Hi guys,

I was born into an outwardly Mormon family, was baptized at 8, went to church every Sunday, gave tithing from my allowance, was a bread-serving deacon, went to seminary every day as a freshman, told to avoid the non-mormons in our Taylorsville neighborhood, did the whole shameful proxy baptisms, and was forced to participate in family home evenings every Monday. The usual.

And I hated it.

From as early as I can remember, I recall thinking how silly it all was (the Bible in general and the BoM in particular) and couldn't stand being forced to waste my time doing what I was doing. Especially as I got older, but even as a young child I wasn't buying what they were selling. So, despite the attempts at indoctrination, it simply never took and when my father booted me from his house and life at age 14, I never looked back and haven't had any association at all with the Mormon church or the chosen ones that populate it since and I've been much happier for it.

The question I have is this:

Since I was baptized, I can only assume I'm on the church rolls and count as one of them. Mentally, I checked out before I even kissed my first girl, but it's never been made official. I feel as if I've excised that part of my life, but it still bothers me a bit that my name is there somewhere and I've considered going through the process to have myself removed...forevermore.

Should I bother though? Is it worth the hassle and the contact I'd have to endure? Do you think there might be some closure to be had there even though I feel as if I gained closure, lo those many years ago? How 'bout it, those that have gone through the process, is it worth it?

I appreciate your time...thanks, and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

If this is bugging you, even a little bit, I'd say take the step and formally resign. Then you can proudly state you are NOT a Mormon.

For me it was more an issue of integrity. Also, I could not stand people thinking "yeah... but you are still a Mormon (at least on paper.)"

I wanted out and to be DONE with the facade. I am a much more honest person today than I ever was as a Mormon. No more dodging the questions or the issues. My sense of integrity is strong and I feel cleaner than I ever did as a Mor(m)on.

That is a very good question. There are many ways of looking at it. They've got you on the roles....it doesn't mean anything to you.....or it is just itching at you...could even do it for vindictive reasons or simply to vindicate yourself. :) I don't think I will do it. For me, I must identify with something. Too many people in society and in the world identify themselves. My new motto is to identify but don't represent. See, I want my family to work out their own mormonism on their own time and own terms. I will let my membership rest there and let them feel how they like about it. They've been too good to me in my life, even though there is tension and even some psychological abuse. I'm doing ok except for outside relationships with people. hmmmm. well, do what makes you feel good. To me, it don't mean a damned thing my membership. But, I know it means a lot to my parents. It may be different for you. ;) Good luck

For many, nothing less than expunging their names from the roles will bring closure. Many others can walk away and not give a rat's behind.

How much do you care?

(I'm a NeverMo and it would gall me no end to have my name on their silly little books; I'd have to have it stricken. But I have relatives who were BIC who have faded away from the church and who couldn't care less.)

Like you I checked out years ago. I had nothing to do with Mormons or the Mo church for more than 30 years until fellowship with this online community of Ex-Mo's.

I had realized earlier that I was annoyed by the falseness & fakeness of Mormonism and walked away from it all, but the fact that they still counted me a member started to rankle. I was visiting and then occasionally posting here for perhaps 5 years, then wrote the letter & kept it on the computer for another year.Posted it one year, eleven months & one week ago.According to them I am still a member!

Even the act of posting the letter freed me. I am legally no longer associated with this deceitful corporation but will celebrate when they recognise it.I feel more authentic now that I have "owned up " to what was just churning inside.

To me it matters. I'm supposed to get my confirmation letter in a few weeks hopefully. I just don't want to be marked as one of their statistics. That was my motivation for sending in the letter. It's also making a statement to my family, so I get the opportunity to explain why I left, etc, and maybe change their minds, or at least get them thinking. Just my opinion. :)

The process of resigning has been streamlined, and many have gone before you.

See the directions here:
http://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm

Basically: Resign via email by following the directions in the above link. Greg Dodge's office will forward your resignation to your local bishop. The bishop may contact you in order to determine if that's what you really want to do, in which case just tell him yes, and to proceed with the paperwork. You do NOT have to meet with the bishop even if he requests a meeting. The bishop sends the paperwork back to the COB and usually within a month or two, you get the notice that your name has been removed.

Note: You are officially out of the church once Greg Dodge's office receives your resignation. The rest is just the church shuffling its own paperwork (although people do like to get the resulting acknowledgement.)

There is no guarantee that the church will cease all contact once you have resigned, but the chances are decent that will be the case.

How are things going for you now? I'm sorry that your dad kicked you out of the house at such a young age. That's tough.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2011 08:58AM by summer.

Only you know if you would feel better being off their roles. I certainly would. You could be hounded 10 yrs. from now. Who wants that. Sorry that your Dad kicked you out. Where would one go at age 14? Anyhow, do what is going to make you happy and give you closure. Just the fact you posted this tells me you don't yet have closure yet.

You asking the question here proves that you are thinking more about this than you want. End it. Use the info that "summer"
posted and email it in. It's fast, easy and it works.

To answer your question. Resigning cost me. Yes it was worth it.

It was worth it for me. Just as others have expressed, I did not want to be affiliated in any way with an organization with which I strongly disagreed. I wanted to say that I categorically was not a mormon and I did not want my name being counted.

As soon as I quit attending, I was left alone for the most part, and I received no contact after I resigned besides the two letters. I don't think my life would have been any different had I not resigned but it was worth it just for the sake of being honest.

Three of my siblings and I are exmos. My two brothers and I have resigned and my sister hasn't bothered. The one brother only did it to satisfy his nevermo wife who HATED the unwelcome church contact.

If the idea continues to well up in you, I'd tend to think resigning would make you feel empowered and free. It's about as much trouble as writing out a grocery list or filling out a form at a doctor's office. Fifteen minutes and you're done.

If someone tries to track you down to bring you back or varify your identity, tell them it's harassment and send them packing. There's no need to varify or explain anything.

Thanks all for your considerate replies and your thoughtfulness. I have a great regard for the members that post here, and you confirm it at every turn.

I thought about it last night after I posted my original question and now I wonder if I'm burdened more than I like to admit. I mean, there's got to be a reason I'm here, right? I go through periods where I scour this board and read everything I can click, run resignation letters through my mind, and catch myself getting angry (bitter is maybe a better description). But then the storm passes, and I can almost forget I was ever a member.

I think I'll write Mr. Dodge now and post my story this afternoon even though some of that laundry probably shouldn't be aired.

Thanks again, you guys. As always, a great help

You mentioned being concerned about the contacts that would have to be made. I'm assuming you mean, perhaps, a visit from your bishop, maybe a call to his office or pressure from various priesthood leaders.

THEY HAVE NO REAL AUTHORITY!! The "priesthood leaders" have no authority other than what you give them. They are NOT messengers or representatives of God. They are ordinary men with made up titles in a bogus church. You are NOT OBLIGATED to do any thing they may ask or require of you. You have no obligation to meet with anyone, explain yourself or offer a rationale for your resignation. And the priesthood leaders cannot compel you to do anything you don't want to.