Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
My shelf started to break when Native Americans didn't have any Hebrew blood.
It further broke during an anthropology of Mormonism class and finding things like, the Mormon Doctrine book had over a thousand doctrinal errors in it. And he was told not to republish it. And he said, F.U. I'm doing it anyway. OK, maybe not the swear part.
But that didn't fit the rosy, Jesus comes and tells us what to do, and we all pray and feel good about it, part of the quorum of the twelve I had always heard about. And I realized that you could just bully your way around up there and get what you want.
Then I read, No Man Knows My History. And the shelf crashed to the floor. Joseph Smith was just a lazy conman who didn't want to farm and work hard. And loved to boink many women.
I had been attending church pretty regularly, and was teaching Elders Quorum. I started leaking too much truth into the lessons, and was released. Then I quoted Gordon B. Hinckley in Sunday school in a way that raised eyebrows. Then the bishop sent me an email telling that I had made a error of logic to explain it away. And all I did was quote a prophet.
That coincided with moving out of the ward boundaries, and I never went back ever again.
They sicked the missionaries on me. But I taught them too much truth and shook them, and they had them stop coming.
Two years later, I moved out of the country. Now I haven't even seen a Mormon church building in thirteen years. And other than missionaries on the street rarely, I haven't even seen a Mormon in all that time.
Almost six years ago I posted about the trauma of being banned from the funeral of the only family member that I was close to. And divorcing my family because of it. I've since blocked every relative I have on fb. I knew that they wouldn't feel safe around me anyway, like I might drag them or a child down to hell with me. So it was easier to just be a total orphan and not try to straddle family issues.
So by now, I really have zero connection to Mormonism, other than my former lived experience. Nobody at all that I know now, other than my wife who I met after, even knows that I ever was a Mormon. I'm that far out and gone.
So how is life that far out? Fantastic!
Contrary to the way Mormons taught, it isn't a bleak world. Where God doesn't bless you anymore because You don't pay tithing and on and on.
I have far more money than anyone in my family now. And they were all ahead of me financially when I left. I'll retire before 60, they'll work all their lives. That bit about how the only way you are making it, is because God blesses you for paying tithing is such a con. Like street hustler level con.
We are good people. We don't lie steal or any other unpleasant things with regards to other people. We are kind good people. Everyone from neighbors, bosses, to the restaurants and stores we patronize love us and go out of their way for us. We make our own good luck.
So much different than the bleak dark world out there that is always taught when they talked about being in the world, but not of the world etc. It's bright and rosy as hell out in the world. That was more bull shit lies to manipulate you into staying and giving your money.
I have no belief that there is a God out there controlling the universe. And luckily my wife doesn't either. We're not good people out of fear of going to hell. We're good people just because we like other good people. And want to be like the ones we like.
Found that nudity was much more fun than garments. Haven't been to a nude beach, but both of us would walk down one no problem. We both get full body nude massages on vacations, and enjoy it. So I'm a long way away from the hiding your body with garments at all times stage.
Having a drink in a social atmosphere is really fun, bright, and happy. So different from the dark brooding places that were always alluded to.
Having a spouse who didn't grow up Mormon, and has absolutely no sexual hangups, like guilt, to get over is another huge bonus.
Inside the church, all of my time was rigidly controlled. Between what you had to do, meetings, home teaching, cleaning the building, preparing lessons, getting kids to actives, etc. And what you felt guilty for not doing enough of. Your "free time" really belonged to them.
Now, except for going to work, with extremely good working hours, we do whatever the hell we want! No outside entity is making demands on us once we leave work. We are so free to do what we want. With no guilt!
And all the, "Bad people" out there? They are more fun, smarter, less judgmental, and just far better to hang out with than ward members. Every social conversation doesn't morph into church or callings, ever. People are real.
Very long story short, life is so much better out! So, so, so much better!
If you are new here and just getting out, soon it will get better. And it will just keep getting better.
It further broke during an anthropology of Mormonism class and finding things like, the Mormon Doctrine book had over a thousand doctrinal errors in it. And he was told not to republish it. And he said, F.U. I'm doing it anyway. OK, maybe not the swear part.
But that didn't fit the rosy, Jesus comes and tells us what to do, and we all pray and feel good about it, part of the quorum of the twelve I had always heard about. And I realized that you could just bully your way around up there and get what you want.
Then I read, No Man Knows My History. And the shelf crashed to the floor. Joseph Smith was just a lazy conman who didn't want to farm and work hard. And loved to boink many women.
I had been attending church pretty regularly, and was teaching Elders Quorum. I started leaking too much truth into the lessons, and was released. Then I quoted Gordon B. Hinckley in Sunday school in a way that raised eyebrows. Then the bishop sent me an email telling that I had made a error of logic to explain it away. And all I did was quote a prophet.
