Ok not a Mormon never been. I have never been inside the church. I have a child who is married to someone who was a Mormon but left the church. My family member doesn't live near me but is someone I am very close to. They live with the ex-morons family(in the same household). So while I have contact with my family member and am friendly with their partners family we are not close. I noticed a new person who was always in the picture like always in the pics. The parents were always deep into the church. Then through a social media post the partners parents have declared they are in a three person marriage. So my question is would the moron church throw them out for it. They never post about church stuff or made sure only those who are in the church circle seen it. While I don't care who they sleep with live with etc. Not sure how to react to their posts about it. We are not close but visiting might be an issue if I can't understand how this works in terms of their religion beliefs. Is this an throw back to the old beliefs. I am like what the hell. Thanks for any help in understand this. I am not comfortable in asking my family member about this.

every MORmON marriage is a three person marriage ....that includes MORmON Jesus.

No problem if the extra spouse is female.

It's burn down the house! time if the third spouse is a male.

It is two guys one girl.

I was born-in-the-cult and was raised as a mormon. I went on a 2-year mission for the cult and was a true believer for 32 years. I have been out for a couple of decades now. I'm telling you my history so you will understand where I am coming from.

In my experience, ANY marriage outside of 1 man/1 woman is strictly forbidden in the modern mormon church. No gay marriage and certainly no open marriages. Having sex outside of the traditional marriage is not just forbidden but it is a crime right next to (though slightly beneath) murder. I can't imagine any mormon bishop or anyone in the stake leadership being ok with plural marriages.

Any mormon practicing plural marriage with more than one living spouse would be summarily excommunicated and branded an apostate.

This is the church I have known for most of my life and even though I haven't attended in decades I don't think they would have changed at all on this issue.

Personally, I'm fine with adults entering into these consensual relationships as long as everyone is treated fairly and there is no manipulation or abuse. That said, I would be worried that a plural marriage like the one you describe would mean that they are in a more fundamentalist version of mormonism. Though the mainstream mormon church is a cult, the fundamentalists are worse.

What advice would you tell your friend if they were in a similar situation as you? That's probably what you should do.

Thanks for the responses and as I said what they do in their home is their own business and not mine. We had noticed so many changes in their home over the last few years. Things I knew were not really approved by the church. They never pushed to try and bring their friends in to the church. I just didn't want to assume that their beliefs have changed. Things that had changed were clothing Tattoos etc, but while they have said nothing about leaving the church in the type of contact we have with them on social media(why would they really). I just wanted to be respectful of their new lifestyle. They are not old per say but are not young having teenagers and grandkids. They are loving to their family and are very supportive of all of those around them, which since I can't be close to my family member(it is expensive to fly + hotel) is mostly out of my reach right now is what is important to my spouse and I. They were when we met them the first time very into the "church" and the doctrine, including their children having little to no contact with a family member who had married outside of the church.. I am personally hoping they have left in my mind. In everything I have looked at it is my opinion it is just a cult that wants 10% of your money that imposes some crazy rules on you. I am trying to stay kind of under the radar of my family member in asking about it here and I hesitate to revel too much info. So thanks for all the thoughts about this it does help. This was one of the places I lurked reading about the church and the things that went on in it when my family member asked his now spouse to marry them. I was concerned naturally as they would be moving not only thousands of miles away but living in another country at the same time so us swooping in and helping if there were problems would be so hard. So once again thanks for all the thoughts we just don't know much about what goes on in the sides of the church that are the face of what goes on.

It's my impression that there is no way they can be clinging to any form of mainstream or even semi-mainstream mormonism and be able to justify a "two men-one woman" relationship. (Shades of "Paint Your Wagon"!)

It sounds as if they fell into a reality of which they are totally in favor and the fact that they had to chose between their new reality and mormonism, and mormonism lost.

It would be totally scandalous in mormonism, as well as unacceptable!!!

