If feel like the bishop enjoys confessions. The best part of his day. I wanted to hit the bishop for hugging me without asking. I felt locking the door was inapropriate. I think he shines his bald head to impress the teen girls during interviews. He would stare at me during the interview like he was in love with me. A big smile on his face.

I concur, the interviews cross soooooo many lines.

One major reason I left mormonism was to spare my children and grandchildren the horrors of the so called worthiness interviews.

Never ever ever confess to anything, the intimidation, embarrassment and guilt trip that follow are not worth it.

When I confessed to my bishop that I'd 'fallen' he asked two questions:  "Was she mormon?" and "Have you repented?"

When I said she wasn't and that I had, he said, "Good!"

I blessed the snackerment the following Sunday.

The only downside was having to wait six months to go on my mission, because of the dreaded GA interview...which was a total nothing-burger, to coin a phrase.  (I wish I remembered who it was, in case it's worth the name-drop.)

I suspect that bishop roulette is very much a thing in the one and only true church.

Never give them an opening. I could end the interview in less than a minute, I would just say I am fine, and I have other things I need to do. Then stand up and give a firm handshake, thank them for their time, and leave.

They really have no idea how to respond to that. I started that take around the age of 22, eventually bishops stopped interviewing me, because I controlled the conversation.

The worthiness interviews are a constant source of embarrassment for me. Every so often something will trigger my memory of uncomfortably twitching in the bishop's office while spilling my guts. The very private things I felt I had to confess to bishops when I was a teenager filled me with shame. The things I confessed to were normal growing up stuff and nothing that should have caused intense embarrassment and self flagellation. None of it was any of the bishop's business.

If anyone had told me those bishops had no authority over me and that I wasn't obligated to tell them anything, it would have helped so much. I really thought I had to confess everything to remain clean. Oh the humanity!

If I could only do a do-over how much better my life would have been if I could have skipped those worthiness interviews along with the shame, humiliation, embarrassment, etc.

teaching members to lie & obfuscate.

How did church leaders get away with inappropriate questions that were perverted and invasive?

Because so many of us so embarrassed to share what was asked with our parents. My parents were more open than most members- I went thru sex ed in public school when others went to the library because their parents opposed learning about health. Notwithstanding, I didn't dare share that Bishop Steel, my longtime tormenter, would ask question after question that delved deeper into my personal life- all while recording every detail in an interview notebook.

Keep in mind that Bishop Steel wouldn't ask the same law of chastity questions that he taunted the youth. So, parents were largely kept in the dark. My mom didn't care enough about me if I was physically hurt. Do you think she would care about the bishop hurting my feelings while "doing his calling"? Hell, no.

It is good advice not to say or volunteer anything during a worthiness interrogation. However, the questioning would go on and on.

B- Do you live the law of chastity?
Me- Yes
B- I find that troubling. Do you have bad thoughts?
Me- I try to think good thoughts.
B- Do you like girls, do find them attractive?
Me- Yes.
B- So you do have impure thoughts. Let me write that down. You probably think about girls while showering. Do you touch yourself in the bathroom?
Me- I don't touch myself in the bathroom.
B- So you don't like girls. Let me write that down. So what makes men attractive? Do you realize that it's grievous to God to be homosexual. How long have you been interested in men? Do you like watching them in the locker room? Has a man or boy ever hugged you?

God those times behind closed doors were awful.

They are not "interviews". They are interrogations.

I asked a fellow church friend if she had to kneel in prayer with their Sunday dresses. She confirmed that she did while the bishop hugged her during the prayer. I didn't have the guts to ask her if she received the invasive touching/feeling one's self-masturbation questions during the interviews.

And yes, I had the bishop's hand around my shoulder while I prayed to invite the spirit before he delved into my sexual perversions. I hated being hugged by him so I can only imagine that the young women felt equally bad if not worse.

Forgot to mention that the bishop would kneel next to you while using a chair seat to rest your arms. He would place his left arm on top of your cusped hands while he "hugged/braced" your shoulder with his right arm. I didn't like being hugged even by my own father. Kind of weird, but as a victim of sexual molestation I have issues about being touched.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/04/2023 04:10AM by messygoop.