So I've come to terms with something I'm sure you all will think is very stupid and won't believe I've even taken time to think about.

Ever since I can remember, my entire life I have been angry. Angry about *anything*. At a very young age I was taken in to therapy to try and work out the anger issues - that didn't help, pills didn't help, and even though I've always had a very loving and caring family I've always felt alone.

I've always been sure that there is some sort of pre-destiny. I don't believe in time, but the Universe is so old and complex that everything that happens has had to have echoed and etched itself somewhere out in space down to the point of our actions and thoughts, until we all die. I am always at a self conflict - I think like this, but then I always think I'm some sort of fluke, that I wasn't supposed to be born, and I'm interrupting the flow of everything else here. This kind of thinking leads me to suicidal thoughts constantly - I never have acted out on them. In fact, growing up I thought this was normal and everyone else had them as well. Apparently not, or at least not at the rate I do. It's like a shadow, in fact, the thought of death is the only friend I really have these days. But I won't act on it - it's an unspoken relationship, a taboo until we meet naturally. Maybe my fat will help speed this process up.

Why am I writing this out? Why does any of this have to do with what I'm writing now? The fact is, and the reason I've been angry for all of my life is because even as a small child I've known something, even if it was subconscious, even if it was a "feature" I was born with.

I have a small penis.

It's what would make me physically fight kids in elementary school on almost a daily basis.

It's what kept me away from chasing girls in high school and eventually leaving the church in that time period (I'd spend nights investigating instead of going outside and having fun).

It's what has stopped me from giving a shit about my body.

It's what keeps me from conversation or even having the want or need to socialize. At the very least I keep my job and that's it, lately my co workers are getting friendly and I don't know how to handle this.

I can lose the weight. I can become social. But what's the point? I'll never be adequate enough. I'll never show true love because of my short salute. I will be forever the butt of the joke of all men, even after my death - me and the many men before me and after me that suffer at this.

I could go get help. I could stop being a coward and talk to someone about this in the real world. I could try to find some sympathy. But I'll never be good enough.

First off everyone in elementary school has a small penis. I'm sporting one on the smaller side and I'm getting along just fine. The old 'it's not the size of the ship it's the motion of the ocean' has held true for me.

be able to understand the complexities of this issue, or muster the requisite sensitivity, but as a woman, I can assure you that a healthy sense of self-worth does not require a penis at all.

The reason I'm anon for this, is that I wanted to tell you that my husband is a smaller size (or has always thought he was) and although it had bugged him since middle school, his size has never been an issue for me. He has a penis size that is within the range of normal (i.e. healthy), but somehow I don't think that's the standard that seems to matter in these cases.

At one point he told me about his insecurity, and I told him that while I appreciate the pain and suffering it has caused him, it's time to deal with it. It's a juvenile issue. Kids tease. Kids can be merciless, but that doesn't mean we have to live our adult lives in acceptance of the criteria by which our childhood nemeses tortured us.

It isn't about size, it's about skill and the warranted confidence that comes with it. A thoughtful, careful lover is infinitely more desirable than a big-dicked dolt. If it's the ladies you're interested in, you're focused on the wrong criteria.

Why judge your fundamental worth by criteria that isn't all that important? That seems so out-of-order.

I'm a woman and the idea that you're that upset about the size of your penis is simply incomprehensible to me. Seriously, I really don't think most women give a sh!t.

If you're concerned that men might make fun of you, don't hang out in locker rooms.

If your penis-size inadequacy obsession is just the most-convenient issue to blame the cause of your real unhappiness on, I strongly suggest you seek therapy.

It can literally change your life.

From the sound of your post, it sounds as if you're up for a life change.

Good luck.

The size of the thingie doesn't matter half as much as the quality of the person it is attached to. Honest.

Is he intelligent? Funny? Kind, gentle, compassionate?

That's the kind of stuff that matters.

What do you want, to be a Porn star? They're the only ones who need a big one. I've always thought the long an thin may go all the way in, but the short and thick does the trick. It's really easy to think that it really matters to others, but unless you're naked in front of people all the time, (pornstars) it's not something anyone thinks about but you. Don't get me wrong, when I was in grade school, it used to concern me too, but no one has seen me naked since high school that I didn't want to see me naked. I also realize, as you should, that as long as I'm dressed, no one is able to compare, so no one is able to think about it or care. I don't understand why that fact would make you want to fight unless they are pointing and laughing, which would mean you are naked.

