Disclaimer: I am not a member of the church. Never was and never will be. I am just someone who has been attending social events at various LDS wards in two different countries for more than ten years. I never go to sacrament meeting on Sundays. I have no interest in the teachings of the church.
With that out of the way, here is the main topic of this post:
Usually most of the missionaries I come into contact with are from the US, and majority of those are white and from Utah. For the past several years in the current ward I have been going to, the elders were your stereotypical tall, white, blue-eyed types with that hardcore and delightsome BYU MTC Peter Priesthood look. Whenever the church had elders of that type serving in the ward, and being present at social events, all the YA girls would swarm around them, approach them, talk to them, and would make effort to be around them. The Peter Priesthood elders were basically girl magnets.
Now however they have two pairs of elders in this ward and none of them are white. There is an African guy from Ghana, a Filipino, a Chinese guy and a Taiwanese guy. And guess what: none of the girls in the ward ever get near them, talk to them or make any effort at all to make conversation with them. Male missionaries are usually popular with the female YA crowd, but these guys are completely ignored and avoided by the YA girls.
I can almost imagine the girls in the ward being disappointed there are no tall, white, blond, blue-eyed cute Utah boys currently serving here. What a blow. Maybe in the next transfer...
You need to get a missionary who is not Caucasian but is American. Then you can see if race or nationality is what attracts or repels the young women.
My guess is that some of them would be more sociable toward such a missionary, some would not, which would be some racism, and some passport acquisition desire. I won’t even hazard a guess as to the proportion of each.
I don't know what exactly is behind your observations. I will admit I was looking for a RM with good Mormon roots and family when I was on the hunt for a husband.
I wanted the temple wedding in the SLC temple. American pioneer BIC RM types were my first choice. I wanted someone tall and super smart (more nerd than athlete). That pretty much fits your Peter Priesthood description, except husband had hazel eyes. ;-)
I don't think I realized it at the time, but there was a racial element. Back then all the GAs were white guys. They were the "elite" that girls thought they were supposed to want. I knew the subtle ways my mom would react to the guys I dated. I conformed.
Hell, my batcrap crazy grandmother CRIED long and loud for weeks (seemed like forever) when one of my aunts wanted to marry a guy from *sniff sniff eye roll* IDAho. When her only son wanted to wed a 30something with a high paying CAREER who was a CONVERT the show was so good I damn near died laughing. Pre-existence WAIL WAIL not valiant WAIL WEEP but her people! We don't know her PEOPLE! But think of your future CHILDREN! I was old enough to understand it all and I had her figured out years before. By the time her youngest daughter wanted to marry a guy from Idaho with very few financial prospects she had just given up.
LOLOL. Maybe your mom was right. Look what has happened to IDAho!
My family made more than a few cracks about the hicks in Utah. Back then, a lot of Southern CA girls at BYU thought they were the center of the universe. Everyone else was from the sticks.
I married someone from the Midwest, which might as well have been the moon to my mom. Then I moved to live with hicks! I know my mom said things to my other sisters about how unfortunate it was that I didn't marry someone from So.Cal. At least she didn't WAIL. LOL.
I had several companions who were from other countries. For the most part, we got along well.
What I observed was that when two or more were together or paired up, there was a weird competition to prove who was more righteous.
I was asked to help Elder _____ become more friendlier because he was too quiet and reserved. They asked me to get to know him better and to find a way to make him lighten up. He was very serious- that can be a big turn off when it's okay to be yourself when not being a Mormon missionary.
I failed miserably. I couldn't get the elder to open up about anything. His favorite interests were reading the BoM, listening to the Mormon T Choir and writing in his journal. I would ask more questions in his native language, and he would answer me in English. He wouldn't share his interests save the standard bore fest answers of being a faithful, obedient missionary.
Maybe some of these elders are very shy. And maybe they talk nothing but church around young women. Maybe the tall blondes are more likely to be extroverts and like to flirt with the young women. I was far from handsome as a missionary, but I had several very good-looking companions (think Christopher Reeve- one looked like Superman) who liked to flirt with the teenagers.
There's no reason for them not to be nice to all of the missionaries (assuming that the missionaries are decent guys.) But apart from that, I don't attach the word, "racism" to one's dating preferences, since those are personal.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/16/2024 11:15AM by summer.
Quite amusing how all Mormon women all just happen to have the same physical preferences: tall, white, blond, blue-eyed returned missionary. What a coincidence.
Well, the RM thing was taught. At church and by the family. RM or nothing. Plus, there was the whole "as long as two people are righteous they can make a marriage work" crap. So get out there, find a RM and GET TO MAKIN' BABIES! Never having been a member there is a lot more to it than you understand. Obviously, you were not valiant in the pre-existence let alone born in Utah of pioneer stock. No one would know your people.
I agree with summer. The one thing in life you cannot control is who you are attracted to. You either are or you are not attracted to them. Chemistry. One look and you are feeling something. The timbre of a voice. Pheromones. Those insert themselves whether you like it or not.
My local ward is one of the unfriendliest places I know. I don't mean aggressive and scary, just cold. They barely talk to each other, let alone any visitors of any descriptions. But there is one guy I do know well, and that's the ward clerk. He tells me that most of the welfare budget is being paid out to people from the "Global South" who've arrived within the last three years. In one case, a Brazilian got a week's accom paid for by the church even though he never even attended a full sacrament meeting. I'm told this is the situation in many other places.
Probably for the very simple reason that they relate to people whose life experiences are like their own. The Ghanaian and the Taiwanese man probably don't speak native English either.
"I am just someone who has been attending social events at various LDS wards"
Seriously?
May I ask which social activities wards are offering these days?
My wife is subscribed to the our former ward's social media page. I think the ward had a daddy daughter date night at the temple in Oct. Dads wore suits while their daughters wore fancy prom dresses. Aside from taking 500 selfies at the outdoor temple, they went to an ice cream shop.
I think Nov offered the ward turkey meal.
Dec activity was a Nativity play were primary children wore bathroom robes and brought gifts to a baby Jesus.
I think Jan was a date night for endowed couples at the temple.
This past week was share your testimony for Valentines Day. I think the youth made heart shape testimony cards.