1. If so, how did it turn out?

2. How did you feel about it?

3. Do you think processing negative reactions to love bombing is harder/easier/not comparable to processing negative reactions from strangers when a person is on a mission?

When I was a child, I was tasked with spreading the good news to friends and strangers alike. I hated it, but I was truly concerned about folks going to hell. I stopped that nonsense when I was 13. I still believed, but I stopped bugging people about it.

EDITED: I reworded #3



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2024 03:22PM by Beth.

I remember being assigned to be the Visiting Teacher of a woman who was "inactive." I was duty bound and determined to complete my assignment. I made cookies for her with a printed church quote on colored paper (the usual love bombing tools).

The woman politely tolerated my forced visit. I felt like such a good person for bringing her the message.

Our assignments got changed shortly after. I never saw her again. She obviously had no intention of being active.

Looking back, I am utterly embarrassed.

It turns out that her tolerance and kindness to the little Mormon pest was the real message.

“ It turns out that her tolerance and kindness to the little Mormon pest was the real message.”

This. Precisely. I think about the things I said and did, and when I’m finished cringing, I realize that someone gave me more than I thought I was giving to them.

I was on the receiving end of ward love bombing. I personally resented it because my family didn't even know who was doing it. We had fruit and eggs thrown at our house. They left tangerines in a stocking. No, not the red Xmas one, an actual woman's nylon stocking left in our flower planter near the front door. A plate of brownies were left unseen on the welcome mat and our dog ate them.

https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2502082,2502082#msg-2502082

Yes, I was. I was given a slip of paper for who I was to minister to, usually 2-5 women. And I usually was also assigned a "companion" to do it with me. I don't think I ever did. And I don't think I was ever talked to.

I don't think it ever occurred to me while in the church that there was anything wrong with assigned friends. It made sense to me in that everyone got looked after and I saw it as an example of the bishop and RS president powers of discernment that these women were selected for me to interact with because the Lord somehow knew I had need of something they would share with me/in my sharing with them I would get what guidance or changes I needed in my life + I was to be a tool for god in their lives. And I always felt a little bit of guilt over not ever interacting with these women or doing my assignment.

However, I remember justifying it that I just didn't like how it felt. I am an introvert with some extrovert tendencies trained into me BY the church. I like giving speeches and teaching lessons in front of others. And a part of me does really like talking to new people and engaging in small talk(it makes me good at and enjoy my current job). But my introvert still comes out in that I like my alone time and my solitary pursuits. It doesn't come naturally to me or feel right to make plans and invite myself over to someone house who I don't know well or who I am not already in common with. And it never has.

I'm like you, blackcoatsdaughter. I'm an introvert who learned extrovert skills over time. I've read that what makes a true introvert is how you recharge -- you need your alone time to rest, relax, and recharge. As a teacher, my day is very active and filled with constant interaction with both students and adults. But when it's lunchtime, I like to eat alone at my desk. I need the quiet time. And I love going back to my quiet, peaceful home at the end of the day.

Early on, I recognized that Mormonism was built for extroverts. It must often be a challenging experience for introverts.

Yes, frequently. We were asked to befriend people. That often doesn't work because friendships happen organically. There was one exception where we clicked and I remain close friends with him to this day even though he has been inactive for years. He's disabled so he has become very isolated in the past. So at least something good came out of it.

We were always assigned to do things for the kids who didn't attend and invite them to primary.

I'd leave them a treat and never say a thing about coming to primary. I hated it when people did that to me, so why would I do it to a child?

I was thinking this morning about my aunt telling me that when she went to my daughter's bridal shower and it was the ward women who were there and my aunt said that I obviously had good friendships with a lot of them. Yes, I do. But mormons have treated me better since I left than they ever did before. Now I get all the love bombing. I just had some cookies brought by a few days ago.

I was never into missionary work. I had quite a few nonmember friends and, stupid me, I sent the missionaries. I wanted them to be wherever I was eventually. My nonmember boyfriend from when I was 20 and reconnected in 2005. I had sent the missionaries to him all those years ago. His dad talked to me about it as it was his dad who talked to the missionaries. He was kind about it.

Even when I was an active member, I never wanted to be at church. It's embarrassing to admit that I used to think that way. I had to be at church or receive a thrashing from my mom. Yet, I always thought of names called from a list who were not present to be so lucky because they were somewhere else.

Perhaps it's because everything that was taught or said in church involved a threat or coercion. I was never at church because I wanted to be there. (Speaks volumes of so-called Free Agency).

Before we resigned in 2013 we did not attend church for several weeks. Relief Society came and brought us chocolate chip cookies one week another week fresh home baked banana bread. My husband had been the Scoutmaster for over 5 years and the ward really didn’t want to loose a Scoutmaster. I was a stay at home mom to 3 small children and compassionate service leader. It is easy to replace a compassionate service leader but it is difficult to replace a Scoutmaster. Another week we got a casserole. The bishop at the time also worked for the same company as my husband and the bishop took my husband out for lunch doing a workday. My husband earns a good income so I am sure they didn’t want to loose his tithing money. I felt harassed it did not feel sincere or kind although I have to admit the cookies, banana bread and casserole tasted good.

I myself was assigned to VT someone who was inactive in the year 2008. My visiting teaching companion called the inactive sister maybe twice a year and invited her to Relief Society activities. Never heard back from her and so we stopped contacting her. Even when I was an active LDS member I was never good at missionary work or activating inactive members. I would however clean the church building when I was assigned. I attended most Relief Society activities. I have volunteered at the bishop store house. There was a older sister in the ward who had dementia and I was assigned to pick her up with my car go grocery shopping with her and bring her and the groceries back home to her apartment I did that for a few years till she passed away. Basically I was never an LDS female leader or really into church doctrines. At the time I thought I was a Molly Mormon but I kind of did my own thing. When we had a lot of bills I would tell my husband to pay less tithing because we needed the money more than the lds church. That got my husband very upset. Even as a TBM I knew that the LDS church was rich so I decreased our tithing money from $600 to $500 per month. The bishop didn’t like that and noticed that right away. Bishop called husband and me into his office and asked if we could increase the tithing money and I straight away said “no”. Lol the longer I am out the more I can see how I was not strutting the line of Mormonism.

They don't call it Love Bombing!!