Fifty-seven years ago today, I lost my father to the same disease his grandson is now on dialysis for.

I can remember thinking as I watched the funeral home people take him away that from now on, there would be nobody to run interference between me and my domineering mother. He was a kind and gentle person, and I will never know what he saw in her. But there is no question that there was a very deep love between the two of them.

She was absolutely crushed by his death, tried to self-medicate with alcohol, and became even more wretched to live with. There was little, if any, genuine affection between Mother and me. We got along much better after I moved far away.

I wish I could believe that I will see my Dad again, one day.

I feel the same way about seeing my Dad.

I live somewhat in fear that cancer will be the end of me as it was my wife. I quit smoking 36 years ago but I've always had the fear that it will come back to haunt me. My dad died from pneumonia at 90 and my birth mom from a stroke at 84....so there's that too.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2019 08:46PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

You may not “see” your dad again.

But know that he is alive, living in you, and you’ve provided us all a small glimpse of him.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, catnip. That sucks. I miss my Mom, who passed away in 2013. I'd love to believe in the cosmic reunion, too.

{{{Hugz}}}

I hope the very best possible for you, catnip, and for your father's grandson [your son?].

I am sorry.

My son's kidneys shut down at age 42, just like his grandfather's did. But now, there is ESRD Medicare, which pays for dialysis and ultimately, renal transplant.

Due to genetic weirdness, the ailment is far more severe in males than in females.

But we *might* see them. If there is a Hereafter, Mormonism doesn’t own it. They don’t own God, and they never owned my Dad.

I lost both my parents about 11 years ago. They died 2 months apart and I'm halfway between those 2 months. I've missed them a lot lately. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about them.

I'm glad that you have a good husband to be a support for you after all you've been through.

Catnip, you talked about your sorrow that you son inherited kidney disease from your dad through you (if I’ve interpreted what you said correctly). I know how you feel. I passed along high triglyceride to my boys. Two of them can get their numbers down in the 1,100s only with medication. They can be described as “walking heart attacks” like my grandfather who died in his 30s. I am certain that your son wouldn’t have a different mom if he were given a choice. From all your writings here, I’d say he’s pretty lucky to have you. So much we didn’t know when we had these sons. So much our parents didn’t know when they had us.

If I had known in the mid-Seventies what I know now about this kidney ailment, I would NOT have had children. Absolutely not. And I did try to find out about it. But I didn't even know then that the disease had a name, let alone anything about the hereditary patterns.

But I would have missed out on a wonderful relationship with a brave, loving, and talented son, not to mention my way-beyond-enchanting granddaughters.