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Posted by: Concrete Zipper ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 03:18PM

At long last, the winners of the RfM Short Story Contest!

I apologize for the delay in announcing the winners. There were so many good entries that choosing the "best" ones was difficult, even with multiple winners. I did arrange to get some second opinions that helped me come to a good conclusion for the contest.

Also, annoyingly, the past year has been rough for me, sucking up a lot of my time and attention. While I wish that hadn't interfered with my board duties, it did.

The lesson learned here is that I'm going to involve (recruit, cajole, shanghai) other board members into helping with similar tasks in the future. Delegation is a powerful tool. You have all been warned.


RfM Short Story Contest Winners

The contest received twenty three entries from seventeen different authors. This was an amazing turnout from our community and the quality of the submissions was high. I read each story and went over the comments that all of you posted beneath them. I also recruited two of our board curmudgeons, elderolddog and ziller, to give me their reactions to the stories. Why those two? They are long-time denizens of RfM, I enjoy their posts, and they both complained about how long it had been since the contest was announced with no winners forthcoming. You stick your head up and you get volunteered. The problem there is that both of them had submitted stories to the contest, which made them biased. I solved that problem by eliminating their entries from the list of potential winners. Not fair? Darned right, it's not fair, but that's the price you pay for being competent and complaining. However, there is a bright spot for those two jokers, and you can read more about it below.

The three winners are (in no particular order):

* kathleen, for the story "Shalom, Pop" -- https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2180081
* nli, for the story "Staying Morally Clean at BYU" -- https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2168636 (*** Adult themes, NSFW ***)
* Done & Done, for the story "The Spoils of the Victor" -- https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2173928

Each winner will receive a CZ from CZ: a cubic zirconium to demonstrate that things that look valuable aren't necessarily so. (There's a metaphor for cults in there somewhere.)

As far as ziller and elderolddog, because they helped me so much, they will also each receive a CZ from CZ. Yeah, I bought extra just in case. Their biases and my biases shouldn't cost them their dreams.

A note on nli's story: It contains adult themes and is very NSFW. Read at your own risk.

I give a big thank you to everyone who wrote stories, read them, commented on them or just thought that the contest was a good idea. We're going to have more contests in the future, and I will ensure that we have sufficient help so that the results are far more prompt than they were this time.

For the winners of the cubic zirconia, please e-mail me privately with an address so that I can send you your prize via U.S. mail. It doesn't have to be your own address if you are concerned with privacy. Feel free to use the address of a friend or relative, a P.O. box, etc. But no dead drops, if you're really paranoid; I dont have the time or resources to travel.

In gratitude to you all,

CZ
concrete.zipper@gmail.com

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 03:20PM


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Posted by: Concrete Zipper ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 03:28PM


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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 03:30PM

You forgot to ask for the winners' bank account and taxpayer ID numbers.

You know, for direct deposit.

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Posted by: Warrior71783 ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 04:17PM

Just send cash to a P.O. Box. You have to trust me on this. I am surprised old dog did not win though.

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 04:25PM

Meanwhile, congrats to all the winners. Very impressive achievement in such a talented field.

I think maybe only BICs can truly get some of the Mormon stuff. Most of what I know about Mormonism I learned here from you. Because, as we know, they tell prospective converts the least possible info, then after baptism bury them in Primary. (I wasn't allowed to go to RS, where I (mistakenly) thought I would learn Mormon doctrine).

I attended the temple as a convert. Never got past fumbling around at the veil, trying to remember what I was supposed to say, sweating in all the required linen, with the old folks assuming I didn't know the words so pre-emptively whispering them to me in a rush, so I never did learn them properly for myself. It all seemed so ethereal and mysterious but halfway through the film during my first time through I had the unbidden rebellious thought that I will never be able to sit through this movie once a month for the rest of my life (as The Brethren encouraged) as it was So. Infinitely. Boring.

Meanwhile, just reading CZ's post I suddenly recalled that I had actually written a story and then forgotten to send it in! It was about JS, of all topics.

Thankfully, it's still sitting somewhere on my spare computer. It wouldn't measure up to the fine entries on display here, and all the rest. Too non-BIC. And silly. But then again, did I mention JS was my topic? (haha, I crack myself up).

