I'm just wondering...will there be neighborhoods, houses, cars,vacations etc? What, exactly, are all the folks in the celestial kingdom going to be doing all day? Just creating worlds and stuff? Celestial sex for days on end? What??

I used to think we would just be in our white temple clothes walking around all exalted...didn't know what that meant exactly but it seemed to fit what I was told.

technically, if you're exalted you won't be on Elohim's planet in the star system kolob. You'll be busy in your own universe creating your own planets and star systems.

that's why the "eternal family" propaganda is bullshit. you won't see your family.

I thought the doctrine was that we'd go there for some period of time (time being relative) to learn how to be a god/goddess. I would be scared to death to just be plopped on some other planet and told to get busy creating worlds....ok, now this just seems completely insane....:)

In order to create worlds I'd have to know all that math and science stuff that I'm not good at and never liked. Do I really have to spend eternity doing something like that? Sounds like hell to me.You are either in sacrament meeting or a boring class. How fun.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2011 01:00AM by bona dea.

When I was a kid I used to think about eternity and cry.

Sure, you get to hang out in paradise or whatever. Then off to join your spouse and raise a ton of spirit babies. Teach others, visit other kingdoms, and work, work, work. Maybe get your own planet and spend a trillion years seeing it through. Have all your other creatures to tend to as God and then go back for a big family reunion with all the spirits from this life. Tour the universe and back.. but then what..

Eternity goes on FOREVER. I didn't know what to do forever and then ever and then ever. I couldn't comprehend and I would get really upset. I don't want to go on forever. It sounds pretty exhausting. My family didn't understand and thought I was a freak.

Then there was the plan of salvation. Also know as the plan of happiness. I thought I was going to be forced to be happy and I wouldn't have a choice to be sad. Therefore I wouldn't even know what sad was. In order to not recognize sadness I would have to have some of my knowledge erased or something. Maybe I wouldn't even realize what reality was (or the reality I'm used to on Earth). So I would cry.

I missed the pre-baptism days when all I prayed for was that there would be ketchup in Heaven :P

The women are destined to be perpetually pregnant. That means you are required to boink. A lot. A major part of Joe's Kingdom, neverending sex with the backing of the golden plates.

God, what a sick pedophile. He built his cult and scriptures around his own lust. Warren Jeffs is our modern incarnate of JS, plus he ascribes to the ORIGINAL BOM. Good luck finding a copy of that now.

Longout Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> neverending sex with
> the backing of the golden plates.

Wont that be a bit uncomfortable for whoever is underneath?

I have a confession: I don't like kids. I have two, and they're great, but I honestly can't bear the thought of having more (Gotta get that procedure scheduled!) The idea of making my wife pop out an infinite number of those spiritual critters sounds like my own personal hell, so I say "NO THANK YOU" to Mormon heaven.

I don't preclude what is "normal," but some people do not want kids. You just don't succumb to what others THINK is normal, but really, what is right for you is right for you.

And hey, think of those miserable kids who are born to parents who are less insightful and give birth out of guilt.

One less miserable child, one more healthy, happy adult. Good for you. Don't you wish they could grow up and understand? I do.

Any of the kingdoms of heaven would be really boring to me, and as I understand it, there will be no sex in the lower kingdoms. I wonder, just exactly how does a person learn to be a god? Is there a school where you can get a degree in godhood? Are there classes for a degree in service to a god? What if you don't like the god you are assigned to?
Perhaps, that since the GAs can see far enough ahead to ordain people to be gods, they can see far enough ahead to ordain other people to be their servants. That way, the gods and the servants will have a head start on their training, and the servants could apply to serve the gods that they like. Just a thought.

(Book of Mormon | Mormon 7:7)

"No gracias" very much!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2011 03:11AM by Fetal Deity.

If they think they'll want to do that for all eternity, why don't they want to do it now?

It's important not just for its own sake but for a bigger picture. Investigators or TBMs learn about "eternal families", "celestial kingdom" and being able to be a god and have your own universe and it all sounds so incredibly wonderful. But once you start picking away at the details the whole idea quickly goes from incredibly boring to downright ludicrous. As they say, the devil is in the details.

