without the opportunity to be baptized while here on earth MUST be baptized by proxy before ghawd gets to wrap up this phase of existence, meaning the use of the Earth as a place where his spiritual children (born of all his many, many wives [yes, it does beg the question, 'why don't eternal humans, made of flesh and bone have flesh and bone babies?]) can descend from on-high to get physical bodies. This is a big, big number! And they ALL are going to get proxy dunked, by kids between 12 and 17! They have to be dressed in white, thus your pink & brown nippleage may vary.
2. taking out one's endowments
This is now a very tame ceremony, compared to when I had to mime seppuku, as well as slitting my throat. What a rush! But one still does learn secret handshakes and one gets a secret name. But no more five points of fellowship, although I think some old geezer once tried to create six points of fellowship, the ol' perve! What's really cool about this ceremony, which you do for yourself once and then as a proxy for all those proxy baptisms the kids are doing, is that you get to learn something new each time you do it! People say so and why would we doubt them? I once thought that while the ceremony is quite rote, that it was the time you could spend in the Celestial Room that allowed you to commune with the spirits, but I was always hustled the hell out; no loitering in the Celestial Room!
3. Temple Marriage
Marriage for all time and eternity. I did this after meeting a coed at BYU in late October, getting engaged during X-mas vacation, after a day at Disneyland, and then tying the knot in the St. George temple the day after classes ended the following May. These marriages are executed (a word I chose to create a mood) after completing an endowment ceremony, in a Sealing Room, where, unless you're a big-wig's kid, a guy you never met before says some rote verbiage while the two of you are kneeling across from each other with a narrow upholstered ledge between you and while he's saying what he's got to say, you're thinking if it would be okay after the ceremony to ask people to leave the Sealing Room, while you close the door and deflower your virgin on that upholstered ledge. Virginity... But mostly you have to wait until you get to the parking lot.
4. Second Anointing (also known in my house as the Second Annoying)
You may have read the recent thread on this. You have to be popular, you know, like a cheerleader or first-team varsity on a sports team that matters. Track? Nope. The 2nd Annoying is a perk; some people know about it and keep hoping for it and others are clueless until they get word to show up at a temple to meet with an apostle on a SUNDAY!! The apostle does holy things to the guy's feet and then the anointed couple lay on their backs with the soles of their feet pressed together and hum a John Denver song...No wait, that's a Kurt Vonnegut novel... But it's close to that... It's holier than hell!!
Here's a link to a list of YouTube videos that show undercover videos of two of the ceremonies. I entered the temple a Mormon and came out of the temple a mormon, convinced that there was no way mormonism had any kind of a connection with a deity.https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=mormon+temple+ceremony