Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 10:23AM

Socially: you had friends, you felt appreciated, you enjoyed the activities, you looked forward to church dinners and parties

Spiritually: you believed most of the teachings, you experienced something that may have convinced you the church was true, you believed that church leaders were inspired and making correct decisions

I've probably set up of an improbable dichotomy because many of us ex-mos were a little of both. I now realize that my parents were more socially converted because they joined when the church offered more socialization activities. By the time I popped out, I was BIC and correlation did a number on me. I believed more of their crap and put up with a lot more than I should have because I believed it was part of the sacred rite to be mistreated.

I don't know if the church still has them, but there used to be a lot of "it's good to be purged in the fire because you deserve it" type of lessons. Now I realize how evil the church really is/was.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 10:26AM

I was NEVER socially converted. I hated going to social gettogethers for church. My husband and I used to argue about me going as I never wanted to. I went in the singles ward as I needed to find a man. That is the ONLY reason.

I went to church to worship. I believed in Jesus and God. The rest was kind of iffy. I thought I had to be mormon to keep my family with me in the "next life." I lived in fear that I'd lose them and I did anyway. It has been a relief for me not to have to teach lessons, give talks or even go to the Christmas dinner. I especially don't miss interviews. I pretty much quit going to interviews after our marriage.

I DEFINITELY put up with a lot of abuse that I shouldn't have. I thought I had to. I've posted plenty about it. I tend to be a target. My kids laugh about how many times I get asked to pull forward if I go to a drive through. I get pulled over for strange things like "you looked like you have had a bad day." I've been pulled over 2 or 3 times for looking like I had had a bad day. If my car isn't registered even by a day, I can't drive a block without getting pulled over.

So I was an obvious target, especially by the leaders and even my teachers. I have NO CLUE why I stayed as long as I did. None of my family is social. Mormonism was really tough on my mother, although she was a believer and kept us going, while my dad found many reasons not to go like farming. She was supportive of me when I left especially finding out some of what happened to me. My dad took longer.

I usually went to church and stood off to the side waiting to go in and for the meetings to start. In the singles' ward, 2 of my future friends told me they saw me leaning up against one of those old furnaces and many people would stop and talk to me, especially guys (go figure), and they knew they wanted to be my friend, but I purposely didn't socialize. I was there to worship.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/20/2020 10:31AM by cl2.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: valkyriequeen ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 12:40PM

For me, it was more spiritual; same for my husband.
The first ward/ neighborhood we lived in was great; people were very friendly. This ward/ neighborhood we are in now has been very cold and we were practically shunned from the get go. I thought they would be delighted to have a real, live Lamonite living amongst them!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: severedpuppetstrings ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 01:33PM

Partially spiritual, as I believed in God and Jesus Christ at the time. A part of me felt that I needed more than I was getting in Catholicism. A part of me felt that I got it in the TSCC.

Maybe partially social as well. I was coming from a dysfunctional home, and still working through some trauma. Coming in from that, TSCC looked great on the surface. The families seemed to close and loving, and I was so naive to believe that I would have the same if I joined it (as other members had told me).
Pretty silly, huh?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 03:38PM

I was never converted. I was born in the church but always was skeptical of it. I always felt people in the church gave the church leaders too much power over them. My parents would constantly complain about the church but religiously follow the orders of the leaders. The whole thing seemed stupid. I also saw too many people in the church putting on the public charade but being horrible people only a fool would trust.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 04:29PM

Ditto what Rubicon said. I was a social captive, not a social convert. I eventually was not up to the task of pretending to believe.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 20, 2020 07:34PM

The only reason I went through the temple that last time was to get laid.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **      **  ********   **     **  **     **  **     ** 
 **  **  **  **     **   **   **   **     **  ***   *** 
 **  **  **  **     **    ** **    **     **  **** **** 
 **  **  **  ********      ***     **     **  ** *** ** 
 **  **  **  **           ** **     **   **   **     ** 
 **  **  **  **          **   **     ** **    **     ** 
  ***  ***   **         **     **     ***     **     **