Hi all,

This is my new article this week, titled "Don’t Call Trans People ‘Brave’,” Really?
https://chumark54.substack.com/p/dont-call-trans-people-brave-really

But this article has nothing to do with Mormonism; it's an "extension" to my article from last week (https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2509613). I hope it's appropriate. If not, my apologies, and feel free to take it down from the forum. Though if we look at the far right, fundamentalists' attitude toward LGBTQ people nowadays, I think it's at least related to Christianity to some degree.

Anyway, thanks.

Hi markc. I am fond of saying that absolutely everything has to do with Mormonism and I'm only half kidding. Really, it does relate to life in general and certainly religion, which is a big part of life for currently religious people, obviously, but also for those who have been born into (or joined) a religion and for those who have left, especially the all-encompassing ones. Mormonism certainly fits that description. And the leaving of it also causes many headaches and heartaches (but also freedom and joy) as we see written here at RfM.

Sexual identity is an issue in Mormonism as well as in all other spheres (not just religion, obviously) and so no worries - it's a topic here.

Your article is interesting (as always). I'm glad people are talking about it as it helps others to become more informed.

I have no special knowledge at all, in fact the opposite, but still I have a few thoughts. I have only known a couple of trans people, in passing: one as a patient in a medical clinic where I worked and another from a mission/church where I was a volunteer. ("Known" is an overstatement - it was only a few superficial encounters).

From your article:

You: "When we want to show our admiration in daily conversation, or even just break the ice, what can we say?"

Me: I don't know if we need to "show admiration". I guess it would depend on the circumstances and context?


You: "...constantly being attacked for your vocabulary choices is alienating to those who have likely never met a trans person, and only know of the issue peripherally."

Me: You make a good point that a lot of people are simply trying to do the best with the language they know.


Re noun/adjective/verb (forgive me for being a language junkie):

You: "Authored by a transgender herself"

Me: 'Transgender' is meant to be an adjective, not a noun. To call someone "a transgender" sounds (to me) like objectification. (I know you wouldn't intend that). It should be 'a transgender person' ('person' is the noun, 'transgender' is the adjective).

The verb is 'transgendered' (as in a person transgendered) (or that's what I've noted in various articles).


You: I inevitably feel a little uneasy about what to say if/when I see a trans person: Will I do or say anything well intended to be taken the wrong way?

I think it's understandable to be uncertain in situations we haven't encountered before. I think/hope that well-intentioned people will be recognized as being so and that no insult will be meant or taken.

Life definitely presents a learning curve. I think that in new or unfamiliar situations most people are generous in understanding that not everybody knows everything and they give others a chance to learn and grow, on both or all sides.

One of the most important parts is to want to do so.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2024 02:25PM by Nightingale.

Nightingale Wrote:
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> Hi markc. I ...

Thanks for all the comments! I believe you know significantly better than I do. Appreciate it.

And I'll go ahead and correct the "Authored by a transgender herself" mistake.

Again, thanks!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/16/2024 10:15PM by Maude.

"Calling all trans people brave removes responsibility and agency from that cis person to work as a supportive and active ally… [it] removes any culpability cis people hold for perpetuating that hardship."

The person you quote here clearly has issues with passive-aggression. The article as a whole talks about trans people living normal lives but this person clearly has not got there. Not just because of external issues but internally generated ones too.

y u Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Calling all trans people brave removes
> responsibility and agency from that cis person to
> work as a supportive and active ally… removes
> any culpability cis people hold for perpetuating
> that hardship."

> ...

Yeah, it can look like she has issues, that's why I wrote my article. To her credit she did admit some fault in the comment section. I think her life wasn't an easy one and the frustration has built in her, so I guess I'd give her some benefit of the doubt. Thanks for reading!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2024 07:19PM by Maude.

I have never liked the word, "cisgender." I understand that it came about as a comparison word to transgender, but I don't like it and never agreed to it. I support the right of transgender people to call themselves transgender (or whatever else they want to call themselves,) but the term "cisgender" was applied without consent to people who IMO never asked for it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender

summer Wrote:
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> I have never liked the word, "cisgender." I
> understand that it came about as a comparison word
> to transgender, but ...

Just a few days ago I heard about a similar complaint. This is new to me; I had no idea. Thanks for sharing, appreciate it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2024 07:22PM by Maude.

The nice, not-so-bad life that you once had is gone.

Walking around with a "Target Me" sign is another good analogy.

I remember a line from a Holocaust film -- I don't remember which one -- where one of the characters says something like "we fight them just by living."

If that's not bravery, I don't know what is.

anybody Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
"we fight them just by
> living."
>

I love this line.