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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 03:18PM

I promise that I won't judge.  


What prompted my inquiry was a revelation, just three minutes ago, and obviously from whoever is in charge "Up There" ... 

"Whoever" doted me with the supremely satisfying revelation that the only way to stand out in Heaven is to be bad at something.

Rather a simple concept, but that's where my game is strongest.

How many of us are already way ahead of the game?!

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 04:03PM

What an angel revealed unto me was similar to yours: Everybody loves a bad boy. Has always been an eternal law.

God loves Lucifer way more than that boring Jesus and is going to send Oaks and Bednar on "missions" (wink wink) the second they show up at the pearly gates. Not even God can stay awake around them. Omni-awake he is not.

The angel told me the secret to the eternities is that at the very least sinning is interesting and God couldn't live without it and that George Carlin was his all time favorite prophet.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 04:25PM

The church is broke.

I am sending all the pennies from my car to President Nelson.

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Posted by: Gordon B. Stinky ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 05:37PM

Moroni appeared unto me and revealed that temple recommends are not needed at the twoo temple, because those who aren't worthy can be "shocked" if they try to enter, and "jerked back." This automagically denies entry to the unworthy.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 06:55PM

God has revealed that everyone is to start sending their tithing to me, dagny, from now on. The shell company fiasco was a sign that God wants me to hold and overlook His money.
PS: If you don't obey, God will not be pleased.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 07:09PM

Honest response here....I would say the only "revelation" I have ever received was when I was back from my mission and was praying, asking if I should marry a particular woman. I was hoping for a resounding yes or no, but what I got was "if you do, you will learn from the experience." That was it.

So I went with that. 15 years of hell later, I divorced her. I did learn from the experience. I learned what I will and will not tolerate and how to set my boundaries with people.

I took what I learned and applied it to my current marriage and it has been great. We're going to "Canard" a French restaurant in Oregon city tomorrow for our anniversary....16 years married and 18 years together. Our actual anniversary date is what ever the day the spring equinox falls on because we got married on the equinox in 2007.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 08:09PM

Roy G Biv Wrote:
------------------------------------------------------

. . .what I got was "if you
> do, you will learn from the experience." That was
> it.

That was my revelation, too!

But I interpreted it as meaning God is indistinguishable from a fortune cookie.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: March 19, 2023 01:58PM

That's what I figured too, except a fortune cookie at least tastes good. What it told me is that whatever choices I make, if I learn from them and use that learning to better myself and improve my life, I'll be OK.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 08:03PM

Here are two revelation/testimony fortifying experiences.

First. I was in an unfamiliar town. Trying to find my friends house and having no luck. I did a quick, God help me prayer.
A gust of wind came up and blew a piece of paper to my feet.

On a whim I picked it up. "We're at the church, address blah" it said. So I shrugged and went to the church following the directions on the paper. And it came to pass my friends were there.

Second.

I bought an old book. Inside was a hand written family history date 7 July 1876 by a Jenny Cook.

It looked like something any family would want. I noticed the genealogy on the last page. There was a habit of naming the kids, sr,,jr and third.

So I took the most recent name, Sam Cook, searched for tht name as Sam Cook the third. And found a match in the town the original Sam Cook was born in.

Lo and behold, that Sam Cook the third was still alive and said the paper was written by a distant relative for thr US centennial.

I promptly mailed the family history to them.

End of story? Nope, week later I was decorating graves and as I headed back to the car, not 5 steps from my grandparents graves was the grave of Jenny Cook Williams, the same person that had written the family history.

On the other hand...my revelation to marry my first wife was a total bust!

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: March 17, 2023 08:05PM

I got a revelation that I will live a long and useful life. lol

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: March 19, 2023 01:21AM

God revealed nothing. ZEEERO. When I asked whats up with god being all quiet (quite out of character, id say), I was told that god answers all prayers, and sometimes the answer is no, and i have faith issues because of some mustard seed and a stationary mountain. Or i didnt ask god the right question. Or I shouldn’t ask for stuff, even like guidance.

Didnt make sense then. Doesnt make sense now.

REVELATION: Its a crock, and attempts to refute that crockitude are further evidence of said crock, and aint no one got time for that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/19/2023 01:23AM by Beth.

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: March 19, 2023 09:23PM

I received a revelation that Jane Seymour was to be my wife but it didn't pan out. What a bummer !

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Posted by: Humberto ( )
Date: March 19, 2023 10:17PM

I was plagued with a "stupor of thought" every time that I contemplated Mormon doctrine.

