Raised in the church. Went to the same ward in Utah for decades. Generally had a miserable time, but I knew everyone and made friends there.

I thought my Bishop would care a LITTLE bit when I went inactive nearly four years ago. But nope. He hasn't contacted me once and we live 5 minutes away. In fact, no one in ward leadership has.

I'm never going back to that place so I don't really care, but it hurts a little bit after putting in so much effort for years and accepting every calling.

I can understand why you feel hurt. Mormons give so much of their time and money to the Mormon church. They're told they are chosen and special. So if you stopped attending after years of being an active Mormon and no one noticed, it must hurt.

Were you a big tithing payer? If not, LDS Inc doesn't care about you.

Be grateful the bishop is leaving you alone. Would you rather be love-bombed with notes and cookies and invitations to activities?

Maybe the bishop can't keep track of all the members leaving.

When I was a newly reactivated member just out of college, I was called to the position of ward executive secretary and accordingly sat on the ward council.

In one of our ward council meetings, we were discussing the inactive families in the ward and who we would be working on reactivating next.

When I raised the point that I was active, but my parents weren't and to me seemed like low-hanging fruit, I was told that, no, the ward wouldn't be wasting their time on my parents. When I asked why, they had no reasons other than that they had tried before and they had failed.

As I pointed out, it was news to me that they had tried at all, because that surely had never been evident during my inactive period, but they were insistent that they were making no more efforts, and that, as an active member, I could handle the matter myself.

I probably should have left the church then, for their callousness, but I somehow managed to accept that and stupidly go on to serve a mission. So wrong.

Tyson

Two of my former bishops went inactive.

My Dad was inactive my whole life >50 yrs
Nobody cared. He always had home teachers, who never, in over 50yrs asked him what he believed because they didn’t want to know.
Until he died.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2021 11:45PM by schrodingerscat.

This affirms - validates that Church only cares about their Royalty, individual members of the rank & file are of little if any notice to the corp.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2021 09:26PM by GNPE.

The bishop has two comcerns
1. get the money and send it to Salt Lake City
2. Hammer the Book of Mormon

I resigned over a decade ago, and DH stopped attending at the same time, as he did not religion to become an issue for us. We've been doing just fine without the church.

Imagine my shock last night, at about 8:30, when the doorbell rang. DH wasn't feeling well and had gone to bed, but I was sitting on the sofa, cat on my lap, reading from my Kindle.

There were THREE missionaries plus a guy I've known since moving here in 1989. And of course, per standard protocol, they hadn't bothered calling first.

They asked to speak to DH. I told them he wasn't feeling well, and had gone to bed already. They were just brimming over with loads of goodwill, offering to do chores around the yard or helping if we needed errands run.

I thanked them for their kind offers, said goodnight, and closed the door.

I think it is TERRIBLY rude to just drop in like that, without calling first. Not to mention dangerous. There was nothing between us except a screen door and a security door. If I'd had COVID, I could have easily infected all of them. They weren't wearing masks.

I wouldn't open the door for someone not wearing a mask. You can talk to people through closed doors. I don't open my door to strangers anyway, unless they have a plausible reason for being there.

I had the same sort of experience, 3 suited men showed up unannounced after 9. Coming to snoop after me. Starting off with the questioning, all about my job and a sort of sneer at what I do for a living. Like it's a bit amusing. I suppose generally men base their egos on how well other men are doing in their lives. It's an uncontrolable nasty thing that self esteem is based on.

I apologize for not knowing your story of becoming inactive.

I was disciplined by the church after calling law enforcement on the missionaries for using my fence as public property to lock up their bicycles. I was put on a do not contact list without stake presidency approval.

I am considered extremely hostile to church members because I told missionaries to get the F- off my property. They refused so I continued to swear and hurt their feelings.

I had a fairly similar if different experience. I went back to Church after years of being inactive.

Really tried to get involved. Asked for a calling to get involved, to go to the temple. And I'd keep getting told yes its in hand we'll sort it for you.

Nothing ever came of it. I can only assume as I'd been inactive a few time prior that they just assume I'm not worth the effort now.

I left and have no intention of returning.

I take it as a compliment that I have had little to no contact throughout the years. I did get a letter after several years out telling me what my ward budget was and a week later a new bishop came by to introduce himself which gave me the opportunity to ask why my name was even on any records they might have.

Slade Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm never going back to that place so I don't
> really care, but it hurts a little bit after
> putting in so much effort for years and accepting
> every calling.

You do care and that is okay. Dealing with the hurt and the anger because you do care is what this place is for.

Do you want them pestering you? You left, they are respecting your wishes and leaving you alone. You should be pleased not hurt. If they had pestered you to return to church you would probably complain about the Bishop not respecting your wishes to leave and be left alone.

Might be a bit harsh but you are coming off as a bit of an attention seeker.

He/ they/ the mormon 'church' wants it to hurt... so it isn't real anyway, so just ignore it, and forget it/ 'em.

The thing is, YOU are ACTIVE in life.
THEY are INACTIVE. Inactivity sucks!

LIFE is an activity. Not a motion.
Mormons just don't fully participate.
Therefore, they are inactive.
Only going through the motions.

Your OLD bishop is indoctrinated NOT TO CARE, just like all "active" morons.

He didn't care because he never cared, and he saw it coming, and so was probably somewhat of a relief in a passive aggressive toward away.

Go forward in life
While he marches time

is it possible the Bp had seen a lot of resignations & was somewhat dulled?

With Nelson and the growing number of resignations, the bishop may be directed not to chase the lost sheep anymore. Not only not worth the effort (maybe 5% of people who have left actually return), it may cause others to follow those leaving.

I always felt like a door mat at church. Never appreciated and told that I would never amount to much. I tried my best to fit in, but I never did.