At some point, college students have to leave their dormitories, student housing, etc., and look for other places to live. As a young man I chose a place to live. I chose it because I knew a guy who lived there. He was an Exmormon, and I thought it would be nice to live with somebody who shared my views.

However, instead of bonding with me and supporting me, he criticized me because of my beliefs. We would sit around and talk, and he would constantly criticize me. It was not just about religion, either. I had a hobby that I liked, and he criticized that, too.

Two other Exmormons lived there, and they would join in our discussions. They had also left the Church and had joined this guy's brand of "Christianity". They were not as mean as the other guy, but I really didn't bond with them much. There was another guy who was a Nevermo. He belonged to the same brand of "Christianity" that the others belonged to. He also joined in our discussions. He happened to be the manager of the building. He was also very mean. He constantly criticized me, not just about religion but also about my hobby. He was a very judgmental person.

One day somebody left their clothes in the washer, and I got upset because of it. Because of this, the mean Nevermo guy kicked me out! Just like that! He showed no mercy, just like he showed no consideration for anything I talked about before.

I learned some things about this experience. First, just because somebody else doesn't believe in Mormonism does not necessarily mean that they will be nice to live with. That was a very emotionally painful experience, especially since I had lived in Provo a long time with roommates who I could not really talk with about my beliefs.

Second, when you are looking for roommates, unbelief in Mormonism is not the most important criteria. I later lived with a person who was a believing Mormon. He owned the house, and I was more or less satisfied living there. He was not the "ideal Mormon". He was not married, and he did not keep the "law of chastity". Somehow he remained an active Mormon despite his sexual habits.

If they had been nicer, maybe I would have gone to church services with them. Maybe I would have adopted a whole new way of life.

They may not have had much influence on my beliefs, but they may have had a great deal of influence on my social life.

Some religious groups are very tolerant of different viewpoints, and they allow people to speak their minds. My roommates, at least the two super mean ones, were definitely not tolerant people.



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 03/25/2024 04:48AM by behindcurtain.

I had a Mormon roommate at one point during college, and she was fine. I felt sorry for her having to live with three nevermo girls who liked to party. At the end of the school year, we all moved on.

I lived with roommates for about a dozen years after college, in order to save on living expenses. I would say that about a quarter of them were great, a quarter were awful, with the remaining 50% being tolerable. The ones who were awful were really awful for a variety of reasons.

I'm sorry that you had a terrible experience when you were hoping for support. It sounds like they were hoping to recruit you to their cause. In a way, they did you a favor by kicking you out.

The more fanatical they are, the more difficult, no matter what religion, IMO. If people aren't tolerant and able to shut up about their beliefs, it's hard. If they are proselytizing types, it's bound to get on your nerves.

I had a coworker who fancied herself to be some kind of a witch. She wouldn't shut up about dumb stuff (like dead people making phones vibrate), etc. It was exhausting trying to avoid talking to her.

Why would you be upset that someone forgot their clothes in the washer? Sometimes that happens.
What hobby did you have that they found so annoying? Taxidermy?

Yeah, laundry left in the washer is a solvable problem -- you either place the wet clothes in a basket, or put them in the dryer if that's what your roommate normally does.

Much tougher issues are roommates who never take care of their own dirty dishes, or clean, or who have boyfriends/girlfriends who eat all of your food, or who love loud music, especially at late hours. You can't fix people who are jerks, and it's not always easy to tell when you are desperate for another warm body to help pay the rent.

The hobby I had was playing blackjack in casinos using card counting. It has been proven that you can put the house percentage in your favor when playing blackjack if you "count cards" while playing. At least this was true with the way blackjack was years ago. Over time, most casinos have changed the rules of blackjack to make it harder or impossible to win with card counting. You can still find beatable blackjack games; you just have to look harder for them. I was really excited about the fact that you can beat the casino over the long term by card counting, and I liked to talk about it. If you are going to criticize card counting, you should first understand what it is. You should not make ignorant, judgmental statements, like the ones my roommates were making.

As for asking why I got mad about the clothes in the washer, sometimes people do things that make you mad. Sometimes knowing that somebody has gotten angry because of your actions can motivate you to behave differently. At that place I think there was only one washing machine, and I think there was a rule that said nobody could take anybody else's clothes out of the machine, no matter what.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/01/2024 09:44PM by behindcurtain.

They were jerking you around about THAT? LOL
What lame roommates.