Two years ago there was a massive conflict between two family members. It was a clash of values.

Ego-personality vs. Ego-personality.

The conflict severed some of the relationships in the family. Other family members were recruited as flying monkeys and soon everything turned into a complete inferno... No prisoners were taken.

There was some circumstantial evidence pointing to that personal integrity had been compromised and trust were gone.

So here we are today, everybody involved are stubborn, trying to get the other to see through only one self-serving perspective.

"I am the victim and you are the abuser!", "Not I but you! Not I but you!".

No plead for any kind of peace on the horizon. It is a stalemate.

No one is moving forward on any front and I sense there is a double bind because every time someone try to solve the problem there are some serious backlashes.

I also sense that everybody involved will accept a solution if one part - metaphorically - allows the other part to dominate and get things right even if it is not true at all. But there I differ in personal opinion, I think both parties really must back down and admit they escalated the whole situation into a family feud.

This feud sort of took my family away from me and I am ashamed they keep doing this during the Corona-crisis. Makes me wanna puke.

At another school, I came in the middle of two warring colleagues. The situation had been going on long before I came along. What I told them was, "I am Switzerland. I am not going to take sides. I will do my level best to get along with both of you and relate to you in a professional manner." And I did. I had a good working relationship with both of them. Meetings were tense, however. Eventually when I could transfer away from that situation, I did (for a variety of reasons, not just that. But it was definitely a big factor.)

I don't know if that will work in your situation, but it might be worth a try -- "This is between the two of you. I refuse to take sides. I am not at war with you, and I am not at war with the other person. I will do my best to get along with the both of you." Put it back on them. Refuse their efforts to put it on you.

Families are overrated.

Agreed. Some families are great, some are mostly okay, some are only tolerable, and some are totally awful and no amount of wishing it was better is going to change things. In those cases, I think it's best to just cut and run, then form your own surrogate family.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilliput_and_Blefuscu

If you don't want to read the whole article, search for the term "Big-Endian". It is very much on point.

Are they Mormons? If so, try to get your house blessed by the home teachers or missionaries. Buildings can store (or imprint) negative energy so clearing that would help the situation. If they don’t believe that, they don’t believe their religion. Blessing buildings is a Mormon thing. They can look it up.

I grew up with feuds happening like this in my family every week. My parents would feud with each other, my sisters would act out, I would say nothing in an attempt to keep the shitstorm from coming my way (I think some of my social anxiety comes from that).

Best advice I can give: the best way to survive this is to not participate. If they wanted this resolved, they would have done it by now. When you can, cut your losses and run.

Thx for all your feeback!

Will now try to navigate through the fog.

This sort of thing has caused me to no longer associate with a large part of my family.
They percieve themselves to be "pure and holy" and any one who does not agree with their perceptions is of the Devil.
Evidence to the contrary of what they believe is dismissed out of hand.
I actually feel sorry for them. I do miss them but that is their choice!

Desert Rat we are of the devil.

Are you bothered by 40 year old man who is thought of still as a sweet 14 year old boy who then marries a 14 year old girl (Helen Mars) many years later?

Are you bothered by Joseph having endured so much persecution when he was younger due to not telling a single soul about a vision he had which he still couldn't get straight through multiple efforts of his own writing 20 years later?

Are you bothered by numerous stories of war and beheadings to save a most valuable record that wasn't ever needed to be physically present to translate its text?

Well see the devil is in the details.

Therefore anyone concerned with such details that some might call facts is clearly of the devil.