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Posted by: FreeRose ( )
Date: August 20, 2011 08:28AM

The Phood holder marries in the temple which gives him the "right" to a bazillion plural wives in the CK. Where do these *sister wives* come from? Too-young-to-marry girls that died? Never married women? Nevermo women?


How twisted IS this?

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Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: August 20, 2011 08:40AM

Which is one of the excuses for polygamy in this life. So few men will be truly worthy, so the story goes, that there will all these worthy women without husbands, blah blah blah...

Or maybe the wives without end will be imported from Elohim's other planets where there are no men.

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Posted by: scarecrowfromoz ( )
Date: August 21, 2011 11:20PM

Well, he starts with one wife. They have spirit children that get sent down to his own planet (like Adam and Eve) and have children....after they die, he marries the females....and so on.....when you've got eternity, you eventually build up your harem, just like the God of this planet did in 5000 years.

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Posted by: Geneticerror ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 12:29PM

Celestial incest?

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Posted by: Outcast ( )
Date: August 21, 2011 11:24PM

That in the Kingdom, we will be "like angels" and there will be no marriage.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: August 21, 2011 11:28PM

That was one of those passages that was translated incorrectly.

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Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 12:42AM

In heaven the women will be Stepford Wives and will smilingly share their "righteous" (excuse me while I barf) man.

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Posted by: PapaKen ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 01:09PM


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Posted by: helemon ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 12:50AM

Outcast Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That in the Kingdom, we will be "like angels" and
> there will be no marriage.

One of the primary purposes of marriage is to provide a stable environment to raise children. And tbe primary purpose of sex is procreation to replace people who die. If an angel lives forever why would there be a need to procreate? If there is no need to procreate why would they need marriage to provide a stable environment in which to raise children.

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Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 12:51AM

Me, I checked the box for utter destruction because I don't want to exist in a universe where self centered, narcissistic, knuckledragging Mormon men get to be gods of their own planets.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 12:32PM

Right on. I checked the box for "utter destruction" no matter what. Immortality does not appeal to me in the least.

If I somehow live on after I die (which doesn't seem likely) I can only hope I don't remember that I had lived before.

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Posted by: topojoejoe ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 02:54PM

Yes, in life according to mormonism, except most christians do not believe in the 'pre-existence' believing instead that we are 'creations of God' the same as other creations. That angels are also a creation of God, and that Angels are not spirit bodies from the pre-existence.

That was one of the hardesd thing I had to realize as I was not aware that other people did not believe in the pre-existance. So, no, there is no need to keep creating spirit babies to take over the earthly bodies. If you believe in the whole God thing and the bible, then you believe that God created the bodies and then breathed life into them. That you did not 'pre-exist' were not 'pre-ordained' or pre anything.

Me, I am still in the fence about the whole God thing, do not know one way or the other what I believe. But at least now I do know the difference between what mormoms believe regarding the pre-existance, and what the rest of christianity believes.

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Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 12:54AM

where there are no ...wait a minute, the future of the Earth is that there are NO WOMEN! It's already begun, the selective abortion of female fetuses by the millions in China and India. Young men loitering on corners, dragging around their blowup dolls.

So, the intelligent Mormon watcher must conclude that the women come from another dimension, I'm guessing

JOSEPH SMITH'S EROTIC IMAGINATION!


Anagrammy

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 01:15AM

(most) women who've been raised ChurchCo 'follow the prophet'...ONLY believe that the idealized version of (a) Peter Priesthood / Walking Wallet kinda guy is suitable for them to marry!

you see...Everything in ChurchCo/Morland is like a Ladder; you're either Below someone that has authority over You ... OR, you're in authority over those people next to you: next door, sitting in church, or in a meeting.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/22/2011 01:17AM by guynoirprivateeye.

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Posted by: Gorspel Dacktrin ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 01:36AM

is entirely driven by testosterone-driven sexual urges and the related notion that the highest level of spiritual advancement has to consist of an endless sexual buffet of diverse and exquisitely attractive females--who are nonetheless uniformly perfect in their physical forms--to meet the needs of eternal sexual appetites...all Mormon logic leads to the conclusion that there is no such thing as incest in the Celestial Kingdom--or more accurately, incest is not a sin in the Celestial kingdom.

God impregnated his daughter Mary so that she could give birth to her brother Jesus. Are you confused yet? You shouldn't be. The big secret of Mormonism that is only hinted at in the temple is that the Celestial Kingdom is basically a free-for-all eternal orgy paradise. But it's heirarchical, so those with the biggest priesthoods get first dibs on everything and everyone. Why do you think you need secret handshakes and passwords to get into the club?

