Every exmo I have known who had a 7 or 8 year old has had trouble with TBMs over the baptism problem. So I'd like to warn parents to be ready for:

1. TBM relatives cornering the kid and strong arming him/her to want to be baptized. Some grandparents try to bribe kids with bikes or trips to Disneyland. Others use fear of Satan or losing the love of God.

2. Neighbors, friends, and mormon near strangers like to jump in and try to lure kids into the font. This can happen at school or soccer practice without a parent's knowledge and sometimes TBMs tell kids they'll arrange everything and not to tell their parents.

3. There are also those who see opportunity as a sign from God. They see a kid playing in his/her yard or at the grocery store and they barge over, kneel down, peer straight in their face, and rave about the glories of being baptized. It's cult first and doesn't seem to matter to many TBMs about parental rights or preferences.

I suggest that exmo parents be vigilant. Warn kids that this might happen and tell them how to respond. If it's a nice person they know well, they could say, "I have to talk only to my parents about church stuff."

If it's a stranger, "I don't talk to strangers. Goodbye," as they stride off to find a parent or teacher to help them.

If it's a near-stranger or someone they don't like, "No! This is a family matter. Goodbye."

Parents need to have their own ready comebacks. "It's under control. No worries. Hot enough for you? Take care of that skin rash. Bye."

"Mother, I appreciate the casseroles and peach jam, but I don't need advice on baptism. I will talk to Johnny about it and I don't want him to get conflicting messages or start seeing you as an enemy or meddler."

"Excuse me, I don't know you well and I can't allow you to come between me and my child."

Whatever comebacks work are fine depending on the situation. But many exmos are stunned when this happens and are left speechless unless they preplan.

Just a word to the wise.

We will be facing this decision in the next few months. I've been playing with the idea of having our own private non-morg ceremony and then tell--extended family that "yeah we did it, it was great". I guess that won't help the local ward as their records won't confirm. It will help the child though-they will be like "huh? I already did that, my dad did it on my birthday".

Also, many exmos try hard to make the eighth birthday more special than other birthdays. They might plan a big party, a nice outing, or a very special longed for gift.

Yeah, for family, I let them know it's none of their damn business how I raise my children. For strangers (anyone else) I tell them to f**k off. I'm not nice about it. There is no being nice when someone sticks their nose where it doesn't belong. And the f-bomb, isn't reserved for non-family. It's been dropped on family. Works for me and I don't have problems. My son is 10 and doing just fine not being dunked and no one ever questions me or him about it.

it demonstrates to your child that he/she's important to you. Your child sees that you will defend them which is a way of showing love and dedication.

If a child is important and if we think mormonism is a cult, we want to defend and protect kids from that bad influence.

My MIL was horrified our boys were baptised Catholic...then at 8, Mo baptism time...first communion.

But then she's always horrified at anything we do lately.

stormy

I just got an e-mail from a tbm friend. Her dd is getting baptized and she was sending out invites. She included in the invite that they are now doing "back to back baptisms and there isn't even enough time for refreshments." Why does this not surprise me.

Like I said in another post about this subject, it horrifies me that strangers would actually talk to a child they don't know without the parent's prior permission! What's important though is that you don't just tell your kids what to say. Practice it! Then when the situation does happen, your child will feel empowered to respond. He/she will have the words & the attitude in their mind & most importantly, they'll KNOW that Mom & Dad are behind him! Some kids are taught over & over that they MUST be polite to adults. So knowing what to say & with a little practice, they'll know what to do & know they won't get into trouble with Mom & Dad. Empowering your child can be one of the greatest gifts you can give them. If it was me, I would raise my voice, not to a yell, but LOUD, and say, "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK/TOUCH TO MY CHILD WITHOUT MY PERMISSION & ESPCIALLY HIS PERMISSION! NEVER BOTHER OR ANNOY ANYONE ELSE'S CHILD AGAIN!" Then leave but remember to explain the situation to your kid. They may think that they did something wrong & they'll need to know that your anger isn't directed at them!

Excellent advice, you guys.

Good avice. I especially like the one where you say...I have to talk ONLY to my parents about church stuff. That is kid language and if practiced, I think it could get lots of people off their back.

One simple answer, yes we will, we are just waiting for when my son/daughter is ready. I know, but I want him/her himself/herself to get baptized. So don’t bother and let him/her decide himself/herself.