Socrates2 asked if anyone had an 'epic resignation.'
While I did not plan an 'epic resignation,' I also did not want a chicken sh-- exit either. I insisted on a face-to-face meeting with my bishop where basically I turned the tables and called the shots. I informed him in no uncertain terms that my resignation was effective immediately and that I no longer recognized his authority over me, and therefore, no disciplinary proceedings would be appropriate or accepted. I also instructed him to process my resignation without delay, and that his failure to do so would result in legal action against the church.
He looked stunned for a moment and said, "It looks like you've done your homework." He then processed my resignation and sent a confirmation letter a short time later - no questions asked.
The biggest take away lesson from this experience was to realize that their authority over me only extends as far as I allow it. As long as I harbor some doubt regarding my own self-worth or their supposed power, they will use that doubt to gain control. But if I express my boundaries with strength and clarity, they have no choice but to comply. Because of religious freedom in this country, we have the right of free association. Our membership ends the minute we SAY it ends. As of that moment, we are no longer subject to their counsel, advice, shaming, or discipline.
My resignation had a very non-epic audience of two, my bishop and my wife, but it was exhilerating. I felt like John Hancock signing the Declaration of Independence or Martin Luther nailing his 95 theses to the church door.
The biggest irony was that my bishop claimed that the Holy Ghost would withdraw from me because of my resignation, and yet immediately after walking away from his office, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. For the first time in many years, I began to have spiritual experiences again. My marriage improved and my relationship with my children deepened. You could say that the Holy Ghost returned to me when I claimed my power and disentangled myself from the church.
Yes, once they realize you've done your homework and are confident in what you believe, they're not sure what to say and don't have much else to do.
I sent in a 3 page resignation letter outlining all the things I learned about church history and all the problems that made me come to the conclusion that the church was not what it claimed to be. I did my best to preemptively answer the predictable responses & questions they might pose to me.
When the Bishop of my parents' ward (I lived with them at the time) called me regarding my resignation letter all he could say (after a little chit chat) was "well, it looks like you know what you are doing. I will process this resignation for you and I wish you luck on your new path in life."
I love your story and your way of expressing it. Yes, you must show who is in authority and it is you once you say you are no longer a member. You can't be bullied becuase you have the power. Love that your marriage and interaction with kids improved once you said goodbye. I do think releasing all that stress of Mormonism can only do one thing - free you up to be who you really want to be. Best wishes.
Thanks to this board for doing my "homework", so when I resigned I knew they had no power or authority over me! And exactly what to do to expedite this process and not have them playing any of their stupid games with me. Like holding a Court of Luv and officially trashing me to the congregation.
I guess these local "Bishops" and leaders are relying on being able to intimidate or guilt people into staying.