Never been through the temple. Don't have a sacred name. Don't know the handshakes.

What happens when the wife dies first? Where does she go? Is she waiting around for hubby to come call her by her pseudonym and bring her through the veil?

What if he has married another "eternal companion" (as a friend just posted on FB that he did.) Does he bring her along to call 1st wifey?

And suppose hubby "fools around" and doesn't remain chaste. Will wife be assigned to someone else more worthy already arrived in the CK?

Inquiring minds and all that.

    Will there be prizes for the best answers?

Hey, Old Dog, those were serious questions, dammit!

    Dear Mrs. Twinkerbelle, exmormon.org is even more amazing than many of us know.  Here are a couple of links with many fascinating details regarding your interest in buying a mansion in the CK:


https://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon034.htm


https://www.exmormon.org/d6/drupal/Swedenborg-Joseph-Smith-Three-Degrees-of%20Heaven

Thanks Old Dog, for the free passage through the Swedenborg Rabbit Hole.

The whole rubber mallet thing and the handshakes and all that only applies after the Resurrection™, preferably the First one, unless you end up on the junior varsity team.

Until then you are stuck in Spirit Prison™ for the duration, also, ironically, known as Paradise. You get to teach missionary lessons to all the unexalted schlubs, who, somewhat to your surprise, are still not interested. They're having parties, and your are filling out weekly reports about how many First discussions you had. You start to wonder who is in Paradise and who is the prisoner.

Once the Resurrection rolls around, Papa-san gather's his wives one by one. No mention of the other wives. They find out about that at the surprise party that is held when each new wife arrives at the celestial mansion/boarding house.

It's really a bummer to be the last wife on the list. The house is a mess. The chocolate fountain has clogged and stopped working. Kids are out in the yard making a bunch of noise playing with Lawn Darts, which, come to think of it, is how they arrived in the CK as kids in the first place.

I want to know what happens after the resurrection. Do they get back their old SSN or does Social Security issue them a new one? If they died owing money, will debt collectors call? If their stuff was sold at an estate sale, who do they sue to get their stuff back?

Hahaha. You think too much.

Obviously the dead first wife is in heaven, doing the voyeur thing with God, Jesus, angels and all the other dead people. Their job is to watch everyone to see if they do anything nasty.

So, the first wife will be watching all the boinking her hubby does.

Once they are all dead, she can rag at him for not doing that kinky stuff with her I suppose. Once in heaven, they will all have their separate mansions, so they won't be watching each other anymore. But don't worry. All the women will be pregnant and there won't be any jealousy.

If you put together all the stuff they have taught over the years, you come up with a pretty bizarre and comical afterlife.

Here are the short answers from LDSinc:

1) It'll be cleared up in the next life
2) These answers aren't needed for your salvation

And now let me answers the question you should have asked..............tithing.......prayer.... obedience.....

The answers for everything.

Shinehah Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Here are the short answers from LDSinc:
>
> 1) It'll be cleared up in the next life
> 2) These answers aren't needed for your salvation
>
> And now let me answers the question you should
> have asked..............tithing.......prayer....
> obedience.....


U forgot or Neglected Follow The Profit.

for Shame!

The Celestial Kingdom always sounded like a boring mess; especially if you only got to be in the bottom of the Celestial world.

Now, on the other hand, Valhalla is the place for you party people!

The CK sounds like it was dreamed up by a man. It would be hell for women, with being one of many plural wives, and endless childbearing. What woman would call that heaven?

"What woman would call that heaven?"

A queen bee?

valkyriequeen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Celestial Kingdom always sounded like a boring
> mess; especially if you only got to be in the
> bottom of the Celestial world.
>
> Now, on the other hand, Valhalla is the place for
> you party people!


vq- ‘Sorry’ for asking a pesky detail, but is Valhalla restricted to Scandinavians?
Are the Danes & Finns (not from the Scandinavian Peninsula) also welcome (as close cousins) ?

Tusen Takk!

If you want a new sacred name, just make one up. That’s what the church did. At least make it funny.

The LDS afterlife is a mess. Two people are going to have different levels of righteousness so what's to say they would end up in the same kingdom? Sealing makes the issue worse not better in some senses.

The TK allows conjugal visits so living in the CK may require occasional travel.

    . . . It's one of those weird things, suddenly remembering that you still have a BYU starter wife . . .

    All I have to do is live up to expectations ... or get the Second Annoying!