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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 10:39AM

90 years old.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 11:12AM

Well, I have to say I'm not exactly surprised.
Dave, be sure and notify Congress.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 11:57AM

Dave, please be sure to notify Dianne Feinstein.

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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 11:16AM

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 12:15PM

Diane Feinstein had a sterling reputation in Congress, she will be missed, remembered, and hopefully another candidate with a similar reputation will take her place on behalf of California residents.

'Reports of my death have been Greatly Exaggerated'
-Mark Twain

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 08:34PM

She will be Mormon soon enough. Joseph's been waiting.

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Posted by: Honest TB[long] ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 10:07PM

Dianne is a Sibling of mine as we have the same Heavenly Father so I have an urgent need to do something for her so she can get paroled from her Spirit Prison cell.

When someone dies its amazing that the Military and other organizations are still doing this "Next of Kin" notification when it just seems normal to me, thanks to how the Correlation program has groomed me to think, that the first step should be "Request Ordinances" processing by one of us who is their spiritual sibling. Once that important step is done then we can notify the Next of Kin and other steps in the grieving process for the loved ones still here.

Maybe we could send the missionaries to do this? Like imagine this situation of 2 eighteen year old missionaries gets a message from the Family History department's operations command center. It's about a 28 year old man dying in a car accident 20 minutes earlier on a Tuesday afternoon and leaving behind a widow and 4 young children. They are given his name/address and name of his wife per hospital information. The Elders have 3 appointments for discussions so they decide they'll go right before their dinner appointment with a members family at 6:30pm. Its important to not miss these appointments for anything because they need baptisms.

At 6:18pm they arrive at the Widow's house and knock on the door.
Widow: Hello, can I help you?
Elder: Hi, we're missionaries with [long] and we have an important message for you.
Widow: I'm sorry but I'm not interested. I'm waiting for my husband who is running late getting home from work and I really need his help with the kids because 2 of them have colds, another needs diapers changed, and I haven't even started dinner.
Elder: This message is important about your husband.
Other Elder: and its also about Jesus Christ. You'll have to forgive my companion as he is new to the Mission and doesn't remember how important it is for us to teach discussions and do our work.
Elder: That's correct, and we'll talk about what Joseph Smith has done for all of us too. Well our message is that your husband died today. After our discussion we'll provide you more information about what happened.
Widow: Oh noooooo!!!!!!
Other Elder: It's ok ma'am. Can we come in to share this message?
Widow: No, I want to know what happened.
Elder: We'll explain when we get to that part of the lesson. So let me get started. Most people believe in a supreme being ..
Other Elder [interrupts]: I'm sorry but I just noticed the time and we have to be somewhere in 5 minutes. We have a DA in 5 minutes and then plan to play video games with the teenagers & its going to be fun. Can we reschedule for another time? How about 3pm on next Thursday?
Widow: I'm sorry but I have a job interview. Money is tight for us now and we so much depend on my husband's income for everything. Oh my husband ..... WAAAAAAHH
Elder: It's ok. You can schedule the interview for another time so you can hear this important message.
Other Elder: And on money we'll get to the Tithing part of our message too so you can learn about Heavenly Father's plan for uour money.
Widow: Will you then get me some explanation on what happened to my husband?
Elder: Yes, thank you for reminding me, I almost forgot. Please be sure to remind us next week as we might forget when we get focused on the lesson.
Other Elder: We'd love to talk more but our stomachs are growling and we got some cool games to play. We'll see you then. We got to go. Have a wonderful evening.
Elder: Bye

When someone dies, thanks to the Correlation program, we know what to do.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 10:21PM

The Church has wisely opted out of administering Last Rites. Too many false alarms. Survival makes things awkward.

I suggest instead raising the dead just long enough to accept the gospel. Deathbed conversion avoids the whole "endure to the end" thing.

The MTC should focus on the required techniques instead of selling a defective product.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2023 11:12PM by bradley.

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Posted by: Banana Republican ( )
Date: September 29, 2023 02:52PM

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: September 30, 2023 01:15PM

You still miss ronnie raygun.

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