Believe me, the size of my husband's penis is the last thing that attracted me to him. In fact, I didn't even experience it up close and personal until we'd been married a couple of weeks. And at that point, I was wishing it was smaller. ;-)

I agree with alsoanon. I think there's a lot more to your angst than the size of your dick. I don't like to tell people to get therapy, because that's something you really have to want to do in order for it to be effective. But it does sound to me like your issues go far beyond your penis size. You sound like you may be dealing with some serious depression. I've been there and I know how depression colored my world and made it seem not worth being a part of.

I know you say you've tried to do something about your anger. I urge you to keep trying. You say you've tried "pills" and therapy. I would suggest trying again until you find something that works for you. There are many different treatments for depression; many of them involve taking drugs, but some of them don't. Start by seeing a doctor and getting a physical. Depression is treatable and it's definitely worth getting over.

In the meantime, I hope you'll hang in there.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/04/2011 11:01AM by knotheadusc.

short?

as in skinny?

or as in both short and skinny?

It makes a difference. per "foundoubt short and thick does the trick"

Seriously, dude, no woman gives two halves of a crap about the length, girth, whatever of your penis. Are you a loving person? Do you enjoy long walks on the beach? Are you in possession of a talented tongue and not afraid to use it? These are the things that matter to a woman.

(For the record, no one should take any of the above as a reflection on my husband's penis, which is mildly above average in length, not that it matters. I'm simply saying it's mostly irrelevant to a woman's sexual enjoyment, at least as far as I've experienced. Woman are less concerned with size and more concerned with quality; at least that's true for me, and is the impression I get from my friends.)

You've gotta get over your self-consciousness, man. It's really holding you back.

This is a complex and difficult topic. A lot of people won't understand. For Guys, it's hard to discuss... Usually, it's just the "suck it up and get over it" (something I've heard more than once while I've dealt with my own personal depression), because that's how guys are supposed to deal with things. For women, it's hard for them to relate to just how much masculinity and self identity (even if subconsciously) is tied into that one part of our body. The best analogy is how a woman might feel with a mastectomy. May such women feel less a woman, that they won't be as loved or attractive afterwards.

Women have posted above and I'm pretty sure that when you find someone, you'll find that it won't matter. Intimacy goes beyond the physical act, even if you are of smaller size. For many women it's more about their connection with the person they are with than anything else.

I really would recommend getting finding a good therapist to help you deal with this. Your depression is keeping you from enjoying life, which you can do, regardless of any physical inadequacies. Posting here is a first step, you're at least talking, even if it's anonymously about what your going though. A therapist might be able to help you understand how to deal with your feelings of inadequacy and accept who you are and be happy.

I really do hope that you'll find a way to deal with this. It's easier said than done, but try not to let this rule your life.

Are you sure that you know what you are actually angry about? My dad was OB/GYN so I know bit about this sort of thing...happens in every 500 to 1000 births so it is not as rare as you might think. Have you been checked 100% including ultrasound, genetic karotype, etc? Did you have surgery for gynecomastia or to remove undescended testes? Most women really want a nice, decent guy so if you can't have children it is not the end of the world.

But the skill of the carpenter that matters.


There are other ways to stimulate a women. There are fingers and your tongue. Learn how to stimulate a woman's G-Spot and she'll love you forever.

One thing that guys with plus size penises may never experience(and I'll qualify that with MAY because women come in all dimensions too) is actually getting their ENTIRE penis in, thrust right up to the pelvis.
My husband is slightly concerned about his size, but when I told him that it was a rare man that could give me the kind of full on contact that I like, he stopped treating it like a worry. As far as I'm concerned, less is better.
It really doesn't take much penetration in length to do the deed, I suspect a lot of women would also enjoy full pelvic contact. I learned to masturbate with a pillow, and that's the same sort of contact I like now. It was never about penetration, but some is nice.
I've been with a small variety of men, and the larger and longer the dude, the less I liked it.

Now of course, my experience is not everyones experience!

