I was out on an evening stroll with my boyfriend when we saw two missionaries ride by on their bikes. They had an inclination to turn around and ask us if we have heard of the LDS church. I said yes, I am an exmormon. Then one of them asked me if I had any referrals? I thought...for real?? I said no I don't and I don't want to waste your time. Then I made eye contact with one...the less nerdy looking one and tried to tell him with my eyes to get the hell out of there. Then the other one said something again about referrals to my boyfriend and I said--my whole family is still Mormon, we aren't interested and you guys have a safe night. It breaks my heart to see young kids out trying to talk to people about a failing false church. I wonder if I should have gotten into a debate about why it's false. I kind of wish I did but then again that might give them fuel not to leave. I never know what to do?? When I see Mormons my heart goes a-wall...that church had a hold on me for so long. Do you guys have any stories about missionary encounters post leaving?

The first time, one missionary asked to be able to teach lessons in the home. And I said that that would not only be unecessary but wouldn't end well for them.

The other time they came over, I just laid out the no teaching rule and we had a very pleasant visit that didn't include anything to do with the church.

I think it depends on the situation and your personality. If you can't see missionaries without a heightened heartbeat, you probably shouldn't debate them.

It is funny how awkward they are about still asking for referrels anyway. You are an exmo. It was terrible for you enough to leave, so who would you refer to them anyway?

I think it will get easier in time, just last month I saw my family for the first time since I came clean and said I am a non-believer. That was intense for me. I like the whole idea of giving of yourself and precious time away for service but not in the name of the LDS church. I bet a mission does humble you a lot and can do a lot of good. I want to respect people that are trying to do something good with their time. I kind of look forward to meeting up with them again and will plan it out better.

And you get to say what you want to if you want to say anything at all.

There are times now when someone asks if I'm a Mormon because I'm from Utah and I just say, "No."

Other times I'm more than happy to give the story.

It just depends on the circumstance.

Use the Force, Notinspite.

I'm in arizona. Kolobians run deep here. After having sold afterlife insurance policies for 2 years I know exactly what tricks & angles the elders are trained to use to start a discussion. It's easy.

Elders: We're missionaries from the COJCOLDS. Have you ever had a chance to speak with missionaries before?

Kolobian: I could tell. You're the only preachers who dress alike.

Elders: We'd like to share a very important message with you. Do you have a few minutes?

Kolobian: Sure, I'm not doing anything. (i make them sit on the patio, I don't let them inside. I offer them refreshments)

Elders: Do you mind me asking what church you go to? (This is what they ask so they know how to frame the discussion. If I'm catholic, attack idols and mary. If I'm x-ian, go the authority route, etc.)

Kolobian: I don't understand the question.

Elders: Well, do you believe in god?

Kolobian: Do I believe in which god? There are so many. (Jr. Companion looks at Sr. Companion for assistance)

Elders: We believe that god is our heavenly father and he loves us. We believe that we are all brothers and sisters of our heavenly father.

Kolobian: What makes you think that?

Elders: (looking at each other, realizing they have absolutely no common ground to work from, no straw arguments to construct, nothing to attack) Well, because we've prayed about it.

Kolobian: And what happened when you prayed about it?

Elders: I received an answer through the holy ghost that god was real and that he loves me.

Kolobian: Really? You talked to a ghost? What did it look like? (Sincerely asked, not sarcastically)

Elders: Well, you don't actually see the holy ghost, you feel it. It's a feeling of peace (insert other completely normal feelings here)

Kolobian: Oh, well of course you felt peace. What would you expect to feel when asking such a question?

Elders: What do you mean?

Kolobian: Well, you say you prayed to your god to see if he was real. In order to pray to your god, you first had to pretend that he existed. You had to pretend that not only did he exist, but that he was listening to you. You even had to pretend that he would answer you. You'd already answered your own question before you asked it, and your mind confirmed what you already believed. It's basic psychology: a positive-reinforcement feedback loop.

Elders: It wasn't in my head. It was the holy ghost.

Kolobian: No offense, but how can you know for sure?

Elders: We have faith.

Kolobian: Fair enough, but that's not knowing, is it? In fact, "faith" is an admission of lack of knowledge. You just believe that your experience came from the holy ghost, but you can't prove it. And if you are honest you have to admit that there is no way that you can "know" beyond the shadow of a doubt that it wasn't all in your head.

Elders: Well, we have to be going now. Thanks for the water.

well, don't argue with them.
most of them are kids just out of high school manipulated by fear (or their mom). for the most part they are really nice too.

be friendly and polite. tell them not to 'teach' about the church. or alternatively, ask them the hard questions but without them telling you their testimony and blah blah..

ask them about zarahemla, where is it? dna and the lamanites? book of abraham?

i got de-converted when i was on my mission when people asked me questions like that. then i'd go to my mission president and got no real answers. then i knew that something was up.

plant the seed.

These are good, thank you!!