I say this plays into a bigger picture because once people start to think - I mean, REALLY THINK - about Mormonism it all begins to look ludicrous.

I always imagined never ending sex with all my molly mo wives. Of course it would always be celestial sex where we wouldn't have to touch or anything, just look into each other's eyes, and maybe I'd use my priesthood to say something like, "conceive" and it would be done.

If I have to spend eternity in that crappy hotter than hell polyester temple garb, I'd choose Outer Darkness™.

My vision is doing what we want to do. We can fly around, instantly learn something new, work in a garden, or just sit back with friends AND FAMILY over a cup of coffee. Cool!

If we're gods though, wouldn't it stand to reason that we would be in charge of what was good or bad on our own planets? Could I refuse to exalt people unto heaven unless they got their favorite Chevy Chase quote tattooed across their chest? Could I make the consumption of coffee a must to join me in my kingdom? And on that subject, is our god just a overgrown frat boy? Cause there seems to be a lot of hazing involved in getting to his heaven.

with your favorite people, would eventually get boring and tedious.

I can think of kazillion things I'd like to learn and do, but after a few hundred years, let alone a few THOUSAND years, I think I'd stagnate and eternal life would be a curse.
******

BUT, being a God would be even worse. I know. I've worked customer service phone lines before. People calling up with dumb and frustrating problems all friggin day long. Most of which could be solved by reading the instruction manual or thinking for maybe 90 seconds. It got old REALLY fast.

Imagine an eternity of . . . "Dear God, I've lost my car keys, please help . . . ".

If I can't have a model railroad and play paintball I don't wanna go.

Screwing.


~VOW

At least the good Mormons can keep busy screwing and leaning and creating worlds. In other Christian religions you can only look forward to worshiping at God’s feet for all eternity (and evidently being very happy doing only that). Actually, either idea is equally ridicules.

At least that's what I've been told.

Read Samuel Taylor Coleridge's Kubla Khan. It's about a quest for immortality which eventually results in madness.

"Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honeydew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of paradise."

If you don't want the long version, check out the Rush song Xanadu, based on the poem.

"Xanadu"

'To seek the sacred river Alph
To walk the caves of ice
To break my fast on honeydew
And drink the milk of Paradise...'

I had heard the whispered tales of immortality
The deepest mystery
From an ancient book I took a clue
I scaled the frozen mountain tops of eastern lands unknown
Time and Man alone
Searching for the lost Xanadu

Xanadu...

To stand within the Pleasure Dome
Decreed by Kubla Khan
To taste anew the fruits of life
The last immortal man
To find the sacred river Alph
To walk the caves of ice
Oh, I will dine on honeydew
And drink the milk of Paradise

A thousand years have come and gone but time has passed me by
Stars stopped in the sky
Frozen in an everlasting view
Waiting for the world to end, weary of the night
Praying for the light
Prison of the lost
Xanadu

Xanadu...

Held within the Pleasure Dome
Decreed by Kubla Khan
To taste my bitter triumph
As a mad immortal man
Nevermore shall I return
Escape these caves of ice
For I have dined on honeydew
And drunk the milk of Paradise

http://youtu.be/NZnZEL-LT6g


In short, immortality is for the birds.

On the subject of mortality: I saw a documentary a few years back about super-centenarians (people over 110 years old). They say that life itself makes you weary after a while, let alone thousands of years - Once a human gets to their 110th birthday, death is the only thing they look forward to.


Immortality? Not for me thanks. I'd rather go back into atoms from whence I came.

First you'll be checking in to the CKTC- the Celestial Kingdom Training Center. You'll be getting nametags and manuels and you'll be kept busy for a long time in little classes till one day they come and announce where you'll be serving your eternal sentence. Then they ship you off to some section of space to get to work. There is no rest in Mormondumb. Every member a missionary still applies when you're dead. My sympathies if you get Gordon or Kimball as an instructor.

Oh, and good luck trying to keep your creations in tune to the "truth." Cosmic matter has a will of its own. If you screw up your work you can be demoted. Don't ask to what. It's a screwy mormon universe.