So I don't hide the fact that I'm exmormon, but I don't "flaunt" it either. Nevertheless, people generally know that I'm an exmo. Whenever the topic comes up, I invariably hear jokes such as "what, you got tired of being a sister wife!" Or "how many wives did your husband have?" Or "What number wife were you?"

Usually if the fact that I'm an exmo is brought up, I want to discuss it seriously (i.e. maybe keep someone from deciding to join, or just answer general questions about TSCC).

Does anyone else ever get those jokes as an exmo?

I think it's difficult for many people to grasp the seriousness of our plight because they know so little about the impact of cults, in general, and Mormonism, specifically.

When they hear "Mormon," they respond "Hahaha ... polygamy ... hahaha!" And while I'm happy that few take Mormonism seriously, it IS annoying that they can't go any deeper than that--because we know that it goes SO much deeper than that!

out of their mind once they associate it with a particular person.

As a result, I'm often reluctant to be forthcoming about my Mormon past when meeting and getting to know nevermos. It's not that I'm trying to hide my past or be misleading about. The problem is that some nevermos can never seem to remember the key word here, namely "PAST" and instead start treating me as though I am a temple-going, tithe-paying, coffee-avoiding Mormon.

I hate that! I drink coffee all the time. Have occasional beers and have not entered a Mormon building in years. But some nevermos who years ago learned that I was an exmo will still say things to me like, "oh yeah, that's right, you don't drink coffee." WTF???

So I figure I'll leave it in the past as much as possible and if they think I'm trying to hide something--well maybe they're right, if the result of not hiding it is to be undeservedly treated like a garmie-wearing Morgbot by people who don't understand that EX-mormon means no longer Mormon.

Usually, I'm the first to crack the jokes. In fact, I made one yesterday in a staff meeting. Somebody made reference to being married five times and I said, "Insert mormon joke here." Everyone laughed and the man who was speaking said, "Oh, well, I didn't mean all at once." Hilarity ensued.

I also have a running joke with a married couple/friends of mine. I work with the wife, but have a much closer friendship with the husband. Our personalities are very similar and we're just great friends. Once, she was out of town and he'd invited a bunch of our friends over for a potluck dinner (and then we all went to a movie together). He'd just broken his ankle and was hobbling around his kitchen, trying to be the perfect host. I saw that he needed help, so I darted around, handing things to him and refilling bowls and running trash out -- whatever he needed. At the end, he thanked me for stepping up and filling in the wifely helper duties. He suggested "adopting" me as 2nd Wife. We ran this joke past #1, who thinks it's funny and went along with it. We had another friend who'd earned enough friendship cred to become #3.

But it's all just a joke. Nobody's swapping partners or anything like that. There isn't even any flirting or anything inappropriate going on.

I think joking about stuff like this is just one way to take your power back. It's how I've gotten past all the damaging doctrine and ill treatment by other mormons. When you make light of it, suddenly the monster isn't so scary anymore.

I think of the boggart in the Harry Potter novels. The boggart -- if you haven't read the books -- is a creature that takes the form of whatever you fear the most. The way to fight/vanquish the boggart is to think of something that makes you laugh. The instant you do that, the boggart disappears. Making fun of polygamy is like vanquishing the boggart.

some deep secret about myself, I used my grandmother's polygamous family as the story.

It gets people's attention.

I'm well recovered after many many years, and I too treat the inevitable questions about being from Utah with good humor.