...And I'm almost in tears because she won't even listen to what I have to say, because, "I'm really sorry and this sounds really crazy, but I just don't think I can talk to you about anything that I believe," like it's too sacred what she believes that she can't talk about it..

Anyways, I explained why I left.... So now my mom, dad, AND sister know about me now. She wasn't shocked because she knew that I had stopped going to church. She was very concerned about me though, and I told her some of the main reasons I had left and that I feel betrayed and lied to... At least she listened to everything I had to say.

I feel jipped (I don't know if I spelled that right). I'm almost in tears because she's so indoctrinated (she lives in Utah) and she couldn't even be open minded about what I had to say. It's depressing, but at least she's happy. As an end note to our conversation, I said something like, "I think the most important thing is that I'm happy, I'm doing good, doing good to others, and I'm a genuinely good person. No God that I know of would separate my family in the next life." Of course she had responses for everything I said and nothing I said got to her, but I wish and hope that someday she'll know that nothing can, should, or will pull our family apart, and whoever puts that into her mind is a cruel man.

One thing I remember her saying is that... "those bad things in the church are man-made..." or something to that extent. i.e. it's the people, not the church. Well it's man who MADE the church. All I can do is keep talking to her and let her know I'm still happy. She believes that there's going to be disasters and people dying and basically like a second-coming apocalypse holocaust, and that "hopefully we're together at that time". I said I agreed, and that I do too agree that the world is corrupt and evil and yes, the world IS changing, but I CANNOT believe that all the good people out there that aren't mormon will suffer just because they don't believe. Everything she said was depressing. It wasn't happy, it wasn't uplifting. She said I needed to seek happy things and find a church to make happy friends. I said I don't need a church to be happy, and that I'm happy with what I do now. I garden, I play the piano, I do things that make me happy. Everything she was talking about was so UN-uplifting... is that what the church needs to do? Scare their members? Apparently it does...

In conclusion....
I hate Utah. I hate all the indoctrinated people that indoctrinate even more people. I hate Joe Smith, I hate their church, and it's the most depressing, un-God-like organization out there and I find it so sad that people believe that kind of shit.

RfM and other ex-mormon organizations need to do more advertising because most of the stuff we talk about here, the mormons don't even know, don't believe, or are oblivious of. Ex-mormons have only a sliver of likes on facebook compared to the church, by the way. I think we should all strive to come out of the closet. Yes, families will become upset, yes, you may be shunned, yes, you may lose your job. But in the end, we're all being honest, and setting an example of what mormons SHOULD be. All of us ex-mormons are bright individuals who want to know the truth. I think we're one of the best kinds of people out there. We had the courage to break away from the chains and ties of a cult, and we also have the power to let other people know about our stories. It's all we can do to stop the MORG from spreading their lies.

Sorry for the rant, it's probably not as long as other people's rants, but it's really upsetting that my sister can't be open-minded and look at the damn facts that are out there, and get pretty close to the point of disowning me as a sister. She believes some old fart's words that were passed down for generations from a lying scam artist who wasn't a good person at all.

The only thing she was surprised about me saying was Joseph Smith as a treasure hunter.... I said that was in church history and he actually says it himself and she was still surprised.... maybe it starts from there?

I'm glad I have people here that can help me through hard times. Thanks for all that you do!

You will never be able to talk to a TBM family member about your disbelief. Because you are attacking their religion. It sucks to lose close family ties or lose the ability to have a conversation, but it is what it is with them. We leave and are no longer worthy of their time because we are not focusing on eternity. We are being selfish and focusing on earthly, temporary, selfish things.

And I guess I got on a soap box for a bit there too.

Sorry bout your sis. Hopefully she'll lighten up and see that you are still the same.

I had a recent conversation with my little brother a few months ago about how we'd been lied to and all that. He didn't respond kindly to anything I told him.

HOWEVER, I just remind myself that I planted a seed and maybe one day he will become curious like I did and do some researching. That's all you can really do and hope for.

You're happy. Mormons don't think that's possible if you leave the church so just keep showing them how happy you are and maybe she'll come around some day. I NEVER thought in a million years I would ever lose my "testimony," whatever the hell that really is. But there's always hope!!!

Fear of the apocalypse,
Fear of "the world" and its evil influences
Fear of losing the spirit, or blessings, or whatever


I couldn't see that underlying fear when I was in the church. Even the greatest blessing, being an eternal family, is based on the idea that you will lose your family if you don't do everything you are told. Members sacrifice so much to earn something they probably ALREADY HAVE--a relationship with people they love.

The idea that a loving god would separate people who love each other is evidence that they believe their God is a pretty mean guy. No wonder they are afraid.

I feel like I could have written your post. I've had to tell myself over and over just to leave it alone with my family. They don't get it. They won't ever unless they seek out information because they want to. It's extremely frustrating, but it is what it is.

I pretty much told her everything I could think of that really irritated me and offended me... and she just came up with excuse after excuse after excuse, and I KNOW she had that smirky little superficial grin on her face the whole time, like, "You're lost, but I still love you." It drives me insane! I lost my sister for a robot. The one thing the church takes away, is your ability to have common sense!

The number one thing that bothers me though... is that she WILL NOT look into it. That's basically saying that she doesn't trust me, doesn't respect all the time and effort I've put into this, and believes that I'm lying when I say I was in her exact same position (believing in the church heavily). It's a slap in my face.

I need to get over it, but I never think I can. I'm living a happier life without mormonism, but I don't think I will ever be content with knowing that my family believes in a cult and won't listen to what I have to say. That's what hurts the most.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/18/2011 11:55PM by fancypants.

There are four emxormons to every one Mormon.

Plus, Mormon conversions have been flat for the last decade.

Plus, retention rates are increasingly bad.

What's hard is that Mormonism has most of the people we love and care about.

But fewer people are sticking around. Take comfort in the small things.

Oh boy. Those kinds of conversation with believers almost always go badly.

I've decided to just let it be. I understand what it's like to be immersed in the religion, it's culture, it's life style.
Now, I don't bring up the religion. I make it a non-issue. That is the only way I have found to preserve the relationships.
They have their beliefs and I have mine and they don't mesh, so I do what my "dad" taught me: if you want to keep a friend, don't discuss religion or politics. I want to keep relationships, so I treat others like I want to be treated:love them unconditionally and accept them as-is!