Sorry for the diversion.

I'm so glad for you three winners (winners in every way) to be recognized for your great contributions. I have enjoyed re-reading two of the entries. The NSFW one is on my 'maybe' list. :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/27/2020 04:27PM by Nightingale.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 03:34PM

Oh, my gosh ! Thank you very much !

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 03:45PM

Yay! I'm so excited. I loved all the stories. Unlike some other people we know too well, this was truly inspired, CZ. The Holy Ghost still seems to be shadowing you. Hard to shake, no?

Hey, CZ, please send nli's story with my Cubic Zirconia? Please?
Dying to read it. I mean, too juicy for RFM. Wow. It's okay. I'm over twenty one---well over.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 04:16PM

Applause!

What a fun thing for CZ to do. Loved the metaphor for cults (or something).

Thanks to everyone for the entertainment, talent and sharing.

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Posted by: nli ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 04:46PM

I am honored to be selected one of the three winners.

I am also flattered that several others have expressed interest in reading my NSFW story (it really is NSFW). For those who cannot wait for CZ to post the link to it, you can e-mail me and I'll send it to you: pliant60502@mypacks.net (it's about 8 pages long in .TXT format)

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 09:13PM

Wow...just f*****g wow. No soaking offers came my way at Ricks, sadly.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 06:03PM

congrats to the winners ~


elderolddog's submissions were unreadable anyway ~

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 06:09PM

If you want to bust your buttons, ask CZ to forward you what I said about your story...


Anyway, the contest was rigged: CZ has a thing for hot women!!

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 06:41PM

such is life bro ~


he who has the hot wimmins makes the rulz ~

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 06:47PM

Just read nli's story. Couldn't stop laughing.

Only at BYU . . .

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 06:53PM

I e-mailed kathleen. She brought back memories of my own dad. He didn't build roads, but he was a farmer. He taught school, but farming was HIS LIFE. He couldn't sell he farm while he was alive, though he knew we'd need the money to take care of our brothers. It was his father's farm, which he paid for by helping them in retirement. Selling the farm was like losing an arm or a leg as it was so much my dad.

I was already remembering my dad as the anniversary of his 11th year of being gone is February 1st.

P.S. We all go bonkers near the anniversaries of their deaths. Every one of us.

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Posted by: nli ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 07:12PM

Thanks to all who expressed interest in reading my story.

It is actually a chapter in an in-progress erotic autobiography (which will probably never be published).

For those who would like to read another chapter - chronologically prior to the story I submitted to RfM (and perhaps even less safe for work and quite blasphemous) - just let me know: pliant60502@mypacks.net

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Posted by: klsmd ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 06:08AM

That story was hysterical, Thanks!

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: January 30, 2020 04:25PM

Great writing, it's one of those literary works that you wish will never end.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 07:12PM

I've read it.

It is hilariously salacious!!

I've proofed it and formatted it...

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 27, 2020 07:22PM

Heck with it. You can always remove the thread if I went to far...

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 28, 2020 03:12PM

Congrats RfMers! You rock and I was rolling reading these.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 28, 2020 10:41PM

Thank you, CZ, Elderolddog and ziller.

What an honor to write about my wonderful Pop, and win a prize doing so.



Better than any Second Anointing.

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Posted by: Ted ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 05:18PM

That was a fantastic story. Loved the imagery - it was like I was there. Your Pop was a real trail blazer - literally. My pop died of prostate cancer too, and like your dad, he was tough as nails, WWII veteran, and a great dad. I like the part of 6-year old Kathleen riding around with her dad in the snow plow - he was a great dad.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 07:54PM

I know. The photo at the end of the snowplow between those enormous white walls put a lump in my throat. What an ending.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 09:30PM

Thank you, Ted and Done & Done for your very kind words.
:)

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Posted by: Bethnli ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 08:13PM


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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 09:35PM

Same contest. CZ just made the maximum use of time. :)

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 11:33PM

Congrats to all the winnahz!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 29, 2020 11:36PM

CZ needed the extra time to process all the bribes.

It's a goldmine. A goldmine, I say!

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