1) The underwear. Magical drawers that provide an all-hazard barrier and remind the faithful not to have sexual relations with anyone other than one's spouse. They come in a variety of lengths, materials, and styles...yes, you can still get the "union suit version" with the flap in back.
2) Constant turmoil over what is "allowed" and what is not. For example, the "approved" list of Sabbath day activities varies widely. Can you watch TV? Only the BYU channel? How about the news? Should your kids be playing outside? In shorts??? Can you have a family picnic at the lake? No approved list from SLC means everyone "rolls their own"...and therefore also comdemns others for Sabbath Day breakage.
3) Word of Wisdom. Similar to #2. What can you eat/drink? What is "allowed" and what is not? Energy drinks OK but coffee is bad? Tea is bad but diet coke is ok? Herbal teas?
4) Claims of being the "restored" gospel [all other religions are false] founded on ancient (but lost) "truths" on one hand....but completely amendable to changing doctrines depending on the prevailing political winds (e.g. polygamy, blacks and priesthood, etc) on the other.
5) Follow a modern day prophet, seer, and revelator that doesn't prophesy, "see", or reveal anything. As far as being a "Seer", the church is in possession of previously, prophet-utilized seer stones that remain hidden from public view and are assumed unused.
6) Claim to have dismissed polygamy, but believe in polygamy in the hereafter. In fact, allow some men to be "sealed" [married] to more than one wife with the intent of living polygamously (if that is even a word?) in the hereafter.
7) Claim that the Bible is corrupt, but unable to identify which chapters and verses are the corrupt ones.
8) Have billions of dollars in assets and cash, but want members to clean the bathrooms in the church buildings.
9) Send 19 year olds out on two year "missions" with little preparation in refuting well-known and easily "googlable" arguments against Mormonism.
10) Claim that the Book of Mormon is about ancient Americans but have no legitimate archeaological evidence. Several theories exist, but the "prophet" seems unable to confirm which is correct.
11) Pressure their young men to marry at 21.
12) Pressure their young women to marry young 21 year old men who have returned from "missions".
13) Think male facial hair is disrepectful and unprofessional.
14) Want to be considered unique (all other religions are false), but have re-designed their meetinghouses and have a national ad campaign to seem more mainstream.
Add your own......
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2011 01:14PM by jw the inquizzinator.
16) Insisting that, if a family is experiencing financial hardship, it is better, i.e. more spiritual, to continue to pay a full tithing and go on public and church assistance than it is to divert the money to where it is desperately needed - bills, food for the kids, etc.
17) Preaching that the parts of the Bible Joseph Smith outright copied are inspired.
19) Male-centric. Young men start receiving priesthood at an early age, and this supposedly elevates them with knowledge and spiritual direction. This means that a woman who wants counseling should consult her 16-year-old priesthood-holding son for help. (IMHO a 16-year-old boy cannot possibly pass along wisdom to his mother. He can't even pick his dirty underwear up off the floor.)
20) Glorification of sex in the exalted afterlife. A Celestial Wife can look forward to an ETERNITY of pooping out spiritual babies.
21) God was once a man. (Sorry. My concept of God is infinitely greater than THAT.)
22) A personal "testimony" trumps EVERYTHING: experience, research, common sense...
VOW- Regarding #19 and the dirty underwear- The boy would be too busy to pick up the underwear. That is the mother's job. He has too many important spritual matters to attend to. ;)
Ginger, that's just one of the many reasons why I never was, and never could be a Mormon. When my son was 16, I didn't believe most of the stuff that came out of his mouth. From when they were little bitty kids, I informed my children that they lived in MY HOUSE and we did things MY WAY.
A sixteen-year-old bossing around his mother? No way.
My kids are grown now, and they are absolutely wonderful people and I'm very proud of them.
29. Using fake swear words such as Eff, fetch, arse, dumbbutt. Or just replacing swear words completely with random words in a pathetic attempt to sound cute/funny/innocent, for example "Son of a biscuit-eater!" "Holly cupcakes!" "Oh my Gilbert God-frey!".
It just makes me want to FUCKING hurl.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/11/2011 12:41AM by AtheistMarine.
"Arse" is a real swearword in Britain. It's our version of "ass", which we know is considered swearing in the US, but is not in the UK. So not "fake", just "foreign".
The ultimate weirdness about Mormonism is that no one seems to know what Mormons believe. For every ten Mormons that tell you that God was once a man and man can become a god there are ten who will tell you that's anti-Mormon bile and the church never taught that. I've never in my life seen an organization that waffled on it's doctrine so repeatedly and obviously.
36. Pressuring high school seniors and 21 year old RM's to go to a BYU campus instead of a cheaper state university even if the state school would offer a free ride.
37. The idea that people should "get over it" when not allowed to see their convert child get married in the temple.
39. Compulsory priesthood. If that isn't one of the dumbest ideas ever. Drafted at age twelve and disgusted. Hello Mormons: the war against reality is over. Reality won.
40. The temple baker's cap. I can't blame them for making that secret.
eww what about this one was converted when i was 31ish and the ladies of the church wanting me to meet their 21 year old sons back from missions because I was single and not married to anyone in the church. The call also from my bishop asking why I have not come in for my temple reccomend yet...dude i lost my job because i got off work at 530 am could not sleep because church started at noon to 4pm then back to work at 530 pm to 530 am and surprize i was passing out by 9 pm at work because "there is no excuse to miss church"