That coincided with moving out of the ward boundaries, and I never went back ever again.
They sicked the missionaries on me. But I taught them too much truth and shook them, and they had them stop coming.
Two years later, I moved out of the country. Now I haven't even seen a Mormon church building in thirteen years. And other than missionaries on the street rarely, I haven't even seen a Mormon in all that time.
Almost six years ago I posted about the trauma of being banned from the funeral of the only family member that I was close to. And divorcing my family because of it. I've since blocked every relative I have on fb. I knew that they wouldn't feel safe around me anyway, like I might drag them or a child down to hell with me. So it was easier to just be a total orphan and not try to straddle family issues.
So by now, I really have zero connection to Mormonism, other than my former lived experience. Nobody at all that I know now, other than my wife who I met after, even knows that I ever was a Mormon. I'm that far out and gone.
So how is life that far out? Fantastic!
Contrary to the way Mormons taught, it isn't a bleak world. Where God doesn't bless you anymore because You don't pay tithing and on and on.
I have far more money than anyone in my family now. And they were all ahead of me financially when I left. I'll retire before 60, they'll work all their lives. That bit about how the only way you are making it, is because God blesses you for paying tithing is such a con. Like street hustler level con.
We are good people. We don't lie steal or any other unpleasant things with regards to other people. We are kind good people. Everyone from neighbors, bosses, to the restaurants and stores we patronize love us and go out of their way for us. We make our own good luck.
So much different than the bleak dark world out there that is always taught when they talked about being in the world, but not of the world etc. It's bright and rosy as hell out in the world. That was more bull shit lies to manipulate you into staying and giving your money.
I have no belief that there is a God out there controlling the universe. And luckily my wife doesn't either. We're not good people out of fear of going to hell. We're good people just because we like other good people. And want to be like the ones we like.
Found that nudity was much more fun than garments. Haven't been to a nude beach, but both of us would walk down one no problem. We both get full body nude massages on vacations, and enjoy it. So I'm a long way away from the hiding your body with garments at all times stage.
Having a drink in a social atmosphere is really fun, bright, and happy. So different from the dark brooding places that were always alluded to.
Having a spouse who didn't grow up Mormon, and has absolutely no sexual hangups, like guilt, to get over is another huge bonus.
Inside the church, all of my time was rigidly controlled. Between what you had to do, meetings, home teaching, cleaning the building, preparing lessons, getting kids to actives, etc. And what you felt guilty for not doing enough of. Your "free time" really belonged to them.
Now, except for going to work, with extremely good working hours, we do whatever the hell we want! No outside entity is making demands on us once we leave work. We are so free to do what we want. With no guilt!
And all the, "Bad people" out there? They are more fun, smarter, less judgmental, and just far better to hang out with than ward members. Every social conversation doesn't morph into church or callings, ever. People are real.
Very long story short, life is so much better out! So, so, so much better!
If you are new here and just getting out, soon it will get better. And it will just keep getting better.
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary, DNA!
I am very happy for your happiness.
Very well done!
I am very happy for your happiness.
Very well done!
Bravo! Life is good. Thanks for letting us know how things turned out. Most excellent.
I can finally admit that I'm completely naked under my clothes.
Very nice post! Congratulations!
40 years for me this coming Mother's Day. Went from an early morning court ( back then the only way I knew how to get out) to a different church meeting that highlighted for me the freedom of the day. A Wizard of Oz moment when things went from black and white to brilliant Technicolor.
Are you feeling better Kentish? Last I heard you were traveling and had to go to the hospital. I hope you are home and doing OK!
Thank you for asking, Dagny. Was visiting my daughter's home in Mesquite and developed some kind of bacterial infection. Required two visits to the ER at the small regional hospital. Knocked the stuffing out of me and two weeks later I am still not quite my old contentious self. I will survive but it is a lesson to me of how things can change in a moment, and a reminder that age requires longer to heal.
I know what you mean. Everything takes longer to heal with every passing year.
About 5 years ago, I tripped on something stupid and shattered some bones while rushing around. Life changed in an instant. Any day we wake up without pain or illness is a good day that we shouldn't take for granted.
Glad you got care and are doing OK. You'll be back to your contentious self soon, I'm sure. ;-)
About 5 years ago, I tripped on something stupid and shattered some bones while rushing around. Life changed in an instant. Any day we wake up without pain or illness is a good day that we shouldn't take for granted.
Glad you got care and are doing OK. You'll be back to your contentious self soon, I'm sure. ;-)
Great post-thanks for sharing. I officially resigned my membership just over two years ago, but I have been intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually “out” for more than a decade.