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Posted by: Schopenhauer's Coat ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 12:25PM

Astounding evidence that professional wrestlers may have interbred with primates in the recent past.

The following information is based on articles I read in Playbill and Pent Up magazines twenty years ago.

"We took a representative sample of wrestlers from RAW and WWF and looked at factors such as upper body strength, hairiness, facial expressions and leg length," said Prof. Denise Ouevre "We found an inescapable conclusion - many wrestlers may have tried to date chimps and baboons in the recent past."

A survey of wrestling fans yielded even more surprises. One fan who submitted a saliva sample turned out to be 80% Neanderthal, a figure Ouevre admitted was, "far lower than we expected."

Anatomically Modern Humans, Homo Sapiens Sapiens, self described "Sappy Sappy Men" were interbreeding with several other species of primates including Homo Luchero, Papio Anubis and Pan Troglodytes 1500-3000 years ago, creating hybrid breeds of wrestlers who were active from the Roman and Aztec periods onwards.

Homo sapiens is the only human species. The extinction of homo luchero adds one more intriguing, perhaps unanswerable question to the story of their evolution—why do people still watch this fake crap on TV?

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 12:44PM

IN ~ on science thred ~

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 12:44PM

>> "why do people still watch this fake crap on TV?"

It's history! Like watching real mastodons fight. I suppose you think Jurassic Park is fiction?

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 12:59PM

Homo sapiens is the only human species. The extinction of homo luchero adds one more intriguing, perhaps unanswerable question to the story of their evolution—why do people still watch this fake crap on TV?
They watch it because they don't know the difference

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 01:11PM

There was a WWF show in my city 30 years ago and I took my then 12 year old son. The crowd, many of whom believed it was real were more entertaining to watch than the wrestlers!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2021 01:11PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

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Posted by: Tyson Dunn ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 01:57PM

He was only in his mid-late-60s when he started to go. Years of dialysis and other infirmities had treated him poorly, but it was ultimately a polyp operation gone bad that did him in.

Sadly, his problems obscured my grandmother's own degenerating memory for much longer.

Tyson

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Posted by: smirkorama ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 02:02PM


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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 02:05PM

+1

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 08:03PM

                         

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: May 06, 2021 12:44AM

WWW is not real ?

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: May 06, 2021 10:54AM

Their blood is.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: August 20, 2021 11:38AM

As fo me! I don't care how they breed because I don't watch wrestling!

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Posted by: Humberto ( )
Date: August 20, 2021 12:06PM

Most people who insist that it's real do so because they're playing up the gag.

I've convinced myself of this in order to maintain my optimistic view of humanity...

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: August 20, 2021 03:34PM

I've seen evidence of what happens when you combine a pro wrestler with water fowl. Not to give too much away, you get something like an inordinately tall and muscular medic.

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: August 20, 2021 06:58PM


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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: August 20, 2021 06:59PM


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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: August 20, 2021 07:40PM

You can say that again!

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: August 23, 2021 05:41PM


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Posted by: Curelom Joe ( )
Date: August 20, 2021 08:30PM

Back before most people in the western states had ever heard of New York-based WWF, later WWE, there were numerous local circuits and promotions with (where we lived in the far west) weekly one-hour TV shows on Saturday afternoons, presenting several matches pre-recorded in some TV studio, I guess. I was 10 or 11. My dad and I always watched the program. In retrospect that was very decent of him; he was cerebral, an author, and surely not very interested himself, but I was in the barbaric condition of young boyhood, and was always interested.

While he was turned away looking at something else, a decent, honest wrestler was defeated with an evil trick by a villainous wrestler. In later years I learned that the losing man (who DID seem to lose every match I ever saw him in, despite his honest and upright ring behavior) was what is still called a "jobber," and the villainous wrestler was one of the puts-butts-in-seats, swaggering cheats, called "heels. Heels are the flamboyant, abrasive, proudly unprincipled, guys-fans-love-to-hate crew that keep the wrestling-entertainment business so hugely profitable, by constantly ignoring the rules and inflaming the rubes. By contrast, a jobber's job is to put up a good show but lose to the colorful heels, without having any particular persona or personality at all, being only an interchangeable wrestler-widget in the machine.

I was so mad that I hurled the book in my lap at the television screen--fortunately it was a half-hearted throw, and I was only a young boy, and the book bounced off. But my father had heard the thump and looked around and seen.

FATHER (completely nonplussed, and horrified by the possibility that I could have cracked the screen): "Why did you do that?"

SON (still furious, anguished by the injustice): "So-and-so cheated by [I long ago forgot how] to What's-his-name, and won the match!"

FATHER (now compassionate, although probably trying hard not to laugh at me): "Son, son! You don't think it's REAL, do you?"

Then he quickly brought me up to speed on the truth about pro wrestling, like the serpent marketing the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. And life went on. In time, I became a dad myself as well as a Curelom rancher and packer; a dozen years ago my old man, full of years and honors, left this fallen world....

SON-GROWN-OLD (sobbing alone in his den in 2021): "BUT SOMETHING INSIDE ME DIED THAT DAY...!"

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Posted by: Crying Wrestling Fan ( )
Date: August 22, 2021 07:44PM


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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: August 22, 2021 08:22PM

Why do people still watch this fake crap on TV ?

Because it's a morality play.

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Posted by: BYU Wrestler ( )
Date: August 23, 2021 10:28AM

These slobs and whores are NOT wrestlers.

Cael Sanderson, Mark Schultz, John Smith and the like are wrestlers. Real wrestlers - not whores of sport.

These "pro wrestlers" are "rasslers" - and though many may have actually wrestled - and some won Olympic and World Championships as real wrestlers - they choose to be whores for the money.

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