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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 02:05PM

Both of us are feeling very down in the dumps today. It's our Daughter's birthday and we can't do much of anything to help her celebrate it.

DH has declared that the following topics are now off-limits:

How and when will the Government pry the current occupant
out of the White House, so that Mr. Biden can move in?

How much longer can the Plague possibly go on? What will
we do to celebrate when it's over, assuming that we both
survive it?

What more, if anything, could we be doing to avoid the
Plague, and live to see our granddaughters graduate from
high school? Will there even BE a high school when they
are ready for it?

His rationale is that since we can't do anything to resolve these issues, there is no point in talking about them.

Is there anything worth talking about, anymore? Does anyone else feel like a bumblebee who is flailing around pointlessly, trapped in a glass jar? (Flapping the wings like crazy and getting exactly nowhere?)

Sorry to be on such a downer.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 04:23PM

catnip Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Is there anything worth talking about, anymore?

I think so. We can talk about how we are feeling. We can talk about the little joys in life like what makes us smile inside - a special treat, blanket, place in the house, pet, person, personal experiences from the past.

There's a world of experiences to be had and past ones to share. It is always pleasant to read something somewhere and mention it to a loved one and opine about it, getting their take.

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 04:34PM

I understand being banned from multiple topics. My exhusband would have preferred me to be completely silent. I'd go weeks without saying much of anything.

Avoiding certain topics is fine as long as you still have things you both enjoy talking about.

Here's wishing you many pleasant conversations.

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Posted by: librarian ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 04:44PM

I am happy to say that my son and I can discuss anything and laugh at it all.
My daughter only talks about her grandchildren, and since there are so many little scamps there is always something funny to laugh at.
Trying to stay cheerful is sometimes difficult, but "look on the bright side of life"!

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 04:59PM

On a bright note, you have someone at home to talk to. I only have my cat, who is very loving, but has a limited conversational repertoire. :)

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 05:29PM

Summer, I read that there is now an app for that. It translates cat speak into English. :)

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 06:11PM

Oh, he's pretty easy to interpret. Mostly, it's "Is it meal/treat/snack time yet?" "No?" (15 minutes later,) "How about now?" If he thinks I am too dense to interpret that, he will lick his chops to help my comprehension. I've learned to adjust the way that I say, "No" or "Not yet" because he doesn't understand the words, but he does understand the tone of my voice (at which point he walks away, disgusted.)

He's my little alarm clock in the morning. He's a very scheduled individual. I get up at 5:30 to feed him because he's diabetic and needs food at regular intervals. Then I go back to bed. On weekends, if I'm not up again by 8:30, he gets upset and meows me awake. lol

He will also often announce when he has finished eating. In his little cat mind, he's convinced he's a lion. He's letting me know that, as the resident female, it's my turn to eat. I always respond, "Thank you sweetie." Or, "I love you, sweetie."

We get each other. :)

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Posted by: blindguy ( )
Date: November 20, 2020 06:21PM

When I was considering dating my LDS braille proofreading partner in around 2007-2008, one of the things that I began to realize was that talking with her could be a problem. I got the impression from reading this Board (and elsewhere) plus some of the things she said that there would be things, particularly to do with religion, that were probably not going to be up for discussion. I came to the realization that talking to her about these things would have the effect of walking on eggshells--I would have to be very careful about what I said to her both when talking to her and talking about her with others. And I finally came to the conclusion that I really didn't like the prospect of walking on eggshells very much so I let her go.

Obviously, you're married to your partner now so I hope you can find a way to move around those restrictions he's placed in your way; otherwise, it's going to be a very bumpy ride for both of you.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 21, 2020 01:01AM

Catnip has been in this, her second marriage a long time and is, I believe, happy in it. She may be portraying her reportedly supportive and nurturing husband as more dictatorial than he really is.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: November 21, 2020 01:17AM

IMO sometimes partners just get tired of certain topics. I used to repeatedly complain about my job to my then boyfriend. One day he said, unless you are ready to start a job hunt, I don't want to hear about it anymore. He was right about that. My next job was great in nearly every way.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: November 21, 2020 02:06AM

Lottie, you nailed it.

DH and I happened to be in horrible synch in that we both woke up unbearably grumpy. (It's more common for one to be grouchy but the other is fine, and the one who is fine boosts the grouch.)

As the day moved along, we both made progress on little tasks we have been putting off, took life-affirming naps, and were pretty much back in good spirits for the rest of the day.

He fell asleep in his favorite rocking chair (cat in lap) during the end -of-evening local news, and I stayed awake to verify that there would be some sort of weather tomorrow. I had a cat in my lap, too.

So I had to wake DH after the weather report. He was a little bit grumpy about getting his insulin injections, but we got through those without difficulty (thank goodness).

My German-born grandma and I used to have a little good-night routine that we shared from the time I was little, through my teens, up to the last time I saw her before she passed. The words are all in German. DH and I took a primary German class decades ago, and I decided back then to teach him our little
"Gute Nacht" words. I wrote them down for him, as well as a very literal translation, and he has learned it.

So before we go to bed, we say the simple little lines to each other, wishing each other a good night's sleep, and it reaffirms not only the wonderful love we have shared for nearly three decades, but the cherished memory I have of my precious grandmother, who first taught me those words so many years ago.

By repeating these simple little lines back and forth, it is a calming and soothing way to wind down the tensions of the day and set aside fretful things that we can't do anything about.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 21, 2020 02:25AM

How marriage should be.

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Posted by: ufotofuabbaufotofu ( )
Date: November 21, 2020 12:50AM

》Is there anything worth talking about, anymore? 》

YES! ○ & ☆, ♤♡◇♧, ^, philosophy, worlds, human nature, nature...

Betterment
Feng Shui
Mechanics
Experiences
Problems
Fashion
Hunting
Sports
Juicing
Farming
Smoking
Preserving
Sharing
Gardens
Creatives
Art/ Design
The Body
Landscapes
Adventure
Travel
Culture
History
Science
Events
People
........

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Posted by: ufotofuabbaufotofu ( )
Date: November 22, 2020 12:20AM

I mean, we can either create things to talk about - be open - depending on the other party/ parties, and go as deep as we can imagine, and have it be as interesting, elaborate, exciting, or decide to discuss certain things, or not, or in certain places, or at certain times... or when we are in certain moods.

I think a lot of times it's how we feel, and who we are with, and what the agreements, boundaries, and/ or parameters are. Otherwise it's respect, and sharing, love and equality within the relationship, community, conversation, etc. at least as far as maintaining sanity and human decency.

We are limited, if we are, by our 'selves'/ our imaginations/ beliefs/ faculties/ abilities and those of the meeting/ conversation/ relationship.

Sorry to interrupt...
Chocolate anyone?
p

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