My "busom burned" the moment that I said to myself, "The only way it makes sense is if Joseph Smith made it all up."

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Posted by: carthagegrey ( )
Date: March 22, 2023 03:28PM

well, in my experience, 1990, the Cincinnati Reds swept the Oakland A's for the MLB world series title. I felt an unbelievable burning in my bosom, proving the Reds were gods baseball team on earth, not long after i had a shot of patron anejo tequila, the same intense burning in the bosom, can only mean, patron is gods tequila on earth, won't even mention the first time i saw Frank Zappa live, i think you get my revelatory experiences, and i'm guessing i'm not alone

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 22, 2023 04:57PM

I came this →▫← close to being involved in fulfilling a personal revelation!

I had the hots for an LM (lady missionary) during my three months in Guadalajara in 1966.  I'd been "Dear John'ed" about five months earlier, which was probably a factor. My senior companion said he was embarrassed for me regarding the goo-goo eyes I was making at her.

She went home about a year before my release. I wrote to her right after it was 'legal' to do so; mission rules prohibited us from writing to each other while in the same mission. We stoked the fires for a couple of months, and then she stopped writing; there was no explanation.

I got home in mid-September of 1967 and went directly to the Y. Three weeks later, there was a mission reunion at the Y, the Friday evening of Conference weekend.  

As the most recent returnee, I was called up to the podium near the end of the speeches part of the reunion, to report on what things were like "now" and to answer questions.  While doing the standard terrific job of public speaking that missionaries are heir to, I spotted her in the audience. (There were at least 300 people there.)

During the socializing period afterward, she approached me and subtly let me know I should ask her out.  We made a date for after the Saturday evening Priesthood session, which was the next day.  I borrowed a car and picked her up at the house where she was staying.  (She was from Ogden.)

We went to a movie and then I took her 'home'.  We did a bit of smooching; I felt her bosoms swelling...  I don't know Whether it was because of my ministrations or the joy of what she was about to reveal to me: She had received a revelation that she was to be married before the end of October.  

She knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that this would come to pass...  There was only one detail missing: it wasn't revealed to her who her husband-to-be was.  She asked me point blank: Was I the one?

So she had come to the reunion in hopes of finding the husband promised to her.  It probably was a bit of a surprise when I popped up.  I don't know what she thought when she saw me up there at the podium, whether it was "oh, shit! Not him!!" or "Yum, yum, and hallelujah!!"  (I have a personal preference.)  As far as I'm aware, I was the only one she approached at the reunion.

After sitting there, absorbing what she'd told me, I suggested to her, watching her bosoms rise and fall, that we, my penis and I, were not at all averse to marrying her but that I'd overruled my baser nature and could not see how it was possible to marry before, at the minimum, the end of the school year!  

This proposal (really, more of a suggestion...) was unacceptable to her because the revelation clearly stated that the marriage would be consummated before the end of October.  I had no problem suggesting that the union COULD be consummated before the end of the month, with the legal niceties left pending.  She considered this unacceptable.

Further efforts on the part of my hands to run wild, i.e., a good RM mauling, were repulsed, and we parted.

Seven years later, summer of 1974, I met up with her again.  She didn't marry until a few years later when she "married" her partner (same-sex marriages weren't legal in Utah until 2014).

Yeah, she was gay and always had been.  She told me a lot of stories about how gay Utah was and how lesbians held a lot of power, both in government and in the church; nothing specific but spoken with a great deal of assurance. She's a decade older than Sheri and Wendy, so I don't know what she might have known about them.

We stayed in touch for a few years, but I never did ask her about the revelation.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 22, 2023 05:07PM

Even if you didn't fulfill her one revelation, you apparently accelerated her discovery of another.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 22, 2023 05:31PM

I wanted to ask her if that one experience at my hands was the turning point in her life, but I didn't want to know, just in case it was.

There's actually a bit more to it; that summer of '74 meeting ended up being very weirdly up close and very personal.  I desperately cling to the hope that I wasn't the cause of her changing teams.

Over the last 45 years, my only input regarding her life was finding her on a Utah "teachers review" website where her service as a Spanish teacher resulted in her being called a "...mean teacher..."  But without knowing the character of the reviewer, how can one judge that accusation?

I mean, just look at you, you meanie...

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 22, 2023 05:41PM

Yes, but in my case we *do* know the character of the reviewer. . .

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 22, 2023 06:08PM

Well, yeah...

A review of my character takes little to no time.

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