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It's my impression that there is no way they can
> be clinging to any form of mainstream or even
> semi-mainstream mormonism and be able to justify a
> "two men-one woman" relationship. (Shades of
> "Paint Your Wagon"!)

Precisely.

[The film (and stage play, too) "Paint Your Wagon" was set during California Gold Rush days (mid-1800s).

It centers around a woman who is literally running away from her recently former life as a Mormon plural wife--and she (drawing on her own, Mormon, polygamous, experience) ends up in a thoughtful, self-chosen, polyamorous relationship with two men (initially: strangers to each other) who have come to California to participate in the enormous opportunities suddenly available during that worldwide rush to California to search for gold.]

EDITED TO ADD: In my other post [below], I refer to the "moment" (1960s-1980s or so) when polyamory was being fairly widely and actively discussed throughout a large part of American society. "Paint Your Wagon," which was produced and released in the late 1960s, is definitely a part of what I was referring to in my post below, and is an excellent example of that 1960s-1980s period.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2020 04:03PM by Tevai.

Oh, dear. Yes, that sounds like Fundie Mormonism. Officially, the LDS church is against it and would excommunicate them. However, it's possible that the family may be able to keep it under the radar.

It's been speculated that covert polygamy (especially in LDS wards) is more common that people generally think.

I'm so sorry. That must be very tough to deal with.

Husband w/ 2 wives? Look the other way. Don't ask don't tell.

But a wife w/ 2 husbands? Oh no. No room for polyandry in this church, not even if both guys are full tithepayers. There's just no place in the doctrine or culture for that.

They're not just on thin ice, they've broken through and are splashing around in the water.

People who believe in the LDS church, in a casual, general way, but don't attend or bother with practicing any of the requirements. One possible giveaway: Do they drink alcohol, coffee, or tea? Those are prohibited by their "Word of Wisdom," a set of life-style edicts required for believing, obedient Mormons. Jack Mormons typically don't abide by the "W.o.W.:

You might find this information of practical interest:

The NON-Mormon term for what you describe is "polyamory," with the informal, in ordinary speech, truncated version being "poly" (and it refers to any combination of people in excess of two, with the genders being totally up to those most directly involved).

Although there was a more-or-less "moment" of general public awareness of polyamory for several decades (1960s-1980s or so), when many popular novels (most especially those by Robert Rimmer), non-fiction books, some university studies, etc. were written about polyamory as a "thing," public interest gradually changed as LGBTQ rights became the principal focus of this general kind of societal evolution, and in concert, polyamory gradually receded in public consciousness in many different ways. (Few new novels, magazine feature articles, documentaries, general audience films such as THE HARRAD EXPERIMENT, discussions on TV shows, etc.)

As LGBTQ existence and LGBTQ rights became "just normal" in American (in particular) society and culture, polyamory as a subject, retreated (in step) into the background.

In 2020 polyamory is no longer a "thing" of notable public interest/speculation. Sometimes, contemporary references to polyamory, or to those in polyamorous relationships, are made (whether the word "polyamory" is used or not)--for example: in feature articles about publicly-known celebrities (etc.), but basically: those who are in poly relationships live their lives just normally, as they wish--and in truth, no one else cares (or, most often, is particularly interested).

Just as the couple next door or down the street may be two males, or two females, and no one cares either way, neither does there seem to be any special consternation now if the "couple" is (for example) composed of three people instead of two.

EDITED TO ADD: I just reread your post and realized you are especially interested in the religious views of those who are in poly relationships. The answer is: the religious views of poly people are a microcosm of general society--there is no more uniformity within poly relationships than there is in the non-poly world. Think of the people you know face-to-face in your life--you probably "know" (in some way or another) people who have a whole spectrum of religious/non-religious views. The same is true with those who are in poly relationships.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 05/23/2020 10:19AM by Tevai.

Or, their leaders can 'Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil', because those upstream might ask searching questions such as 'How long have U known about this?'