I know a widely discussed topic on this board is sharing the word that the church is a hoax with TBMs.

I have generally avoided this. I have seen so many cases where people just don't want to know and it only causes strife.

Before I left the church, I was very close to my cousin's wife. They live across the country so I don't see them much anyway but since I left we have grown apart to the point that I have had no contact with her in over a year.

I never told her about my apostasy but I'm sure she knows I have at least drifted because last time she saw me there were obvious signs that I was no longer living the life of a TBM. She said nothing about though and we just avoided the topic altogether.

Most of my family is happily TBM and I am happy to leave them to it, but I think about her a lot, especially since I started hanging around here. I would love to see her get out of the church, especially since she has adopted three beautiful black children and the idea of them being raised in a racist church turns my stomach. I do give her credit that she does not have the usual racist or patronizing views that most mormons have, but I am still concerned for them.

Her husband, my cousin, is an ultra, holier-than-thou TBM. She seems to take a lot of comfort in the church. I am really scared that if I bring up the subject at all it will only cause her pain.

I'm not sure what kind of advice I am looking for here but this has been weighing on my mind a lot.

I have also stayed away from trying to spread the word to those in the cult. I remember hearing some of this stuff when I was a TBM and I was able to justify it somehow in my mind.

When people ask my about my apostasy I say that in studying the history of the church I found it was not what they said it was and usually leave it at that. If they ask more I will give some more specific information. I can always tell the point when they get pissed off because they go to the "well, it is a great way to raise a family anyway" line.

I also have certain people I have been close to and I see how miserable this church makes them, but they are still so deep in it that I think saying anything only makes them more defensive.I think when they want to change they will reach out. But it is hard to watch some really wonderful people give everything to a corporation that only takes and harms.

I have no advise for you but I do understand what you are going through. I think many of us are in the same boat.

Your story sounds too familiar. My sister is the uber-TBM. Everything she does, everything she talks about, revolves around some Morg related activity. She knows where I stand but we never talk about it. I like the Packham quote that WCG (above) posted. Sums up my feelings exactly.

To make matters worse, my extended family (aunts, uncles, cousins) are almost all fundegelicals. Yikes! Makes my life as an atheist uncomfortable at family reunions.

Even if I believe I'm justified in expressing my opinions, doing so would only create hard feelings and animosity. What would be the point? What good would it do? Some things are better left unsaid.