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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: Former identified patient ( )
Date: August 02, 2020 02:40AM

I was the identified patient. But two years ago I woke up. Started to make changes in my life. Taking care of my health and making some economic decisions for the future. My family has, non-stop, tried to undo every constructive process in my life. They are desperate, I must get put back into the fold and lose my power and control. They are crazy, completely shameless in their manners. They have literally asked me to do humiliating things and I say no and get in trouble for that.

Anyone else know what I am talking about?

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Posted by: Heidi GWOTR ( )
Date: August 02, 2020 10:46AM

Many Mormon families have the idea that once a child, always a child. They never see the adult. Only the child. That gives them permission to control and berate for "sins". These sins can be those of the Mormon faith, or just having a different political opinion, or going into a career that is not family approved.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: August 02, 2020 12:18PM

Yep. They can be toxic when someone is trying to change their life.

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Posted by: logged off sunday ( )
Date: August 02, 2020 12:23PM

If you don't live at home and aren't financially under their thumbs, you can firm up those boundaries.

Block texts, send email to spam, ignore calls.

You will feel much better once you cease drinking their toxic sludge. You're under no obligation to "love" them (much less obey them) since they seem to not love you.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: August 02, 2020 02:09PM

Some distance can be a good thing. Or when they ask you to do something you don't want to do, just say, "Yeah, that's not going to happen." Be firm. Who cares if you "get in trouble"? You're not a child.

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: August 02, 2020 02:44PM

Many have bounced around the fact we don't know the physical or mental age of "Former identified patient ( )".

If FIP is an adolescence, then the answer one thing, if on the other had FIP is an adult or older it's another thing.

If young, buck it up and live with it until you can be on your own.

If you are on your own and older, you don't have to accept the abuse, walk away from it and live your own life, be happy.

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