Here are my predictions for the next General Conference

1) More emphasis on women (based on the fiasco with the Relief Society and the Instagram posting regarding the power of women in the Church). A talk that doubles down on J. Anette Dennis' ridiculous claim of the "priesthood power" of women within the church.

2) More McTemple announcements, but referring to the purchase of the Kirtland Temple as proof that the Church is true and a sign of its growth.

3) Emphasis on becoming Temple worthy and the benefits of temple attendance. Lots of messages about the need to attend frequently.

4) Not so subtle message about the importance of serving a mission (for young men.)

Reddit reports that the church is now cool with YW getting their endowments whenever they want, once they're out of high school and over the age 18.

Such a change from my era, when only brides and Lady Missionaries (who'd failed at attracting a mate) got their endowments.

It will be interesting to watch for doublespeak this time.

They will try and act like they empower women while making it clear they are to stay in their place (babies, home, happy happy).

They will try and act like they are inclusive of diversity (i.e. gay lifestyle) while making it clear they are not accepting at all.

I predict they will have different conference talks that actually contradict each other so people will hear only what they want.

I suspect they will imply that recent news and media stories that involve the church (Jody, Lori, etc.) are out to persecute them (naughty Satan).

They will brag about something they did that was actually charitible to try and prevent people from realizing they are not all that charitible. The members need something (anything) for a ready retort when people talk about all the money the church hoards.

I agree with Dagny that the corporation will have a few talks about its supposed generosity to charities, in a not so subtle way, to confront the negative press of hoarding over $100 billion. Temples seem to be the focus. They need to address the issue of temple attendance boredom. How one lights a fire over the absurdity of the temple endowment and keep attendance up is an impossible task.

I am not so sure that GC talks will be reactionary to the recent flak over women's access to the priesthood. I think GC talks are written prepared several months before GC rolls around. Whoever vets the talks before GC has the obvious Mormon ear. Look how many times dubious and inflammatory remarks routinely pass by.

The church really ought to PAY a group of exmos and nevermos to preview each talk. Although I am staring to think the church really likes dumpster fires. They seem to go to great lengths to piss off everyone, including members.

I agree that the talks are written weeks, perhaps months ahead. I do think they could override a few talks to respond to current events, like the kerfuffle over the authority of women in Mormondom.

Having the talks vetted by an outsider is an excellent idea, but I can’t see them ever doing that.

I would not say that talks are prepared weeks before conference in every case but generally ahead of time. I know this for certain.

Their talks ARE vetted and sent back with changes and red lines. The only people who are spared this are the apostholes. I knew a woman who was one of these people.

When it comes to the temple building all things will eventually come to an end.

For instance, economy and inflation. You cannot maintain spending levels with high levels of inflation, and pay that does not keep up, along with an overspending government.

Something is going to give!

You cannot continue to build temples all over the place when you have decreasing active membership and people unable to pay 10% tithing. And even if they are paying a full tithing, with today's financial realities, full participation levels will drop. Thus, less temple recommend holders, less use of the temples, less temple workers. But hey lets just build another temple, God is behind all this illogical behavior!

Something is going to give!

Always does, always will.......and God has nothing to do with it, because it is in our nature to ignore errors and lessons of the past and repeat them over and over again.

You’re assuming the church needs tithing income to survive. I doubt that is true anymore. They have enough assets that they can run off the income from their businesses and investment for a very long time, perhaps centuries.

From a financial perspective, I have no doubt you are correct. From a doctrinal\promise\revelation perspective. Something is going to give.

with just the interest on the money they hold.

When the eclipse happens just after GC, those Saints who are in the area of totality, if they have sufficient faith, and a good telescope, will be able to see the backlit silhouettes of the Quakers on the moon.

- Pay tithing
- Don't watch porn
- Don't delay marriage
- Don't delay having children
- Attend the temple
- Retired members go on senior missions
- 18 year old boys go on missions

Will the prophet talk about same sex marriage?
https://www.sltrib.com/religion/2024/02/06/mormon-stories-apologizes/
Will married same sex couples be allowed to have church callings like Charlie Bird?

- Female wimmens must always defer to male authority

I predict that conference speakers will mostly ignore current controversies such as women's issues, child abuse, finances and etc.
Instead they will claim that all is well in Zion and the faithful should just stay in the boat. Follow the covenant path, seek out some tender mercies, attend the temple and follow the prophet.