I have to say that like a gold digger, you don't want the kind of girl who is only interested in your dick. Just like you don't want one interested in your paycheck.

People still marry for love.

Some of the best sex I had was with a guy who had a very small penis. He was attentive and creative. He used massage, his tongue and his hands in ways that made me feel wonderful. I think as a woman it's hard to understand what a man feels on this issue, but as a man you need to hear from women that for most of us, size is a non-issue.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/04/2011 03:52PM by DebbiePA.

Somehow, 8-10% of women are completely satisfied sexually with a partner who doesn't have a penis AT ALL.

And when women decide to have sex with a man (or not), they haven't even seen the size of his penis. They're basing their attraction on other things.

And I second another poster: I have fond memories of a guy on the "smaller side." The most disappointing experience of my entire sex life was with a guy who thought a big dick was all he needed.

Like I said above I'm a member of that same club anon for this y'all. But there is another thread that went up today that talks about the damned in the telestial kingdom. Supposedly we won't have any junk so really who cares. Like all the females posting it really isn't a deal breaker. I've been with plenty of women and I'm not swinging anything special. Give yourself some slack.

Another woman chiming in here to say I agree with what has already been said... in my experience, it kinda seems like the bigger guys think they don't need to do anything except thrust, whereas average-to-smaller guys actually bother with some technique. And with women, it's totally about technique. 99% of women cannot orgasm solely from vaginal stimulation -- it's all about clits and g-spots, which are totally within your reach!

I'm sorry I don't understand the psychology of it, though I can kinda imagine that it's akin to a woman having a flat chest. But there are people out there who will love you and be in love with you regardless!

((Hugs))

Here is a bit of historical trivia that might interest you. In ancient Greece a small penis was desirable because they believed it was more fertile. Men who had large ones were mocked and considered gross. It depends on society and really doesn't matter all that much to most women.

Good piece of trivia. I was born way too late. I could have been a greek god......

marco torres Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Good piece of trivia. I was born way too late. I
> could have been a greek god......


LOL

Trust me, this I know.

I've only been with one guy who had a big one, and frankly, it was kind of uncomfortable.

I'm pretty average size, but my wife is a bit on the small side, which seems to make sex a bit difficult. It's the kind of thing I certainly didn't anticipate: I thought tight would be good. But we often do other enjoyable things, and have actual intercourse more rarely. So it works out.

I've done a lot of field research in this area.

And trust me, it's more important to bang the hell outta the sides of the tuna can than to reach the bottom, so to speak.

"I've done a lot of field research in this area."

*snort*

First LOL of the day, thanks ;-)

A little tidbit that most men do not know (and most women actually):

The nerve endings in the vagina are concentrated in the first two inches from the opening.

That means if you've got two inches, hard, you're fine. You've got enough.

The vagina is very elastic and must be in order to expand to a size large enough to fit a tiny human through. During arousal, the tissues around the vagina fill with blood. That means the vagina swells to match (or "grip") whatever is inside.

Even if you have a micropenis (google that when you're not at work!), there's a ton of other things that you could do to satisfy a lover, which means that yes, you are good enough and you can be good enough. Someone will (and may already) love you for who you are, not for what you've got between your legs. Invest in toys, use your hands, use your mouth, use everything you've got. Learn female anatomy and remember... the clitoris is your friend!

(1) lose weight and your penis will naturally look larger. (2)Shave it and it will look larger still. (3) Forget about the penis, it's the tongue that matters.

I read in some diet research that losing 35 lbs will result in a 1" gain (functional/appearance) in penis length. It doesn't really grow, it just becomes more accessible/visible.

Try losing some weight?

Most women need that to "arrive" anyway.

To the OP, hang in there (no pun intended). To the lady's who commented, I must say that I for one am very impressed with the manner in which you responded to this poster, in general. You are very kind hearted.

When it comes to GIVING oral - while I can't speak for all women, just myself and my friends - we prefer to not have a gargantuan object to try to shove in our mouths. It ain't all that enjoyable to feel like we're being choked and gagged. But smaller penises are fabulous for going down on, because we can fit the majority all the way in without feeling like we're trying to swallow a sword. Feels better for the guy too, or so I've heard. ;)