It hit me today that nonconformity is an insult to the group. It says:

I don't care what you people think.

I don't care what you believe.

I don't care what you want.

I think you're wrong.

I think you're boring.

I don't like you.

And so on.

So they see our rejection of Mormonism as a rejection of them. That's why the persecution complex is so strong in Mormonism. It's not really, "Boo-hoo, they don't like my religion." It's "Boo-hoo, they think I'm stupid for believing it."

Nonconformity says you have no authority over me and cannot control or manipulate me. I am my own person.

I ran into another layer of the emphasis on conformity recently. Mormon friends were discussing where to go on a family vacation. Seems there are approved destinations, and those that are frowned upon. If I didn't know better, I'd think the Elders Quorum had drawn up a list of approved vacations, and anything not on the list was a warning sign that Satan was lurking nearby.

I agree whole heartedly that non conformity, essentially a message about Mormon beliefs and life is considered by Mormons to be "you think I'm stupid too."

I think it runs a little deeper too.

Mormons are so enmeshed and entangled individually wiith their religion that they have no separate identity. They are the church and the church is who they are. I was like that for years. There was no independent me.

Rejection of Mormon beliefs, history and culture, meant someone was rejecting and even persecuting me.

disruptive

dissonant

uncontrollable

You might show me the world is different from what I thought it was and maybe I can't cope with that world. There is only *one* reality--and it is *my* reality. Right? Right?

Perfect for me. I love the way you distilled that. It goes right in my file. I will take full credit of course.

Stray Mutt Wrote:
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It's not
> really, "Boo-hoo, they don't like my religion."
> It's "Boo-hoo, they think I'm stupid for believing
> it."


Exactly right.

Mormons are not people who happen to believe in Mormonism but Mormons who happen to be people. They are Mormons before they are people.

To them, leaving Mormonism isn't leaving a system of belief but is leaving a group of people. They take it personally because they do not separate their beliefs from themselves as human. Alas.

" what do you know Fred, you're not even a member"
thanks for that