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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 05:12PM

Since Brother Wendy declared the M word offensive to god and a victory for stan, what is new church p-r campaign to woo friends to be baptized?

-Meet the members of the billionaire's club?

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: January 10, 2020 05:47PM

I love this ^

Money seems to have more clout than sanity or love.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 11, 2020 06:57PM

"Hi, I'm a Saint. What do you know about Saints? Would you like to know more?

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 10:31AM

Did you catch the Vikings game? I was super bummed. New Orleans is one of my favorite cities.

Oh--what "Saints" did YOU mean? MORMONS?

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Posted by: Phil in Roy ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 11:50AM

You are Simon Templar? I think you got the Robbing from the rich and giving to the poor bass ackwards.

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 10:28AM

ChurchCo should partner with Dunkin' (formerly Dunkin' Donuts). Dunkin' could install baptismal fonts in their bathrooms, and the Church can station priesthood holders at the entrance to catch people as they come in. The pitch would be, "Come get dunked at Dunkin'! Just don't have any coffee after, or ever again."



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2020 10:35AM by Anziano Young.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 11:32AM

And get a free dozen for joining.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 11:38AM

I'd join.

I'd join once a week!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 11:54AM

Just think how many donuts a 100 billion could buy.

The church should at least hold a donut party after the Saturday Priesthood Session so women don't have to make donuts. IT would be a very small line item on the Stake budget.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 01:15PM

but what would the wymen do while their menfolks & 12 y.o. boys are attending to the Important stuff:

- Blessing PURE olive oil

- listening to boring talks, re-hashing what they heard a few weeks earlier?

- networking about MLMs, investments (Ponzi), other business & occupational issues

- HOW ABOUT THE JAZZ !! did you see their game the other night???



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2020 01:44PM by GNPE.

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 04:22PM

Hey yeah--donuts after services are a pretty standard thing in Protestant and Catholic churches. I wonder why ChurchCo, in their rush to mainstream themselves, hasn't started doing "donut hour" (no icky coffee hour, you heathens) after sacrament meetings as a way to attract people?

Aside from that costing money and making people a little bit happier, I mean.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 06:27PM

Anziano Young Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Aside from that costing money and making people a
> little bit happier, I mean.

Their gospel and not donuts are supposed to do that. Giving them donuts would distract from true happiness.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 11:57AM

Some disgruntled artsy Mormon should make a documentary titled, "When we were The Mormons" detailing how far from basic humanity Mormonism as a religious organization has fallen for the average member.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 12:49PM

Since every Mormon I know just says, "The Church" assuming everyone will know they mean 'that' church, the one true church that could only be their church, I suspect that is how they will refer to themselves since saying the full name of their church is like saying Sally Sells Sea Shells on the Shore.

The word Mormon for the masses summoned a lot of negative images from homophobia, prop 8, and misogyny, anti ERA, to annoying missionaries to hilarious musicals where BoM's are shoved where the sun don't shine, and topped off with cute temple outfits, and two Mormons even designing torture techniques for Guantanamo. What could they do but ditch it?

Name couldn't be salvaged. However, going generic was about the lamest move ever in a society where everyone wears their labels on the outside, often gold plated and bedazzled.

Generic is good for ED pills maybe, but not so much for churches. "The Church", like all churches, needs a gimmick.

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Posted by: RRman6013 ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 01:25AM

Done & Done Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Since every Mormon I know just says, "The Church"
> assuming everyone will know they mean 'that'
> church, the one true church
========================================================
As a lapsed Catholic, I can tell you with dead certainty that Catholics also say "the Church", capitalization and all.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 07:34PM

Meet the don't call us Mormons (that's a victory for satan) but would you like a free copy of the Book of Mormon?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 09:25PM

Meet the don't call us Mormons anymore. A sequel is definitely needs to splain things.

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 10:14PM

Shinehah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Meet the don't call us Mormons (that's a victory
> for satan) but would you like a free copy of the
> Book of ______?

Alternative titles for the Book of Mormon, since we can't use that word anymore:
-Book of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
-Book of the Artist Formerly Known as Mormon
-Book of Anonymous
-Book of Well, Actually, It's Another Testament of Jesus Christ
-Book of I Don't Know That We Ever Taught That

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 15, 2020 12:34PM

The Book of More Men.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 15, 2020 02:58PM

The Book of Moroni's Dad

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 15, 2020 03:35PM

Love it.

The Book of More Dads, and more dads, and more dads, all the way up to the...nope more dads.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: January 15, 2020 04:26PM

Meet the Members.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 01:28AM

That second "m" is so. . . unnecessary!

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