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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 11:32AM

The so called "brethren" are not being good brothers if they don't donate some cash...like in the tune of billions to Australia. They could literally donate 5 billion and it would be would be nothing for them to so. I know this is a sore point with them because they worry about recouping donated funds, so I am just trying to help them with ideas on recouping. They would still have 95,000,000,000 in their coffers.

I started thinking of ways in which have not tried yet. Right now church members clean toilets, go without heat in their chapels, missionaries pay their own way, and even Tommy Monson tried to guilt people into paying "twice a tithe" one time in a GC address.

I am having trouble thinking of ways the brethren can further tax church members and get it all back. Do you have any ideas not already covered by the cult?

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 04:41PM

1. Parking meters in the lot.

2. Sell food in the cultural hall right after F&T meeting (food donated by members, of course).

3. I was going to say pay toilets in the restrooms, but with members doing the cleaning, this wouldn't be too successful.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 04:42PM

[|] Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 3. I was going to say pay toilets in the
> restrooms, but with members doing the cleaning,
> this wouldn't be too successful.

I'm seeing a Ward Budget revenue stream here. Also pay for parking, cult-ural hall use. Give said the little stream, give oh, give!

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 05:21PM

Put a "sin" jar in the bishops office.

Every time one of these happens, that person has to put $1 in the sin jar on Sunday.....

- Show up to church in a non-white shirt.
- Said a curse word at home during the week.
- Surfed the internet while in church meetings.
- Make a mistake saying the sacrament prayer.
- Laughed really loud.
- Didn't read your scriptures every day.
- Didn't bear your testimony in fast and testimony meeting.
- Didn't watch every conference session.
- Didn't have family prayer.
- Didn't have couples prayer.
- Didn't have personal prayer.
- Didn't bless the food.
- Skipped going to church.
- Watched an R rated movie.
- Wore a dress that showed your shoulders.
- Ate meat when there was no famine.
- Drank green tea.
- Didn't do your ministering.
- Didn't shun someone that should have been shunned.
- Didn't name your kids after Book of Mormon characters.
- Didn't enjoy sitting in church meetings (this one is the cash cow).
- Didn't go to the temple.
- Didn't invite your non-mormon friends to learn more about the church.
- Have gay parents.
- Have a non-member spouse.

- etc......so many things they do could generate a lot of cash.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 05:25PM

Hahahahahaha...love it.

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 05:27PM

Sell indulgences - it worked for that other church.

Didn't do your ministering? $10
Said a naughty word? $25
Masturbated? $250
Looked at porn? $1,000
Adultery? Forgiven for $10,000

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 05:24PM

These are great. I thought maybe:

4. Church could charge special surcharge on children since they are "gifts" from Heavenly Father, and even charge for pets (i.e. like 5 bucks per year per kid/dog/cat).

5. Members could pay for Sacrament seating location, with coveted front row seats toward the front of the chapel..nothing major like 50 cents per row. Basically they could have like a money slot that would open the pew when the coins are inserted.

6. Members could begin paying for ordinances such as the Temple Wedding ceremony and child baptisms (e.g. $100 per ceremony to help pay for utilities, etc)

Just so many things the "brethren" could do that they aren't doing now.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 05:35PM

Members under the poverty income get a tithing break for each additional child they have.

5 percent instead of 10 percent with an additional percent per children over 5 children under 18 up to complete tithing exemption.

https://aspe.hhs.gov/poverty-guidelines

Also, they could give tithing breaks for maintenance of the church which would be almost like paying for janitorial services.


But they would never veer from money over people because of "blessings." God don't want your dirty chicken and potatoes anymore.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2020 05:35PM by Elder Berry.

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 05:48PM

Like political fundraisers with candidates. Whenever GAs come to town, give members the chance to attend a reception with the man. Cost varies with the level of authority.

Seventy? $100 to attend, $250 for a picture.
Apostle? $1000 to attend, $2500 for a picture.
The profit himself? $5000 to attend, $10,000 for a picture. For $100,000 he will autograph the picture - personally - no signature machine.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 05:40PM

Is is the goal of the ecclesiastical heirarchy to line their pocket with ill gotten gains provided by members of the clan.
It is not their goal to aid and abet in any way that diminishes their accessability to money!!!!!!!
So has it been written!
So has it been done!!!

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 06:49PM

My research finds that missionaries don't pay there own way. The church is putting out big bucks to keep the program afloat.

https://www.standard.net/top-most-least-expensive-lds-church-missions/article_43e0f362-ee89-533e-a762-6ed9e91fa431.html

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 07:01PM

Do you think they pay more than 1 billion per year?

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 11:25PM

Maybe not a billion, but could be about $500 million.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 12:04PM

Interesting. Which do you think is more temple building and maintenance or missionary work?

These are probably the only "charitable" line items running into million and millions of dollars in taking their dividends and investment earnings.

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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: January 13, 2020 07:13PM

-Most churches have coffee after the sermon. The Morg could have a water and cookie spread for $5 a head with sherbet punch and cupcakes available in a VIP area for $15 a head. Drinks and food are NOT bottomless, though.

-Take a leaf out of Jim Bakker's book and start selling Second Coming Bags. They're like the Apocalypse buckets, but flimsier and filled with crappy wheat instead of crappy food.

-Make EVERY Sunday a Fast Sunday. Get more money from Fast Offerings and the members blood sugar will be too low to put up an effective resistance.

-Reveal that H.F. has commanded that all faithful Mormons must withdraw all their money from worldly banks and keep their money with the Salt Lake City Anti-Bank. Absolutely not like the Kirtland Anti-Bank at all.*


*It would totally be like the Kirtland Anti-Bank.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 14, 2020 02:38AM

How much would one have to 'donate' to the sin jar for (GASP) having sex (with spouse OF COURSE!) without your garmies on?

and

How much for swimming, other exercise and not putting your garmies on IMMEDIATELY after ending said experience/event?

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