Most important please Jesus Christ by paying a full tithe!

Core, Basic values & benefit of focus on living Christ-like lives;

Honesty, Kindness, Parable of Good Samaritan, etc.
They seriously watered-down the importance of Honesty with the change on the TRIQ a while ago, now it's more a gray area than Black/White.. SHEESH!

(for those interested) Dieter Uchtdorf has taken the lead on related matters, will he be allowed to reprise/repeat this theme?

Will D.U. be invited to speak or will he be silenced?

I will be at my favorite craft brewery on Saturday after NOT giving a F what's being preached.

I'll take one for the team, and at least report on the SLTrib report on GC. :)

I predict that shortly there will be a new church calling called "compliance minister".

The compliance minister will visit every member in the ward to see if they are towing-the-line in all aspects of their lives.

Sacrament & sunday school attendance will be noted and reported.

Did they take the sacrament with their right hand?

Surprise visits to their house will be tolerated and the minister will search for alcohol, cigarettes, porn, unauthorized underwear, food storage, and reported to the bishop.

The compliance minister will be stationed in the foyer each Sunday and check random members for visual proof of garment compliance as they enter.

Bank accounts will be reviewed monthly and compared to tithing donation slips.

Every January each member will be given a "ministering booklet" much like a passport, and the visiting minister will stamp it each time they visit. This booklet will be available to the compliance ministers for examination when asked for.

OOH, OOH,CHOOSE ME !

Unauthorized underwear. LOL

Pay, pray, obey !

I predict they will say a whole bunch of words that mean absolutely nothing.

They will announce reparations to the families of the MMM victims.

...only the Black ones...

The word "historic" describing the conference shall be used no less that 18 times and no more that 783 times.

I predict that they will all be "speaking as men", just as all previous authorities of the cult and fallible men at that, so, nothing they say really matters.

will be more significant.

More people will watch The Masters and the NCAA men’s and women’s basketball tournaments. They will try to coin a new term to sell t-shirts.

Here is a text exchange I had yesterday with a friend from my mission:

I said: “I hope you get the chance to see General Conference this weekend. During challenging times, it's important to receive spiritual nourishment from the Lord's anointed.”

He responded “I was just kneeling at my bed, praying fervently for the Lord's guidance as I begin my day when I received your message!!! I will definitely be watching every minute of General Conference.”

BTW-he and I both resigned our memberships years ago, and we know ridicule TSCC and laugh at ourselves for ever believing that nonsense.

You wrote a sarcastic text and the TBM buffoon thinks it was in dire solemnness.

Reminds me of a time on the way to a dead dunking youth temple trip. Brother Blowhard sang all verses of Come come ye saints and he rear ended a slower moving farm truck. He didn't quite point the car to the right and he crushed the left fender. Nothing happened to the farm truck.

I told him, "Boy it's a good thing we had a prayer before travelling or we might have been in a serious accident." I said it with extreme sarcasm.

He replied, "You are so right. Without prayer, we would have been hurt. We truly are blessed."

And I silently murmured "Gee dumbass, if you would pay attention to your driving instead of hearing yourself sing, then we wouldn't have rear ended a truck."

I'd love to have them announce ten or fifteen 2nd Annoyings based on drawing from a big box with all the seat numbers in it...

Then the SLTrib could follow up with individual stories about all the 'sins' the winners commited in the weeks following their 2nd Annoyings!!

They could read their talks from 2018 and nobody would be the wiser.

Very true. The only talks I remember from General Conference are Paul H. Dunn's. I guess the only way for a general conference talk to be memorable is to make sh_t up about being a major league baseball player or the only survivor of your squadron during a World War II battle.

Oh...and I remember President Kimball's talk about the Native Americans' skin becoming "white and delightsome." That's something that stays with a person.

Other than Paul H. Dunn's fake baseball/war stories and President Kimball's bizarre "white and delightsome" talks, any of the conference talks I listened to during my TBM years could be repeated and I wouldn't notice. They all sound the same: "My dear brothers and sisters...blah, blah, blah...in the name of Jesus the Christ, Amen.

