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Posted by: wowza ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 02:27AM

So mormons are striving to make it to the celestial kingdom. According to them the resurrection of Jesus saved everyone from death. Every Christian, Muslim, Hindu, etc. all good....

But, only Mormons can reach super VIP heaven. And even most of them won't make it.


Is that the clue? Is the fact that most don't make it mean that really its only the 2nd anointed that make the cut to "Godhood"?

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Posted by: Tom Phillips ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 05:16AM

You can make it to the CK without the 2nd Anointing. You just have to wait until you die for that judgement. For those who receive the 2A, their judgement is assured (unless, like me, they commit the unpardonable sin).

Also remember that the 2A extends to the anointed ones progeny. So, their children, grand children etc. do not need it.

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Posted by: Wowza ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 06:37AM

That whole progeny thing adds a new wrinkle. I guess if you are great, your kids are guaranteed to be good as well. lol

No wonder so many LDS parents feel guilt when their kids leave. Clearly it <<<IS>>> something wrong and the parents falling short.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 12:56PM

Tom Phillips Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Also remember that the 2A extends to the anointed
> ones progeny. So, their children, grand children
> etc. do not need it.

I'm the great grandson of Hugh Brown a First Presidency guy and his wife was the granddaughter of Brigham Young. Does that mean no one in my family needs a 2A? News to me.

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Posted by: Tom Phillips ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 03:41PM

That is correct according to 'Prophets'. But remember Elder Berry, it is all made up nonsense. It is a hoax.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 04:03PM

“it is all made up nonsense. It is a hoax.”

That’s a nice summation.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 04:32PM

Yes, it is. The interesting thing is my family doesn't know it is "saved" that I'm aware of. ;)

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 04:08PM

OMG!!! You stood up before Bednar?!?!?!

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 04:14PM

So for all those descendants of Patty Bartlet Sessions (basically half the folks from Davis County) had her second annointing 3 july 1867.

I'm 5 generations away. Am I covered?

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Posted by: shakinthedust ( )
Date: January 24, 2020 08:42PM

Tom, the unpardonable sin is denying the Holy Ghost, right? I never understood what that is supposed to mean.

I was never sure if I felt the Holy Ghost or not, and I don't think I'm alone. So how can one deny it?

BTW, I have so much admiration and respect for you, thank you.

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Posted by: azsteve ( )
Date: January 24, 2020 11:19PM

Does that mean that if Adam would have gotten his 2nd Annointing while on earth, that all of humanity would be covered?

Isn't that kind of like blessing your groceries when you get them home from the store because you're too lazy to say a blessing on the food at every meal?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/24/2020 11:23PM by azsteve.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 05:53AM

It's like you are all on the same flight going to the same destination, but the 2A people used their miles/"status" for a set of 1st class reserved seats, and you and yours got standby middle seats in coach. But it's all good!

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Posted by: azsteve ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 06:22AM

Since mormonism is a hoax anyone, no one goes to CK and the question is irrelevant.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 11:57AM

Wait...Mormonism is hoax?

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 04:32PM

Ted Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Wait...Mormonism is hoax?


Yeah! If it's a hoax, how come it's so rich?

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 19, 2020 09:10PM

'Tis a puzzlement.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 06:50PM

You can buy respectability in this world with money.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 07:37PM

Yes, but Mormonism comes close to invalidating that observation for things are not moving in the church's favor!

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Posted by: macaRomney ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 09:31AM

mormonism as taught by the leadership is all about a gospel of works. Doing this, doing that, paying tithing, temples, cleaning toilets. But like in most religions what the pastor teaches and what the members believe are completely separate. These discrepancies must be infuriating for cult priests. On the one hand there are leaders preaching that everyone is going to hell unless they believe in their form of salvation and on the other hand people are mindlessly minding their own business, believing they and all their kin are just as good as the pastor and going to heaven.

It's a constant struggle for any church leadership to keep the pawns scared, and obedient.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 10:12AM

It throws out the 2nd article of faith out of the window, doesn't it?

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 04:06PM

We’ll be punished only for our own sins, but we can be rewarded for our grandparents deeds. Sounds like a sweet deal for some people.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 10:14AM

NOT LIKE I WANT TO! I'm my aunt's favorite niece. So everything I do and have done won't matter?

My cousin and her husband are MP and wife in South America. Just before they left, their only son and his wife announced to their parents that they no longer believe and have left the church. So their parents don't have to worry as they get a free ticket, so the family should just leave them alone about PREACHING. I'm sure his grandfather has ordered him back to church (he ordered me back to church and he isn't even a blood relative).

It is all such crazy making.

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Posted by: celeste ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 09:17PM

So do all MPs get the 2A?

