Why not? Nowhere in the US Constitution does it say that the privilege is restricted to one entity. It's not like it's copyrighted or trademarked. Then watch the fireworks.

And while we're at it, somebody besides the Catholics needs to start generating saints. Again- they don't have a legal monopoly on it.

    I've harbored the notion that baptizing different parts of the body could become a thing!!  But I struggle with setting prices . . .

Business might fare better if you adopted negative pricing.

If you know what I mean.

What about Zillow for Celestial real estate? AI can render some nice mansions on Kolob. A modest down payment and yearly maintenance fees secure a spread inside the big guy's compound.

In the Mormon church, you're a saint, and you're a saint, and you're a saint, everybody's a saint!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2024 07:24PM by bradley.

There's already another church doing baptisms for the dead (albeit in a different way: New Apostolic Church, from my limited experience attending a work training/orientation course with one, they are kinda culty too.

anonynon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There's already another church doing baptisms for
> the dead (albeit in a different way: New Apostolic
> Church, from my limited experience attending a
> work training/orientation course with one, they
> are kinda culty too.

The Mandaeans bap their dead but are mostly to be found in Iraq. I'm sure some of them have washed up in America.

That's a great idea slskipper. Since most things revolve around money, maybe charge a modest fee to baptize them into the Telestial kingdom. Of course, the Celestial kingdom would be a little bit more.

And, while you are at it, how about second annointings for the dearly departed. Or back tithing for the dead?

Good idea. You could do it alot cheaper than the competition. Here are some ideas to undercut the Mormons:

-Only charge 5% of their salary to be told they are special.

-Provide membership cards like temple recommends that also give discounts for popular stores.

-Hold occassional meetings at public parks. That way there is no need for buildings.

-Have one person do a "baptism" for and behalf of all mankind, alive or dead. Video tape the baptism for members to watch. People can be baptized and their ancestors will be baptized automatically, all by proxy. No need to leave the couch!

-

You want to really undercut the Mormons, put a costco food court in your celestial room, with the $1.50 hotdog combo. Mormons will walk over broken glass barefoot to save $6. It doesn't matter how much it cost them to get through the door.

You're thinking too small about generating saints. The Hindus are already generating whole gods.

Mormons are already doing that too, except the Mormon gods are all on the layaway plan.

[for those of you under 60, a layaway plan was where you went into a department store and saw an item you liked. You could make a down payment and the store would set it aside for you until you came in with the rest of the payment. And if you didn't come in by some deadline, they kept the money, and resold the item. ]

Mormon godhood is conveniently promised after death, though you must keep on the hamster wheel for the rest of your life. If you get the Second Anointing™, your product is paid in full, but you still can't take delivery until after death. Again, how convenient for the provider of the product.

It's all kind of like the Nigerian prince that will split millions with you, but first needs a $1 thousand to set up the account to transfer the money to you.

BUT YOUR HAND ON THE TELEVISION (or radio, or laptop) and chant: SAVE ME JEBUS! three times (mote allowed if you're deathly ill/ near dead. Exceptions for sudden -accidental injuries-deaths)...

Mail your free-will donations to...

My gwad Blees you & Welcome you to his Glory!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2024 10:48AM by GNPE.

You will probably make more money selling certificates of Resignation for those baptized after they are dead.

Utah spawns one scam after another because Mormons are easy pickings. The religion encourages and selects for uncritical credulity.