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Posted by: Leavin' on A Jet Plane? ( )
Date: October 15, 2021 10:07PM

Long time lurker, first time poster here.

I haven't been to the Crutch since last year. That pissed my wife off.

I've started going to the Catholic Church. That pissed her off.

I'm taking the RCIC and will be baptized on Easter Vigil. Oh you better believe that pissed her off.

She gave me an ultimatum: drop the Catholics, come back to Crutch or she'll leave me.

Sixteen years of marriage, all over a fake "religion," one that I was stupid enough to join and then go through the temple for. Four kids, marriage....all down the drain. Well, hell, at least I can walk about the flat butt naked.


I packed the rest of her stuff into a U-Haul. Destination? Who cares!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/15/2021 11:14PM by leavinasap.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 12:51AM

This sounds like a fake story.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 01:03AM

It does sound a bit cold alright. Who cares about kids too? Hmmmm

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Posted by: Leavin' on A Jet Plane? ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 01:46PM

Well, first of all, it's not fake. Just because you're so arrogant as to think so does not make it so.

As for the kids, three of them are out of the house, so I think they can deal. The other kid's 15, and I'm sure she'll be fine. And anyway, it won't matter, as I'm leaving visitation out of the papers that I hope to file overmorrow.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 01:56PM

I don't think any arrogance was intended by anyone. I had the same reaction about no mention of the kids as most posts of this nature are rife with concern in that regard. I also like the intensity of your post however.

Somehow your story ties in heavily with another discussion on the board titled, "In your opinion is this okay?" Which, is all about hormonal conversion, or, being coerced into converting in order to marry. Many also actually do decide the church is true when they convert for those reasons. Had I done that I would be as thrilled to get out of it as you apparently are.

Still the relief of it being over has to be packed with some pretty deep feelings.

I liked reading your post and hope all is onward and upward from here on out.

If you feel like expanding, I would love to know how your children feel about it all. How Mormon are they? Are they accepting you? Rejecting? Did they serve missions?

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Posted by: Leavin' on A Jet Plane? ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 03:18PM

My eldest chose to not go on a mission because they saw through the BS.

The youngest, however, is a TBM and thinks that her mother and I should just work it out, like magic. She also thinks that I have no right whatsoever to seek out another religion.

As for becoming Catholic, I didn't just wake up one morning and say, "Hey! Today I'll become a Catholic!" It does not work that way.

When I first went to mass, I was completely overtaken by what I would call the TBM's version of the spirit. I never felt the presence of God like I did that April day, even after 30+ years of being a forced TBM.

By the time mass was over, I spiritually exhausted. And prior to, I'd done my research on Catholicism. I'm now in RCIA, which is basically like the Catholics' version of the discussions.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 03:41PM

Always so good to find "your own people." The best is you don't have to compromise yourself. Happy for you.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 10:48PM

I'm so happy to hear that you found your truth. That's pretty special. And you are living your truth, even more special. No wonder your TBM wife left you.

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 01:57PM

congratulations on achieving your 2021 catholic goals OPie ~

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Posted by: outta the cult ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 07:27PM

Entitled mormons and their ultimatums (ultimata). They're shocked when it doesn't go the way they expected it would.

"You're saying you'll leave me? That's not a threat, that's an offer… and I accept." <opens door>

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Posted by: Leavin' on A Jet Plane? ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 08:26PM

This!!!! 1000!

That was her way of dealing with the fact that I am taking the course to become Catholic.

When she realized that I indeed was taking her up on the offer, she panicked. So now she's going home to mom and taking our youngest with her. The wife leaving, I'm okay with. But our daughter? She's going to turn visitation into WWIII, and I don't have the b*lls to contest it.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 10:54PM

You are entitled to joint custody and visitation. Even prisoners are entitled to parenting time. I wouldn't skimp on that. Hire a pit bull of a lawyer if possible.

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Posted by: Josephs Myth ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 07:56PM

Hi lewvinasqp, your health is all we here really care about.

You're in a little bit of a tough spot and likely have been underwater for much much too long. You're pretty tough, if you can keep going as you have in the past you'll probably be able to do almost anything.

I always found myself saying it softly when no one was around, and apparently I was right.

Keep on keeping on..

