Date: January 14, 2020 05:02AM
My husband really disliked the Mormon cult, after he studied his way out, and discovered all the lies. He refused to give them one more dime. He didn't want me and the children to go, but realized all of us would have been dis-owned by his parents. Mormons really do punish those who leave.
We made an agreement: I would pay tithing on my own income, but he would not pay any tithing on his. I wanted to keep going to church with our children, and he promised to stop bad-mouth the church (especially to the children), not prevent their being baptized, and not to give us a hard time or interfere with our attending. In return, I was to not try to convince him to return, or bad-mouth him for playing golf on Sunday, or vilify him (especially to the children). I was to excuse him from all church activities, Scouts, Christmas and other parties, kids performances, etc, without argument. I thought this was fair, as I believe that one adult didn't have the right to dominate another.
This worked--for him! He did what he wanted to do. He never manipulated the children away at meeting time. On Sundays, we would go to the beach or out for fun, after the 3 hours of meetings were over. Sometimes, he would have a barbecue ready for us, when we got home from church. Thus, he was rewarding us for coming home, for going out together as a family, and the time outside of Mormonism was so much more pleasant. We dreaded getting dressed up and going to church, and we couldn't wait until it was over, and we could get on with the fun parts of life. My children loved school, and I loved volunteering in the schools, much more than at church.
So--we were gently led away from that oppressive, negative, soul-sucking cult.
Yes, it's true that a Mormon wife with an inactive husband is a social outcast, and also perceived as lacking in faith. I was blamed for my husband being inactive. We were no longer invited to the family and couples' activities with the Mormons, outside of church as well as outside of church. The children and I had better friends in the schools and in the community. My Mormon in-laws became unbearable, with all their nagging and criticizing. The ward overworked me with too many callings. Some of the Mormon men in our ward were slimy, and full-of-themselves, and they tried to hit on me, because I was a lone woman, without a man, and they thought I might be an easy target. Likewise, without a protective father there, my children became victims of physical abuse--by adult fathers in the ward.
My husband just sat by, and left us open to whatever that cult wanted to do to us, (I didn't tell him about a lot of it) and within two years, the children and I were OUT OF THERE. The Mormons shot themselves in the foot, as far as we were concerned.
You are a wonderful, supportive husband, and there's no reason to not continue to support your wife, in every other aspect of her life. Make your marriage and children the priority, and LOVE, and appreciation, happiness, adventure, fun, and all those positive things that Mormonism kills. There are so many other things you can do together, other than just go to church. Work hard to keep the cult in perspective. It's nothing but a silly hoax, and should not be as important as it pretends it is.
Start by NOT paying them any more money!