Posted by:
Forestpal not logged in
(
)
Date: February 17, 2025 08:08PM
I remember all of it! I logged onto RFM, after reading Mormonism and the Magic World View, by Quinn, loaned to me by a friend who was a Professor at BYU. He and I both “studied our way out of the church”, as we used to say. What was the name of that little non-Mormon bookstore in SLC?
I can never thank you-all and RFM enough! I was a divorced working mother (completely abandoned by my cheating Mormon husband), and I was the only one in my large GA extended family to 1)get divorced and 2)resign from the cult. It wasn’t rebellion, or courage, but it was my extreme unhappiness, at being disrespected as a woman, constantly blamed for the divorce, blamed for being unwilling to quickly find another temple husband, blamed for things I never did and never would do, No one realized how very important integrity, morality, unconditional love, and kindness were to me and my children. (My wonderful Mormon parents were embarrassed about the divorced, but they understood and supported me. They lived far away, and died before I resigned.)
Our ward needed more good children for their Scouting program (two Eagle Scouts), YW, Primary attendance. I was a ward organist, piano accompanist, credentialed teacher for SS & RS, Co-chairman of the Regional Single Adults, bringer of food, cleanup crew, etc. I was conscientious in these “callings” (demands), and my biggest regret is the time wasted on Mormon busy-work, instead of putting that time into my children, my career, our much-needed tranquility, and playtime.
So, on top of being manipulated and marginalized, I was learning facts about LDS, Inc. that I never knew, but needed to know, in order to resolve the cognitive dissonance. Thanks, RFM, for that too.
The posters on RFM knew. The Mormon doctrines and church in general were just--well--draining and depressing--and very negative. I was “nothing” when I walked into that building. When some Ward leaders became abusive to my children, (and other children), I told my children that they never had to go there again.
After the divorce, I was suddenly my family’s sole financial support, so I worked hard, out of panic, got more education, and had a demanding career--but it was uplifting and invigorating, compared to the church. In my post-Mormon life, I finally found value, happiness, satisfaction in TRULY helping others, joy in meeting a variety of good families--and keeping them from being conned. My children & I were/are close and loving. I think if I had kept pushing Mormonism onto them, it would have pulled my family apart.
22 years later, I’m still here in my house, recently purchased from me by one son, enjoying living with him and his family (Heaven on Earth!) My daughter’s family is only one block away, and the others 3 & 5 miles away. All are happily married, good human beings, loving parents, successful, upbeat. All my grandchildren (ages 3-16) are great!
If not for RFM, who would have understood the need to know the Truth? Who would have patiently answered all my questions? Who would have given me advice? Who would have made me see humor in things? Who would have been there for me when the kids were asleep and I was all alone at 3:00 am, frightened, uncertain, gaslighted? Who was there when my Mormon family and Mormon neighbors shunned me and my children?
(A word about shunning. My children were a good influence on the Mormon kids, many of whom were unsupervised, got into drugs, unwanted pregnancies, etc. We actually benefitted from being shunned by these dysfunctional kids & parents! My kids were sacrificing too much to help kids who could not be helped (so far). My daughter was very shy, but pretty, nice, cooperative, and princilped--and several Mormon neighbors tried to push her into accepting dates with their rebellious sons, to “reform” them. Ugh! That made me the maddest of all! My daughter turned them all down, always reaffirming: “I’m looking for only one thing in a man: GOODNESS.” She married a good man, at age 26)
Some of life’s obstacles are best overcome by simply leaving. Is that running away? Not at all! We didn’t leave each other, our goals & deeams, or God, or anything worthwhile, or the neighborhood, schools, community, our non-fanatic lifetime friends. Maybe it’s more of a “weeding-out” process, than a leaving. There’s so much more to life than Mormonism!
God bless RFM!