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Posted by: Leavin' on A Jet Plane? ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 08:29PM

Thanks. What'll really grind the wife's gears is that in yesterday's mass, where they allow us to offer up prayers, I prayed for my wife to be reasonable and that she will allow me to see my baby girl (she's 15, and hates that, but I told her when I'm 90, if I make it there, she's ALWAYS going to be my baby girl!) on a regular basis.

Skype and Facebook, Trillian, etc, just don't compare to in-person visits. She's already texted me saying that if I love her, I'll come back to TSCC and somehow, magically, the marriage will be fixed. :(

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 08:23PM

We've had some pretty far fetched posts on here,long stories even by some posters that we eventually found out were lying.

Myself, my gay husband left me. I was a nonbeliever by the time he left, but it was hell on earth. Sometimes (some 25 years later), he can make it pretty bad still. I'm 64. After what he just did, I'm making my plans. My kids are old enough to leave the house to and that is what I will FORCE HIM TO DO and after that, I have big plans. Something I said I'd never do, but he has pushed me too far. I can't worry about what he'll do with the money we have if I should die or he lies to me like he has so many times.

By the way, his boyfriend is 22 and my husband is 64--just for those who know my story. Yep, 22. His father used to stalk Rick's college students when he was in his 80s. He was arrested a few times. Sounds like father like son . . . .

It has been a fun few weeks. NOT!

I had someone say to me today that aren't I glad I have my kids, though and I said I don't believe what the church teaches, that those are the spirits chosen to be our kids. If I married someone else and I had 2 kids, I think they'd be the same ones I have. Please those gays out there and in the church, DON'T MARRY A WOMAN. And lesbians, don't marry a man.

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Posted by: Leavin' on A Jet Plane? ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 08:31PM

Yeah, I've read some things on here that seem like real whoppers, and not the good kind, so I get it. The guy just seemed like he called me a liar right off the bat.

Oh, well. I don't drink booze (not that there's anything wrong with that), so I'm amped on Vanilla Coke right now, so I'm a lot more chill than I usually am.

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Posted by: newcomer ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 01:12AM

How were people caught lying on here? How pathetic…

And your ex husband… I guess he’s reliving his youth with a young beau.

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Posted by: Tyson Dunn (not logged in) ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 07:20AM

Some posters have been found to be lying about ever having been LDS. Others have turned out to be LDS apologists - as in the guys at FARMS (er, Maxwell Institute) and FAIR.

Still others have been deliberately trying to get posters to say unpleasant things that would make ex-Mormons look bad in a “gotcha” way.

Among the worst, there have been a few who have had elaborate stories about their identities that they ran for years that were 100% fictional. These people have pulled on other posters’ heartstrings causing serious upset when the truth was made known.

So people have a right to be wary when posters’ stories are over-the-top, outré, or too good to be true - even if they prove to be true in the long rum.

Tyson

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 11:06AM

who posted as herself and several pretend family members. Was it Stormy? I bought right into it.

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 12:21PM

Yep.

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 09:30PM

Yes, Stormy and her crew, Pretty One, there have been several over the years. There have also been ones that were 100% and hard to believe so you always have to keep an open mind.

Oh and don't forget Lynch and his smarmy crap.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/17/2021 09:31PM by Susan I/S.

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Posted by: Tyson Dunn ( )
Date: October 20, 2021 05:51PM

Lynch to whom Susan I/S alludes was back around 2005.

I still have folders of information about those folks (or is that binders, pace Romney?), but I slowly grew less interested and stopped paying serious attention about a decade ago.

Generally speaking, the trolling now seems to be blunter and far less interesting than it was back when we had some serious folks like the LDS apologists - who had the wind taken out their sails by the church - as well as some seriously deranged missionary groupies and that ilk.

It's probably better that they're the way they are now.

Tyson

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: October 20, 2021 06:04PM

I always wondered if “paulk” was using RfM to leave a paper trail detailing his wife’s depression in case of her “suicide.”

I hope she’s Okay.

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 11:04AM

And it will work. I know it will. He is actually afraid of me when he does something like this. He and his boyfriend he left with wanted to have me declared nuts and take my kids from me so they could have a little family. My ex didn't dare after I got wind of their plan (besides the fact my therapist had already filed papers with the court for him losing parental rights--that was 1996 or so. It was a hellish time.

