Date: January 14, 2021 12:58AM
Things to tell any LDS missionary (or anyone that does not want to be a missionary).
1. You are an ADULT. Think and act like it. As an adult, you make choices and you are responsible for those choices regardless of who influenced you to make the choice and regardless of what type of persuasion was used.
2. If you choose to discuss your sex life with someone who has ulterior motives, regardless of whether the discussion was supposedly in confidence, you can reasonably expect that someone to use that information to coerce you. Knowledge is power. The more someone knows about you, the more power they have over you. Confession in the LDS culture invariably comes back at you in the form of coercion.
3. You are a VOLUNTEER. As such, you are in a superior position. The LDS church is asking you for your help. If you chose to extend your kindness to the church by VOLUNTEERING to perform some kind of function, the church needs to understand its position as the recipient of charity. If any mission president, stake president, bishop or other so called leader makes demands of you, remind him that beggars can't be choosers and he is in no position to demand anything of you, AN ADULT VOLUNTEER.
4. Money + passport + clear thinking = freedom.
You are an adult, you are a volunteer, there is no binding contract. You can be a missionary on Sunday and a tourist the rest of the week if you so choose. You don't need their permission to be a missionary. You can go knock doors anywhere you want at anytime without anyone's permission, blessing, calling, or setting apart. You don't need anyone's permission to be a tourist at anytime. You can tour anywhere you choose at anytime. It's your belief system that both limits and empowers you.
5. In the United States, they cannot 'send' you home. They can only coerce you into agreeing to go home. In the USA, you have the option of telling the mission president you will go home on your schedule, not his. If he has trouble understanding that, I'm certain the local police will help him understand the you are a FREE ADULT, not an indentured servant.
6. I'm not sure about the visa requirements in a foreign countries as far as a mission president being able to send you home. Research the law before you go so you'll know what kind of legal power a mission president has in the country you are going to, but in the USA they cannot 'send' you home.
7. Take a credit card, a telephone calling card, and a photocopy of your passport with you. That's what any rational adult would do. DO NOT TELL ANYONE about them. They are your ticket out. Keep your options open.
8. Take care of yourself. Make sure you get enough sleep. Make sure you eat right. Make sure you are safe. Make sure you are healthy. Make sure you keep private matters private. That all sounds obvious. What isn't obvious to some missionaries is that obeying rules does not relieve one from natural consequences. If people around you are not allowing you to take care of yourself, they are not your friends. Simply tell them that you are not available for whatever it is they want you to do. If they as why, simply say you don't care to discuss that. Do not present your reasons for debate. You are an ADULT. You do not have to defend your reasons for your decisions. You do have to live in the environment you create with your decisions.
9. Print this out and take it with you.
One more thing. You know that story about putting fleas in a jar with the lid on and after awhile they'll only jump high enough to not hit the lid? When you take the lid off and the fleas won't jump out of the jar.
As long as you think of yourself as anything other than an INDEPENDENT ADULT, you will never jump out of the jar.