So to all TBMs dreaming of living large in the CK, how's that workin' out for ya? Are you keepin' the dream alive? Is that what you really think constitutes the pinnacle of spiritual enlightenment and advancement? Do you realize yet what a pathetic joke Mormonism is? Okay, enough questions for today.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 03:47AM

the CK sounded a lot more appealing to guys than to women.

I mean, for anybody who has ever borne and raised children, the thought of doing that FOREVER just doesn't sound like anything I'd care for.

I can see where it could be paradise for a horny guy, but for a woman, to be pregnant over and over and over, and raising all those kids for eternity - no thanks. Not my idea of Heaven at all.

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Posted by: xMo ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 02:22AM

"Where do these *sister wives* come from?"

Maybe they're just holograms.

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Posted by: snowowl ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 03:10AM

Your question represents one of the theological problems that discontinuing the practice of polygamy created. Prior to the Manifesto of 1890, polygamy was to be initiated in this life, so that when a person was exalted in the Celestial Kingdom, they already had wives that had been sealed to them during their temporal life on earth.

However, Mormon theology is continually changing and so did the view of heaven, and the inability to practice polygamy in this temporal life necessitated a belief that it would be practiced in heaven, and as such, wives would be obtained there. That is not a new concept in Mormon theology, as is revealed by a quote by Heber C. Kimbal that I used on another thread.

In the quote, he is using himself and Brigham Young as the examples of two men whose wives either left them or divorced them in this temporal life. Heber and Brigham then die without any wives and find themselves in heaven in the presence of Joseph Smith and explain their predicament because they cannot obtain exaltation without more than one wife:

"Supposing that I have a wife or a dozen of them, and she should say 'you cannot be exalted with me,' and suppose they all should say so, what of that? They never will affect my salvation one particle. Whose salvation will they affect? Their own. . .
In the spirit world there is an increase of males and females, there are millions of them, and if I am faithful all the time, and continue right along with brother Brigham [Young], we will go to brother Joseph [Smith] and say, 'Here we are brother Joseph; we are here ourselves are we not, with none of the property we possessed in our probationary state, not even the rings on our fingers?' He will say to us, 'Come along, my boys, we will give you a good suit of clothes. Where are your wives?' 'They are back yonder; they would not follow us.' 'Never mind' says Joseph, 'here are thousands, have all you want.'"
Journal of Discourses, vol. 4, p. 209 209

Apparently Heber C. Kimball believed that all the Mormons who had died and been exalted before him were procreating children in heaven, so "there is an increase of males and females" in heaven and he and Brigham could have their choice of untold millions of females and were told to "have all you want."

Of course, all of those females would be spirit beings and it would be presumed that Heber and Brigham were spirit beings also until the resurrection at which time they would have bodies of flesh and bone. The problem is, when would their new wives have bodies of flesh and bone, since they were spirit beings in heaven and had never obtained a body on earth? The plot thickens.

Today, I don't think Mormon theology would accept Heber C. Kimball's simple example as being correct, but the problem still remains as you note, where do the women come from who are going to be the polygamous wives.

Today, it can only be speculated as to the source.
1. Perhaps it is Mormon women who do not marry in this life and refuse to marry in the next life. However, those women become servants to the exalted Mormons in the Celestial Kingdom and are not available for marriage and procreation because they did not fulfil their duties on earth and cannot be exalted.

2. Your other two choices are a possibility:
- Young girls who died might fit the bill, but are there enough of them?
- Nevermo women would be a good source (since there are gazillions in relation to the Mormon men) when they accept the Mormon gospel in heaven. But even though they might believe in the next life, they cannot be exalted and bear children.

One of the problems with changing doctrine is that it leaves gaping holes in what was previously believed and creates contradictions in relation to current belief. This is a very tricky problem that reveals the church simply makes-up theology to deal with an issue at the time with no thought for the consequences of the changes. So much for direct revelation.

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Posted by: Gorspel Dacktrin ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 04:25AM

Everything I read about him or by him indicates that he was, to put it diplomatically, a thuggish and ignorant buffoon who actually found polygamy to be the most attractive feature of Mormonism and, apparently, spent most of his time indulging in fantasies about making new additions to his harem both here and in the hereafter. Even the quote mentioned above indicates that he was, to read between the lines, hoping to get rid of his used wives and pick up a whole new collection in the hereafter.

