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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 29, 2023 03:44PM

    ...254 years would pass before the eighth billion human make the leap.

    If you had "oh, the humanity!" lined up by age, oldest to jump first, one would have to consider the possibility that the line would never reach its end!  I believe this partially explains why *fecund* is one of my most favorite words ever!  I give us a lot of credit!!  It's like we don't know to give up!!

    If I were invested (along with The Cat) in a pan-Galactic slavery organization, I'd have our harvesting ships visit the Earth once every decade to reap a hundred million in-their-prime humans; talk about low investment, high returns!!

    This brings me to the RfM point of this post:  will the Church of Jesus Christmas of Laundry-day Saints survive contact with emissaries from the Sultan of Betelguese, when they arrive on Earth to barter for used, but still in good shape, humans?

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: January 29, 2023 05:15PM

The church might be okay if the emissaries are looking for virgins. Not great, but okay. If not getting laid gets you a free trip to Kolob, that's not a bad deal.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 29, 2023 05:49PM

You didn't take into consideration who might survive.

Also, the last one would have to be a descendent of an earlier jumper so obviously the calculation would have changed.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: January 30, 2023 02:32PM

That one human must really be hurting.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 30, 2023 02:59PM

It's the climb back up that's the real drag!!!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 30, 2023 03:14PM

Humans are far more efficient than that, elderly canine. They tend to jump off cliffs in large numbers at the same time.

And whenever that happens, the sharks throw a party.

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 30, 2023 03:25PM

Brothers and Sisters we're looking for volunteers to help clean at the bottom of the cliff. Will you sign up to help this Saturday morning?

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Posted by: wowbagger ( )
Date: January 30, 2023 04:25PM

Next time I come from outer space, you'll know it's me!

I will greet you with "Elder Old Dog! You're a jerk, a complete kneebiter."

Might be a while, depending on where "Jesus" falls in my current iteration of insulting the universe in alphabetical order.

I guess "Gladys" will meet me first

---Bowerick Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged---

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 30, 2023 04:32PM

> I will greet you with "Elder Old Dog! You're a
> jerk, a complete kneebiter."

Yeah, that's too much information. You two should get a room.

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Posted by: basejumper ( )
Date: January 31, 2023 04:37PM

Are there enough cliffs?

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: January 31, 2023 05:38PM

It sounds like we'd better get started.

smirk

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 31, 2023 05:37PM

How about if we up that to 10 a second. Or, better a hundred. A thousand?

And---I want to be on the committee to decide who goes first. Yea, even the chairman. I already have a partial list drawn up.

All "Previously Owned" humans, AKA ExMos, will get a pass.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 31, 2023 05:52PM

"Previously owned humans."

Love it.

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Posted by: Xenu ( )
Date: February 01, 2023 11:25AM


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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: February 01, 2023 01:18PM

Do you sell Nike shoes? We might need official comet shoes for our jump.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: February 01, 2023 01:20PM

How about we all get matching pogo sticks?

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Posted by: I ( )
Date: February 02, 2023 03:02AM

I don't have that long [to fall]...
I'm still climbing!

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