Today while I was walking to my hotel room in downtown San Francisco and thinking about how awesome it was going to be getting a glass of wine, I was stopped by a young girl and a young man wearing official Red Cross shit and a binder. The girl asked if I had a minute, and because day dreaming about wine put me in a good mood, I obliged her to lay out whatever bullshit spiel she was about to.

She stated that she was there (meaning "hanging out on the sidewalk where the hobos piss and sleep at night") to do public outreach for the Red Cross and asked me if I knew about the organization. I told her that I had, and at that point she started a rushed and canned presentation that was obviously written by a committee and had very specific points that were meant to tug at my heart strings about disasters and unlucky fuckers whose lives get ruined by "acts of god."

Being young and wishing to rush through her long winded spiel that she was obviously forced to memorize and repeat nearly verbatim over and over and over again, she brushed quickly over those moments. However, she did pause occasionally after asking specific questions that were meant for me to say "yes" to. And I did because I was partially paying attention.

Remember. There was wine to get to.

After a few of these questions and my suspicions growing like a young boy's genitals in the lingerie section of a department store, the young lady pulled out a form to get all my information and to sign me up for monthly donations to your organization.

When I told her that I couldn't do monthly donations right now, the young woman asked, "Why not?"

My suspicions turned to disgust...like a female store clerk viewing a young man wandering around the lingerie section of a department store. And my disgust wasn't just because this stupid bitch was all up in my shit and dared question who she should truly be groveling before.

No. No.

My disgust came because at one time, I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

And I did the same FUCKING THING!

I stopped people on the streets who were most likely thinking about booze. I gave them a half truth about what I was REALLY doing there. I gave canned, heartless speeches that included occasional affirming questions. And then, when I really got to the point, that I wanted something from these unwitting rubes, and they objected in a simple and polite way, I asked, "why not?" putting the person on the defensive and causing their brain to try to find a nice way of saying, "NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS YOU TACTLESS DILDO!"

Now, I'm going to give your organization some free advice.

Stop!

Seriously, fucking stop! Whoever sold you the lie that this kind of bullshit works is fucking wrong.

You may think that you are getting monthly donations for very little administrative costs, but you are ruining your reputation in the process.

With this kind of selling tactic and for every person that actually signs up, there are an unquantifiable but large number of people who think, "Wow. Fuck the Red Cross. I thought they were there to help people, but are they now just a scam? Are they that desperate, that they have to push a 'hard' sell on to people just to get money?"

You want to do public outreach? Great.

You want to do get monthly donations so you can help more people in times of disasters? Great.

But DON'T USE MORMON MISSIONARY TACTICS.

If you look closely, you'll see that it hasn't worked for the Mormons, and it won't work for you.

I walked away from your representative disgusted and angry and without even a brochure, because when I told her that I couldn't donate now, but I could in the future, she said that she wasn't allowed to give out anything, BUT she COULD take my information down so that YOU could call ME. And when I said no to that, she then asked again, "Why not?"

Fuck you, Red Cross.

That's why not.

LOL... I'm sorry you got hit up for money, but I do appreciate the hilarious story!

Hope you enjoyed your wine!

In the UK these people are known as Chuggers, as in Charity Muggers. ;o))

Their hourly rate is more than I get. And I have a 'real' job! :oD

I have found that a long soliloquy, in pig Latin of course, drains the color from their face. I punctuate the last 14 or 15 sentences by stabbing my index finger in their direction.
I have yet to fill out any donation paper work.

First of all how disgusting for her to ask why not, if you say you can't, you can't! It's none of their damn business.

Second..."my suspicions growing like a young boy's genitals in the lingerie section of a department store"

You always amuse me, thank you RJesus

My wife finds that addressing them in Welsh helps. And on the odd occasion when the person does speak Welsh, they are usually so thrilled to find another Welsh speaker -in a non-Welsh speaking area- that they chat for ages, but NOT about the charity! ;o))

I hear you, raptorjesus. I have a "No Soliciting" sign on my front door at eye level. Still, they ring the bell.

I think the charity I like best is The Salvation Army. Once, when my brother was low on funds, they paid his utilities for him. They asked nothing in return.

I agree with you that the Red Cross should immediately drop the street panhandling.

when we found out that the local chief (arrogant bstrd) earned around 80K a year just for sitting in the board. And the xmas cards they sold a few years ago - a pack of ten cards cost a small fortune but only 10 cents or so went into charity, rest was "administrative costs". People who stand at stations and pavements gathering cash, are volunteers in my country.

When I was in the Peace Corps, one of my colleagues was kicked out of the country courtesy of an arrogant Red Cross director.

I was a Disaster Team Captain (supervisor) east of Seattle...
I was up at 0200 to go out to Fires, etc more times than you can count <get the picture?>

this might be something new..but I pretty much bet it won't last.

Until YOUR HOUSE has been on fire (first thing is to pull the electric meter, btw) with no relatives / friends who will take you in... I suggest you Don't Knock It!

and YES! call them & tell them that you made the missionary association... my guess is... Unless a Mo at/near the top did this.. it'll be GONE by morning.

However: Do Give if U can! Very Little 'Bloated bureaucracy' there (local level, anyway).

I know they are there to help.

This isn't helping.

The building across the street from me caught fire last year. Residents of three condos had to find new housing. Red Cross volunteers were on the scene and they weren't just helping with logistics: they were very nice people. I hope they are there for me if a similar disaster befalls me.

Having said that, I live in a very engaged, politically and socially active community that is also home to a large number of panhandlers. Some days you can't tell if the person asking for money is a charity representative or a panhandler. Some panhandlers pretend to be charity reps.

I never give any personal information or money to anyone I meet on the street. If I want to donate to a cause, I can find their website.

They are probably trying to make up for a shortfall from government cuts or the economy. They help a lot of people in the U.S. too.

I do not mean this as political, but just to illustrate that in some states necessary funds the Red Cross distribute are being cut. I just read this the other day:

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/metropolitan/kildayhart/7687224.html#ixzz1UUVvQDcg

The disabled, and elderly depend on utility assistance, and the Red Cross helps distribute it.

In Utah, their site says they get their funds from:

- Tax deductable contributions from local residents made with their utility payments
- Donations sent directly to the Greater Salt Lake Area Chapter
- And generous donations from utility employees and stockholders

I don't know if Utah can or will raid the funds, but last year's were lower, and I was told this year's funds would be even lower.

TSCC manipulates real human needs, and emotions, and exploit these for their benefit. In the process, LD$ ruin real charity, and empathy for the rest of us. TSCC is not harmless, they do not do good, are not a grand self-improvement program that makes people moral - they are dysfunctional, and hurt people. They are a corporation that collects money through fraud, and builds malls with it. I wish I could undo the cult's damage.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/16/2011 12:42AM by atheist&happy:-).