(I've already apologized to Kimball about my views of his illustrious polygamous ancestor and have given him permission to take an equally dim view of my illustrious polygamous ancestor. ;o) )

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Posted by: Gorspel Dacktrin ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 04:25AM

Everything I read about him or by him indicates that he was, to put it diplomatically, a thuggish and ignorant buffoon who actually found polygamy to be the most attractive feature of Mormonism and, apparently, spent most of his time indulging in fantasies about making new additions to his harem both here and in the hereafter. Even the quote mentioned above indicates that he was, to read between the lines, hoping to get rid of his used wives and pick up a whole new collection in the hereafter.

(I've already apologized to Kimball about my views of his illustrious polygamous ancestor and have given him permission to take an equally dim view of my illustrious polygamous ancestor. ;o) )

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Posted by: Gorspel Dacktrin ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 04:25AM

Everything I read about him or by him indicates that he was, to put it diplomatically, a thuggish and ignorant buffoon who actually found polygamy to be the most attractive feature of Mormonism and, apparently, spent most of his time indulging in fantasies about making new additions to his harem both here and in the hereafter. Even the quote mentioned above indicates that he was, to read between the lines, hoping to get rid of his used wives and pick up a whole new collection in the hereafter.

(I've already apologized to Kimball about my views of his illustrious polygamous ancestor and have given him permission to take an equally dim view of my illustrious polygamous ancestor. ;o) )

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Posted by: Gorspel Dacktrin ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 04:28AM

Maybe the universe or the Flying Spaghetti Monster wants this message to be emphasized. ;o)

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Posted by: kimball ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 10:49AM

Don't worry, I'm covering your back by putting in some good words for you to grand-daddy. I'll stroke his ego and you can tell the truth about him.

But your grandpa was still a prick.

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Posted by: Gorspel Dacktrin ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 02:38PM

about the "prick" comment, but he says to say "hi" and that he's going to have the handshake system changed on the day that you try to get past the CK bouncers at the gate, so that you can't use the sacred handshakes to sneak in. I told him that actually nobody wants to sneak into that fundie plyg compound in heaven--even if they do call it the Celestial Kingdom. A rose by any other name...a fundie plyg compound by any other name...it's still same-same. (Not exactly how Shakespeare would have said it, I guess.)

;o)

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 05:55AM

They tell these women to don't get the "privilege" to marry in this life that if they are worthy, they'll get it in the CK. But then we're told that we have to do all these ordinances for dead people here, because they can't be done in the CK, it has to be done on Earth. SO, does it mean that people who were married here on Earth who didn't accept the gospel until the next life won't be together unless someone here finds them in their genealogy and has them sealed, but a girl who didn't marry here is the only exception to ordinances that can be performed in the CK without needing them to be performed here in the holy temple? If not, how are all those eternal marriages going to be performed if no one here knows who needs to be sealed to whom?

The whole thing is nuthing but sheer nonsense.

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Posted by: Tabula Rasa ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 08:51AM

I think the ratio of male to female births over time is like 4 - 5, respectively.

Ron

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Posted by: duffy ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 09:25AM

...but I always thought that we women were supposed to be the uberspiritual ones that would stay faithful to the end and that men were more prone to stray. Therefore, more women would make it to the CK and the few guys who stuck with the program would reap the rewards.

I tell my TBM friend that she can go to the CK and listen to MoTab for eternity. If the Mormons are right, then I'll be much happier in a lower kingdom listening to the Beatles and the Rolling Stones for eternity.

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Posted by: notion ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 10:18AM

Ah, this is easy. Every RS sista' knows that women are more faithful than men so it's only logical that there will be more women in CK than men. Any ward I've been to had more single ladies than single men, especially in the above-30 range anyway but I've heard the faithfulness argument way too many times.

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Posted by: Heresy ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 11:05AM

Immigrant men who miss polygamy constantly argue that there are 3-5 times more women than men on earth.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoZJelyGHuhXRBtz06YCTCTty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110820101655AAjTQg0

It's amusing to watch the internet and real life catch up to them too.

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Posted by: Healed ( )
Date: August 22, 2011 02:23PM

that says, in all contingencies, there is the millennium, where all thing will be worked according to God's eternal plan. In this case, for example, there will be plenty of women to go around because they will be raised to perfection for those men who have stayed worthy of their priesthood. Women have no such burden relative to priesthood duties. This is why if you leave the church as a priesthood holder, particularity as a Melchizedek priesthood holder, you are cooked. I'm convinced my TBM next door neighbor is linking his lips thinking about my wife, and his prospects, fifty years down the road. And so it goes...

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