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Posted by: Tom Phillips ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 04:34AM

No, not all. A MP who had just finished his mission had it the same time as me.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 10:29AM

I was taught in the LDS church that you had to do your best to be perfect on Earth. That after you did everything humanly possible that you had to pray and hope that you would be JUDGED to be deemed worthy enough to enter into the celestial glory.

It was even discussed/speculated that god's mouthpiece/foot stool on Earth (the prophet) was not automatically guaranteed to enter the CK.

Now you will understand why some of us are so angry that the church has been secretly giving certain members their sure election in the temple. If the church leaders weren't embarrassed by this wouldn't they be openly talking about it?

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 10:32AM

we'd be "exposed" to the sacred happenings in the temple and WE WERE WRONG. They still have secrets.

I do remember being taught about "calling and election being made sure," but the idea was that there were very few, if any, who achieved that on earth.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 12:09PM

Remember, going to the CK is still Joey's call.

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Posted by: esias ( )
Date: January 17, 2020 04:30PM

That depends. Mainly on whether you pull off the handshake right when you arrive at the Pearly Gates of uptown Kolob. And your masonic apron has been ironed by one of your wives properly. And the great Books will be examined and your record of contributing to God's great pile of mullah will be properly audited and scrutinised by one of God's great army of corporate accountants.

You will be presented with a contract for the period of your residency in a tumbledown bijou apartment in downtown Kolob which you will be expected to swear by, and abide by its many clauses including:

1. To agree never to ring God on his cellphone when the horseracing in on the television.

2. Should you run over God staggering in the middle of the road, flailing his arms widely, and swigging from a bottle of meth spirit, and shouting at the birds, you must agree to return God to the Home for the Mentally Infirm, where we will tuck him up for the night with a warm blanket and a cup of cocoa.

3. You must agree never to play Country & Western music in the Celestial Kingdom.

4. You must abide by your new work schedule of cleaning the Lard's toilets bowls.

5. You must agree never to sue God in any court on any planet, for example, Gross Negligence, Criminal Negligence, Mass murder, Child Neglect, Reckless Endangerment, Breach of a Duty of Trust, Breach of a Duty of Care, Breach of Contract, Extortion, Obtaining Money with Menaces, in any branch of both criminal and civil law.

6. You must agree never to ask God for a loan.

7. You must agree never to invite Adele into the Celestial Kingdom for a visit, or to sing in Church.

8. And most important, you must agree to swear to your friends at dinner parties that God is clearly the most talented author, poet and wordsmith you are never likely to meet in your life.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: January 19, 2020 07:01PM

You are presuming that there is such a place?

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: January 19, 2020 09:02PM

People with the 2nd anointing in Mormonism is a bit like the 144,000 in the JW's.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: January 19, 2020 09:22PM

I've already decided that if I don't get my second annointing ,

I'll go to the movies.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: January 19, 2020 09:23PM

Plus, If I don't get my second annointing does that mean the

first one didn't work? Is this one of those mystery things?

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Posted by: esias ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 03:27PM

The penis-hood holder is granted the ultimate power in the home -- lifetime possession of the television remote control.

But perhaps the ultimate appeal of the 2nd anointing, and the best rush, is the power is part the heavens. Which goes down a bomb at parties. And will impress your friends. Especially if you pimp the party trick with a drone descending from the parted heavens and gently to your oiled feet dropping a hot pizza for your dumbstruck friends.

A Relief Society sister in holy underwear and garments is assigned to strip naked the wrinkly couple, anoint them with lashings of sacred oil, gently roast them in a sauna for thirty minutes. Resuscitate them. Roughly scrape their bodies of the oil into a holy bowl. Then empty the holy bowl into even holier little plastic containers. The penis-hood holder is granted lifetime power to patent and sell the oil to said above dumbstruck friends.

The wife of the penis-hood Big Knob, now a queen of the lower orders, is herself ordered to hold fast to the penis-hod rod, and to give her penis-hood husband good succor.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 04:43PM

After reading that I feel like I just got a 2nd Anointing.

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Posted by: TonyS ( )
Date: January 22, 2020 06:46PM

You guys all realize that it's OUTER DARKNESS for all of you.

You leave the church, you are an APOSTATE... and APOSTATES go to OUTER DARKNESS.

... so why talk about the CK?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 11:39AM

TonyS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You leave the church, you are an APOSTATE... and
> APOSTATES go to OUTER DARKNESS.

Um no. Go read Mormon doctrines and educate yourself.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: January 23, 2020 03:23PM

I am prepared for the hereafter
I purchased a $10.00 harp and
a $40.00 coal shovel

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