For years, I’ve been impressed to write and publish my dramatic, yet unique, Mormon story. I think my fellow humans could benefit from it. In it, I would share my Mormon upbringing, along with my personal struggles and religious doubts. I’d also share some key brave decisions to overcome some critical obstacles and I’d explain the consequences that followed. I’d also share my collection of thoughts on life and how I’ve evolved in my journey outside of Mormonism thus far, where I am today, and what I think it all means. I think it can be a great case study into the transition of ME from a good little Mormon kid that grew up in the Midwest in the 90s, to that of a critical thinker and compassionate freethinker today.

My story would be told from a former TBM, BIC, and RM point of view. A quick background: I was born and raised in the church, and I served a mission in Russia at 19. I was a happy believing member. However, shortly after I returned from my mission in 2006, I started to have serious doubts about the truthfulness and even the benefits of the church. It just sort of happened! These doubts were not just doctrinal and church history concerns (which on their own justify a faith crisis), but also the mental health toll placed upon my entire family and me who were just striving to create the picture-perfect Mormon family (we never even got close). It really was a dire situation. By 2008, I understood that I had to make some bold choices if I had any chance of surviving and living a happy, productive, and fulfilling life, even if that was not as a Mormon. It was about a 5-year journey out, filled with long discussions with my parents, the bishop, and my therapist, but in the end, I resigned from my membership in 2011. To this day I have no regrets doing this.

Today, I subscribe to any useful teachings and principles of life wherever and whenever I find them, and in whatever medium they come to me (I’m a fan of Christopher Hitchens, Alan Watts, and Sandra Tanner!). I’m agnostic at the moment, and I’m satisfied with that label (logically, I can't assign 0% chance to anything). I usually steer clear of religion, but I am spiritual in my own style. I try to listen and be in tune with my fellow humans and I try to pay close attention to my surroundings in nature and to the universe and discover what new messages might be out there for me every day. My experiences no doubt changed my perspective on life. I’m like Joseph; a “rough stone rolling”. I’m a sensitive yet confident person, stronger today than ever before.

For years I wanted to share my story in detail, but every time I tried to write them down, all of my past feelings and wounds resurfaced, and I’d either get very angry and bitter, or depressed and hopeless. Now, as I approach 40, I think it’s time to commit and finally do this. I don’t know what my legacy will be, but this seems like a good adventure to pursue.

Maya Angelou once said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Before I begin that untold story, do you think there’d be any genuine interest in reading a story like mine? That’s my question to my ex-mormon family.

Thank you (brothers and sisters).

Yes, please write. You never know who could benefit from hearing your story.

Angry, bitter, depressed and hopeless are great things to channel into a book. Let them fuel you. The joyful parts and the moments of discovery with temper them well.

And Maya Angelou was right as usual.

Get a good editor for the process once your first draft is done.

I think of my life's story as a confessional...

I'd need the bishop to set aside the last week-end of August to get through it all with him, and then he'd call the SP and hopefully get my Court of Deep Abiding Love set for the following Saturday.

I don't know if you've had a chance to look at the "Exit Stories" section of this website. You are more than welcome to post your story there, and to alert us to it on this page. Or of course, you could choose another medium.

In any event, welcome. Russia must have been a trip as a missionary. I'd love to hear your experience about that.

Thank you for sharing that. Welcome. I think many of us can relate to much of what you wrote.

I studied my way out, thinking I was studying the "fullness of the Gospel." At some point it was just too much nonsense to swallow.

I hope you will come to a point where you can accept that your experiences in the church helped make you into the much smarter person you are today!