Sort of surprised that there isn't a thread about the scheduled conference for this weekend.

My TBM mom is bummed. Her ward has been meeting virtual because of 16 positive COVID cases. There's a bunch of members who refuse to get vaccinated. The stake president (a medical doctor) ordered her ward to go virtual and lots of members are upset about it. Of course these members were refusing to wear masks at church so the virus passed like a wildfire.

So any thoughts?

Will Holland continue to tell off the members?

I predict GC will be unbearably boring.

I had to sit through last October's conference because I was spending time with a TBM friend. The speakers all talked in the same sing-songy fake humble voice. They regurgitate the same garbage every year.

Regurgitation of nothingness.

Outstanding description.

I predict Bednar will try to gather more people to GC with "The Spirit."

I predict Holland will come in with guns blazing and call the chosen to repentance.

I predict Nelson will won't be a lazy learner and push discipleship to a statue until his light pen gives out.

I predict Oaks will just be a godly gremlin and won't give a talk with any grins in it. Just in time for Halloween.

    What's the Vegas over/under line on how many temples will be announced?

    I giggle when I think about the fact that a 2018 temple, a 2019 temple, and a 2021 temple still do not have locations selected yet! They are, respectively, Russia (not even a city announced), Budapest, and Brussels.

    The Mighty Work drunkenly stumbles forward...

Possible record of temples announced. Why? Very likely the equities markets will crash and the church either loses money or it cashes out. The church will have cash to burn. It can spend a lot on temples and that seems to be all the church does anymore.

Russia is massively distrustful of foreign churches, and pretty much has no interest in promoting anything other than the Russian Orthodox Church as they actively suppress other religions.

As for Hungary, it's quite possible that given the church's history of supporting authoritarian regimes, maybe Orbán and Fidesz view them as useful patsies rather than foreign infiltrators.


If Brussels was announced this year, then it's a nothingburger that the exact site hasn't been determined.

Unlike other properties where they can convert an existing plot of land into a stake center and temple, the Grimbergen property on the Brussels border is way too small.

(And I hope the Brussels address at Square Ambiorix is a missionary apartment, because otherwise that's too much like Paris-Lilas on the ground floor of an apartment building.)

They'll probably need to acquire a more rural property to get enough space.

Tyson

Wow. A man who knows Europe and its politics well.

This post is a great contribution.

He knows more about hungry than I do.

temples. My neighbors are on a trip to Ecuador. They were so ver happy to be able to attend a session at the temple around where they are. I am like, "HUH?" Why? Far too many temples.

Watch Seinfeld instead. It's also a show about nothing.

And---it has Elaine! Who is almost as self obsessed as the Gerontocracy.

My son talked me into watching it. I found it very depressing. Quite a statement on the government, but she does a great job of being horrible.

I cannot wait to hear about the evils of "pruhnography" from one of the token female speakers. Funny that they are too uncomfortable to even say the word correctly. That always makes me giggle for some reason.

It's always the priesthood holders who have the porn problem. Never the sisters but they are so boring they probably don't know what an orgasm is.

They will reinforce the notion that Mormonism stands as the last platoon in a global war. They have kicked out all the soldiers who might try to negotiate and fraternize with the enemy, and they have succeeded in making the church in the image of Ezra Benson (sorry, Steve). They will tell us how The World is a battleground for which we need to prepare our children. They will subtly tell us that temples are outposts and rest areas for the true soldiers. General Conference will not be pretty this time.

Oh my goodness gracious me
what a tangled web we weave
as we continue to decieve

Can't have a RM Nelson GC without new temple news; I think this year he will simply announce places starting with 'O', so...

Oman,
Oxfordshire,
Outer Mongolia,
Oxnard,
Oildale.

'Doubt your doubts" is so yesterday.

'Ponderize' fizzled out.

'Covenant Path' is getting old.

'Global Faith Leader' is silly.

'Use your muskets' is just mean.

WHAT will be the catch phrase for this conference?

My drunk catchphrase prediction:

Nelson gets up and says "I'm the prophet, I can do whatever I want, so BLOW ME!"

Alliterated allegories will all-too-often fall asunder.

Monotone moronic metaphors will miraculously and masturbatorily miss their marks.

Philosophic phallic pharisee priesthood peddlers will perform perfect fellatio upon their pornography ponderizing prophet.

I'll pop the popcorn.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2021 01:10AM by cheezus.

cheezus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Alliterated allegories will all-too-often fall
> asunder.
>
> Monotone moronic metaphors will miraculously and
> masturbatorily miss their marks.
>
> Philosophic phallic pharisee priesthood peddlers
> will perform perfect fellatio upon their
> pornography ponderizing prophet.
>
> I'll pop the popcorn.

BEST EFFING POST I'VE READ HERE IN A LONG LONG TIME!!! Yes, I'm shouting Hosanna for it!

Thanks.

Walked past the TV and heard Skeletor (Oaks) going on about the need to go to church. All I heard was a big whiner yelling "You need us damnit!!!! You fucking need us...nnnnoononono don't stop coming to church. It wasn't all that good not being aboe to go to church. C'mon damnit!! remember how much you liked church.. you still do!!! Pleeeeeeasseeee!!! Whaaaaaawhaaaaaaaa come back!!!! Come baaaaaaaaaaaacck!!" (close quote)

    I hope that ghawd prompts one of his mighty servants to come down HARD on soaking...  Soaking is something up with which the church should not put!!  It is acute misuse of the male priesthood!  It is idle mischief and any woman who allows it should have the stuffing beat out of her; let there be no wiggle room!!  

  But I wonder...why did JoJu name it the Relief Society?

So, I flipped by conference on TV this morning while enjoying my morning coffee. In 30 seconds I wanted to barf after hearing Munster Nelson give the introduction to conference. He said people are having trouble knowing were to get truth. Everyone should listen to them for absolute truth instead! Unbelievable.

Next Deputy Dawg Holland got up and started babbling about some Bible, BoM and T.S. Eliot quotes. I have no idea what we was going on about, jumping from one scriptural tidbit to another. He seems to be implying that love of God unites which is colossally laughable. He started to tear up and testify about staying the course and following the high priests or whatever. Nothing burger.

Next a woman named Cordon (Young Women some such) spoke. Jesus loves us. You're special. Study your patriarchal blessing to know your purpose. Ummm, no thanks. I can create my OWN purpose. She sounded like she was talking to 12 year olds.

I couldn't take any more than that. Nothingness is spot on.

They seem to be making a show about following rules for COVID.

T.S. Eliot quotes?

There was just one very short T.S. Eliot quote. It was not memorable and hardly related to whatever the heck he was talking about, IMO. He probably just wanted to look like he was including smart-people stuff.

Not a prediction per se but wouldn't having a large scale event such as conference during an ongoing pandemic with variants be somewhat dangerous and contributing to illness even if scaled down somewhat?

If vaccinations do not entirely prohibit getting covid or passing it on, why would they have a choir sing? Isn't the act of singing one of the most obvious ways to transmit a virus by literally opening wide and expressing viral germs?