Perhaps they'll come Full Circle & change the rendition of the savior's name to either-

J. Christ


or

Jesus H (for Hugh) Christ

or

Hey You, Yee, the guy who sleeps on fishing boats...

heartborken Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Very true. The only talks I remember from General
> Conference are Paul H. Dunn's. I guess the only
> way for a general conference talk to be memorable
> is to make sh_t up about being a major league
> baseball player or the only survivor of your
> squadron during a World War II battle.
>
> Oh...and I remember President Kimball's talk about
> the Native Americans' skin becoming "white and
> delightsome." That's something that stays with a
> person.
>
> Other than Paul H. Dunn's fake baseball/war
> stories and President Kimball's bizarre "white and
> delightsome" talks, any of the conference talks I
> listened to during my TBM years could be repeated
> and I wouldn't notice. They all sound the same:
> "My dear brothers and sisters...blah, blah,
> blah...in the name of Jesus the Christ, Amen.


Ahh... I remember BKP. For decades he scared me. That gravely voice taunting me with never being enough. Listening to The Who, then a friend handing me Worthy Music Worthy Thoughts. I remember PHD, he was cool, he played ball with the Splendid Splinter. When we learned he was a fraud my mother and father in law said: It's OK, he was trying to help us feel the Spirit. Mind boggling. Yes, blah, blah, blah.

My brothers and sisters, the lord god-almighty has just revelated that mankind can now pay in advance for many of the sins he/she has been regularly committing for free.

Please see the financial clerk in your ward for individual sin amounts, daily specials, and bulk sin rates.

Time for an experiment…give the same talk by a different person each conference and see when someone notices. We gave the same retiring speech in Eastern Star for 9 years before people caught on.

Same ol rehash. Watch a general conference from 20 years ago and it will be remarkably the same. At least ten new temples announced. Rinse wash repeat.

There might be a special broadcast from Kirtland but the First Presidency are so old doing that kind of thing is probably too difficult for them. Maybe some apostles will do it if it happens.

They could do a Green Screen segment with temple shots in the background, different GAs saying: "Here I am at the ( x) temple chatting wit a group of local leaders...

Just add the sounds of barking dogs & airplanes at a nearby airport to complete the effect!!

There was a warning announcement that various speakers may speak seated, and others may need assistance getting to and from the podium.

That’s going to make it hard to sell the narrative that the church is strong and vital.

Is the emphasis on garment wearing.
Surprised that they would talk about it in a general world-wide meeting.
But not surprised since for the last few years my Facebook has been splattered with the flesh of all the temple endowed people who are definitely not wearing their garments.

? How many temples were announced?

any update on a temple in Russia, How about China, Viet Nam, or North Korea?

methinks the Saints in Ukraine need a couple of temples too...

Here are the new temples that were announced:

Uturoa, French Polynesia
Chihuahua, Mexico
Florianópolis, Brazil
Rosario, Argentina
Edinburgh, Scotland
Brisbane Australia South Area
Victoria, British Columbia
Yuma, Arizona
Houston Texas South Area
Des Moines, Iowa
Cincinnati, Ohio
Honolulu, Hawaii
West Jordan, Utah
Lehi, Utah
Maracaibo, Venezuela

Utah gets two new temples? Are the ones they have not sufficient? And why does Honolulu need another temple? My reaction when I saw this list was, the Mormon church continues to **** in every decent place.

I think I heard Nelson say there would be 8 new temples in ANY of those locations. I'm not sure I heard him right, but I thought that sounded wishy washy.

Maybe they have some issues to work out in some locations (like angry neighborhoods!).

That's very odd. So they have a lot of irons in the fire, but not all are a sure thing? The announcements have grown to be absurd.

A temple in West Jordan seems to be beside the point. Isn't the Jordan River temple enough? And Brisbane, are the Aussies really all that interested in Mormonism?

Once there are 4 (?) active, functioning stakes, ChurchCo will look at the situation temple-wise;

I'm sure they'd like a temple to be within 2 hours commute, but that fails for Australia.

>Maybe they have some issues to work out in some locations (like angry neighborhoods!

It is already happening in Las Vegas

https://www.ktnv.com/news/tensions-running-high-due-to-proposed-lds-temple-in-lone-mountain-area

"The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints is planning to build on a nearly 20-acre lot near Grand Canyon Drive and Craig Road. LDS leaders first announced plans to build the Lone Mountain temple in October 2022.

Victoria Bremner says she — like many other residents — moved to the northwest for the scenic views, spacious homes, and tranquility. Now she worries that could change.

"[It's] very disillusioning that anyone would think that it is the appropriate type of building size, the scope of it, in this long-established residential neighborhood," Bremner said."

I liked the bit where they pretended the finances are okay. Not a peep on Ensign Peak.