He already knows he better do what I have told him he will do. He doesn't act much older than his 22-year-old boyfriend. His boyfriend is quite what? He barely talks. He is 11 of 11 children and afraid of his own shadow. I even have his old boyfriends looking out for the kids and I to make sure we don't get taken again. My ex tried to hide that he had a pension from me for YEARS and I found out about 2 years ago and he knows I will divorce him and get half if he steps out of line. I needed insurance and now I'll have Medicare AND I didn't want him to have court-ordered visitation with the kids because of who he was with back then. He could see them ANY TIME he wanted as long as his boyfriend wasn't around, but he hardly ever chose to see his kids. Yep. He was more concerned about his boyfriend. He missed out on at least 10 years of their lives.

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Posted by: newcomer ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 11:17AM

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…”

You go girl!

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: October 18, 2021 01:50AM

I worked for Social Security for three decades, so I know a bit about this.

You've probably been doing some research on your own, but in a nutshell, here's what I would recommend for a newbie: You get Parts A and B when you sign up. Part A covers inpatient hospitalization and hospice. Part B covers PART of outpatient doctor visits and procedures. Part D helps with drugs. I STRONGLY recommend getting a good Medicare Supplemental plan. I've had Blue Cross/Blue Shield Medicare Supplement for ages, and am very happy with them.

Happy retirement!!

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: October 18, 2021 01:53AM

Thanks for this Catnip. It is SO confusing. I may need to contact you off board about this because I am so lost! It is nice to have someone you TRUST that will cut through the crap for you :)

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: October 16, 2021 11:50PM

I think some posters are worried about you getting out of the frying pan into the fire (switching from one religion to another).

If you're happy then good for you.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 07:39AM

Sure, this is a recovery board. Mormonism is pathological. It doesn't really qualify as a religion. It's a cult that claims to be a religion.

We don't throw out science because of bad science. Should we throw out religion because of bad religion? Can man live by bread alone?

Religion, like anything in life, is what you make out of it. One can make something good out of Catholicism. This woman has serious problems if she can't see that. Those problems are caused by Mormonism, which is the cause of much human misery in general.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 12:22PM

I'm a born and raised Catholic. I never got much out of the mass, but I'm glad that you do. The Catholic community has lots of positives, and they are a warm and welcoming people.

My advice to you is to take Catholicism, and especially confession, with a grain of salt. Don't feel that you have to strive for a spotless soul. If you do this, the guilt will really get to you. Very few religions can induce guilt like the Catholics. Just strive to be a normal, good person who doesn't sweat the small stuff. I honestly think that the Catholics who do the best, and are happiest with the church, take this approach.

Also please bear in mind that Catholicism is a "big tent" religion. Catholics are not afraid to have a different opinion about things than the pope, and to take a cafeteria approach. They respect the pope and will listen to him, but don't always do what he says to do. I think this is the biggest hurdle for ex-Mormons who convert to Catholicism. Mormonism is very black-and-white, and Catholicism not so much. This doesn't mean that Catholics who do their own thing are bad Catholics. It's just that the sect as a whole takes a very different approach to their practice of Christianity than the Mormons do.

As far as visitation, I would ask for joint custody. You may get shot down by the judge, but I think it will be meaningful to your daughter if you at least ask. And daughters really need their dads in their teenage years. Outside of the Moridor, joint custody is the normal and usual approach, and I don't think any judge would blink at it outside of allegations of abuse.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: October 17, 2021 06:45PM

In many states, in a divorce proceeding, a judge has to approve/allow the removal of a minor from the state of residence.

…one of those instances where the law tries to be a nice guy…

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: October 18, 2021 02:15AM

I think she wants you back.

Allow me to write the script:

Her ………… “Come back to the church or go to hell, you dirty Catholic bastaaaaaaard!”

You ………… “How could I believe in a church who’d want me to have a wife other than you?”

Don’t say, “just like,” but rather, “other than.”

:D

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Posted by: ALifeExamined ( )
Date: October 20, 2021 03:09AM

So, I have a question for Leavin' on a Jet Plane. Where are you from? Your use of the word, "flat" instead of "apartment" suggests you live, or have lived, in Great Britain.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: October 20, 2021 05:16AM

Good catch. I missed that. Child custody laws in GB will be different.

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Posted by: Tyson Dunn ( )
Date: October 20, 2021 05:59PM


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